Smart girls, would you date a guy who's "dumber" than you?

Do you purposely look for a guy who has the same or higher level of intelligence as you?

Or do you prefer to date a guy who's not as intelligent as you?

Or something else entirely?

I'm just curious...how important is intelligence in a guy to a smart girl?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I don't think I could. Interesting, stimulating, and intellectual conversation is very important to me. The guy I date has to have a good mind. That doesn't necessarily mean they have to have good grades though. My boyfriend was about a B average, while I'm an A average, but I know he's capable of getting A's, it's just not as important to him. My ex actually is taking a year off of college because of bad grades, but he's one of the most brilliant people I know, got excellent grades in high school, and understands things quickly. Anyway, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you can't really measure intelligence. It's almost more of a compatibility thing.

    I've definitely been attracted to guys who aren't as "intelligent", but I just don't think it could work to have a relationship with one of them, because we'd be thinking on different levels. We wouldn't have anything to say to each other.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I like to date guys who have strengths where I have weaknesses. For example, I'm a very book-smart, college student but my boyfriend is a mechanic. I don't think of it as me being smarter than him just because I have a more advanced education. He's just intelligent in things that I'm not-computers, cars, home repairs, that kind of thing. We balance each other out nicely that way.

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  • I'm extremely intelligent and as an "older woman" I always thought that being with someone who was really sweet and could hold his own, would be exactly what I need. Now, I'm with someone who is exactly like that, but he is dumb as a bag of sand. The problem is that he "thinks" he's very smart, constantly attempts to do things that are above his ability to figure it out, and that's what causes us trouble. Like taking over navigation and not understanding the north, south, east, west orientation. However, he needs to be able to take over navigation or he gets really... weirded out. Then there's the communication gaps that happen due to his lack of being able to remember simple things. Like telling him I'm going to be with girlfriends for a certain activity and being asked hours later when I'm updating him that I'm going from one activity to another and he asks, "Who did you go with"? Ummm... I already told you that just HOURS before. Now he's starting to do this "new thing" where he types "um" in his text messages... WTF? Those are like subjective pauses in convo that happen in SPOKEN COMMUNICATION, not written. Don't get me wrong, I really do adore this man, but I'm beginning to question whether or not I can deal with the gap in intellect in the long run. On the other hand, my intelligence is a huge turn on to him. He actually laughs at and dismisses my annoyance with him on some of these things and then I feel so horrible resulting in my ending up as a mushy loveable pile of "it doesn't matter". I've never been so attracted and attached to someone with such a limited mental agility. Has anyone ever made this type of situation work? I would love for things to work out and trust me... I'm tolerating a lot of things that give me "WTF?"-itis. I don't always speak on them when we are together and most of the time, I'm like..."Dear... blah blah blah" and then things are smoothed out. This is of course a brand new relationship and outside of that... things are WONDERFUL!

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  • Yeah...I go for smart guys, I'm in high school, so I have dated older guys because they provide more intellectual conversations. I also like smart guys because they don't care so much if I am worried about my marks. And my boyfriends have found it annoying if I'm upset about a B+ say, because I wanted a better mark. So yes, bit of a turn off when your boyfriend calls you annoying.

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  • Everyone has different strengths in what they know, I want someone who relates to me, but he has to be smart enough to get a well paying job

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  • I want us to both be intelligent but maybe not about the same exact things.

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  • No I wont...because as a girl I need some support from him in terms of many things.If he is not intelligent I doubt he able to support me tho...

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  • I can't date a guy who isn't as intelligent as I am. I'm sorry I'm being a bitch in this, but that's the truth. I say it because what I love, and talk about, requires being intelligent and I need to be able to hold a substantial conversation instead of just having a guy go "oh that's cool" like a broken record.

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  • I think I just want someone whom I can trust and make me feel confidence about myself.

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  • People have different levels of intelligence. No one looks/thinks like the other. It's impossible. That being said, intelligence is relative.

    I can't be with someone "I" don't find intelligent.

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    • What you stated is completely true...thanks for the alternate perspective. I appreciate it.

      Why can't you be with someone -you- don't find intelligent? Could you elaborate on your response? Just curious.

    • You're welcome :)

      The concept relies within the word "I". It's relative, you know. I'd like to be with a man who can carry an interesting and intelligent conversation. I can't tolerate stupidity. It's like there are guys who love the stupid cute girls that go "OMG, that is so kewwl" and others find it very annoying. I can't tolerate such thing in a man.

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