I am in a situation where I've been seeing a girl on and off for awhile now, and it's gotten to the point where we seem to get in stupid fights every other time we hang out. She's extremely emotional (she's a borderline) and I tend to be sensitive at times (which is stupid I know) and a BPD + a sensitive guy = big blow ups.
Anywho, we always end up back with each other some how and I'm simply on the mission of making drastic changes to the way I am - no more being sensitive, talking about feelings, trying to get in a relationship, etc. she never likes to talk about those things which would drive me nuts sometimes because we get so close.
Anyways, she tends to meet new guy friends from time to time and she always seems to put me on the back burner when she does, making me feel like a back up plan to her if/when her new guy friend gets boring or whatever.
This happened again and I've simply decided that I'm not going to call/text her at all until she reaches out to me.
I don't mean to be immature or whatever, but wouldn't you think that perhaps I need to start making her work for me instead of me being there for her when she comes back? What else can I do so she knows that she's gotta feel lucky to have me back? I'm tired of this push/pull dynamic that is the BPD relationship...
Most Helpful Girl
you know she sounds like a girl who isn't in a serious relationship. if she blows you off for another guy, I hate to say it but you aren't her main man. seeing each other "off and on" means that its not serious. which is why she doesn't want to sit down and talk about feelings and relationships... its because you're not in a serious relationship with her. you may think so but she doesn't think so. you need to straight up ask her if she's your girlfriend or not. if she says she doesn't know then that's a no. if she says yes then you need to tell her how you feel about her going off with these other guys. that if that's the way she's going to be then its not a real relationship. when you are with someone you do not blow them off for someone of the same gender. you just don't do it. yes, do not call or text her. you let her come to you. don't wait around for her though. you should go out and have fun and talk to other women... not sexually but just casual every day conversations. don't go get with someone else but don't put your life on hold for someone who might not even be serious bout you. give her a week. if she hasn't called or text you about anything serious within a 5 day space then its not a serious relationship. at yalls age you learn to be serious with someone and that blowing the person you are supposed to be in a relationship with off for someone else is childish. she doesn't sound serious to me and she's not very dedicated to the relationship.1
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