Went on a date with a nice girl last night, saw a movie and went to a bar for a few drinks.
She leaned into me during the movie and seemed a bit off for a second after it, I didn't put my arm around her during it but that's not really my style on the first date (I kinda like to talk more before I start the physical stuff, probably something I should stop).
She came onto me before the date, and seemed keen, and we had a really good convo at the bar, clicked well enough I thought.
Walked her home, had a good night kiss. I thought things went well.
Saw her today and she just seemed distant, close to blanking at points. There was a moment the convo was picking up but I had to go for an hour for a seminar.
I touched her on the shoulder and said I had to go, just naturally, just to try and remove that barrier.
I asked her if she wanted to come to a movie tonight with some friends and she said yeah, but dunno, she didn't seem enthusiastic.
Is it normal for women to just go distant after a good date? (not as in I thought it was good, as in it was genuinely good, there was chemistry, we clicked, conversation came easy to both of us).
I'm not really coming onto her heavily, in fact I am playing it pretty cool because personally I like to be a bit more sure that something is there before I start getting too touchy feely. Guess I just don't want to risk openly liking someone before I'm happy it's game on.
My plan is to see her tonight as usual, if she shows up, and just tell her last night was a bit of harmless fun and I am noticing a little bit of distance and just let her know I'm cool if she's just wanting to be buddies.
I'm just not very good at chasing women down, maybe that's what I got to do and it has been very much her who has instigated this up till now, but I just find it so hard to...get into that chasing frame of mind, the thought of wasting energy chasing someone who just isn't interested is just not cool in my books. Rather just shrug smile and walk off.
But she does seem nice, anything I can say or do to see if that chemistry is salvageable?
TBH got quite annoyed, one of my last memories of my dad was him not even able to look at me, so getting blanked just winds me up and I couldn't deal with it any more, but putting it behind me.
Girls, some of you any way, please, if you decide you're not that interested after all, be honest and let us know. :)
Most Helpful Girl
Perhaps she has the same issues as you. I mean you're not very backwards about telling us that - with the exception of the kiss; which is pretty much expected and part of the course - that there was very little that differentiates what you did last night, from just going out with any guy mate. She has very little to go on in in terms that you may be into her. Perhaps she suspects that YOU just want to be friends.
It could just be that you caught each other at a bad time today - she had something on her mind. I wouldn't read too much into it - the point is she did agree to see you again. And I know I definitely wouldn't do that if I didn't genuinely want to see the guy.
But yeah - if she does turn up tonight - don't talk about last night, don't talk about the fact that you thought she was a bit distant today, don't talk about just wanting to be friends. Even if you think you're just reassuring her that you're okay with those outcomes - all it would serve to do is make her think that that's what you want out of it. Just be yourself and let things progress naturally. Talk to her, involve her; just generally have a good time and make sure she feels like you want her to be there; and kind of that she's there with you - not just as part of the group.