I'm 19 years old and, yes, I'll go ahead and say it, a virgin (in every possible since of the word...I haven't even kissed a guy). I haven't dated anyone seriously, and several people have told me that apparently I'm intimidating to guys (including a former roommate, a current roommate, another close female friend, and a gay friend who says he'd be afraid to ask me out if he was straight).
I don't really understand why, to be honest. I'm a total sci-fi geek, and while I'm pretty in a girl-next-door sort of way, I'm no Adriana Lima or Jessica Simpson or whoever it is that guys like this week. And, okay, I'm smart...I'm very dedicated to my schoolwork and plan on getting a PhD in my field (primate studies).
But since this intimidation thing seems to be the problem, how do I solve it? When I'm at parties or whatever, I don't act like the "smart girl," I just hang out and have fun. I'm already very laid back and relaxed in social situations (especially after I've had a bit to drink). I'm not sure how to show guys that I'm not someone they should be afraid to approach.
And, since this might be relevant to how you answer, I plan on holding off on sex until marriage. Not really for religious reasons, but because I feel like that's the best gift I could give my husband, to be able to tell him that before I even met him, I was saving this for him. But I certainly wouldn't mind a few kisses and some affection in between!
Most Helpful Guy
You'll be a catch for whomever you find. I think it's wonderful that you have strong beliefs and reasons to back them up.
You sound mature and intelligent for your age. Unfortunately, this can be a problem when it comes to dating. Many young men don't know how to handle a smart woman, in part because there still exists the notion that men should be in the superior position at all times. Even when you try to dumb down your conversation (i.e. not acting like the smart girl), people can still sense that you're smart. It's one of those things that can't be turned off. Plus, I'll bet that most people don't know how to respond when you mention your field of study!
Given enough time, you'll be sure to meet someone just as brainy and geeky as you (if you'll pardon the pejorative terms). He'll appreciate your academic and moral strengths, and hopefully he'll have some qualities that you enjoy as well. Just remember to keep looking, and to hold onto your beliefs.5