When dating talkative girls, is it best to just "shut up" and listen?

I'm referring to outgoing personalities who aren't shy to speak their mind or make things happen. That's the type of girl I'm most attracted to(the opposite of passive aggressive), but at the same time I'm not sure about the best way to handle chatterboxes.

I was dating this one girl who was a real motor mouth (in a cute way, not in a selfish arrogant way) and I kept wondering if I should chime in or just keep nodding in approval. I'd force myself to add my two cents because I didn't want her to think she was talking to a brick wall. But it felt so awkward and didn't seem to help any.

In hindsight I think those dates could have been perfect if I just played a more passive role in those conversations and maybe peppered them with my usual quips for humor.

What's the best way to handle a girl who loves to talk?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You'll be able to judge it yourself. You already are, you just don't go with it. There are a few kinds of people... I often have conversations where I'll begin to talk and get to something like 'I, uh-' and that's about all I can say, they don't even regiiiister. After a few 'I, uh-'s (Note: I (Aye) and Uh, two verbalisations commonly found in Siddhi Yoga mantras; the phrase I-Uh is made up of the highest and lowest verbalisations possible within the throat; it may be possible to reach satori by simply talking to someone who doesn't acknowledge your attempts at conversation) I usually realize that they don't want to listen, and it's not a skill of theirs. I resign to listening and I enjoy the listening, which you must, too... The polite chatterbox will acknowledge your attempts to speak but insist they say something before allowing you to speak - if they do, they like you to talk, if they don't, they don't. If they do allow you to speak, it generally comes down to wether or not they acknowledge your contribution. If they show enthusiasm, they love it, if not, they're probably just unfazed and it distracts from what they have to say.

    Most interesting I find Anonymous w/numbers answer, because I never actually considered but have certainly encountered a logorrhoeaic such as her; the anxious talker with slight narcism. [Goes on to insult her grievously] Whereupon they'll over-talk because of their anxiety but will blame you for your inability to contribute - quite often I'll have talked to someone where they'll have just talked non-stop and not let me contribute, like you say not in an annoying way, just by demeanour, and then they'll be somewhat absent or hostile then-on, because clearly, I haven't impressed them because I *let* them do it. Some people want that perennial I-Uh mantra that never goes any further.

    So, really, you're doing the right thing, I think. It can kinda brush you up when you get ignored when trying to talk (it was shown to have a same neurological effect as breaking a limb, supposedly), and it hurls you into a lot of self-questioning and as such you always imagine you could have done something else that was better, but really, this is just another gut-reaction and probably isn't true. Unless you learn the girl really likes when people are passive, you're doing just right, I think.

    • Woaaah. Mutliple Is in register, I don't remember doing that. Jesus

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    • You sure talk a lot, when should I speak? (Mood killer)

      You ordered a light beer, is that because you think you're fat? (Mood killer)

      What size penis do you prefer and how many partners have you had?

      Do you still live with your parents?

      How much do you weigh?

      Have you been checked for STDs?

      How much money do you make?

      I see you're wearing big shoes. Do you have a big penis?

      Are you able to talk without lisping?

      Is your vagina tight?

      Do you orgasm easily or does it take you a few hours?

    • Ohhh. Yeah, it would be.


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What Girls Said 5

  • Honestly, I have a tendency of being a bit of chatter box as well. But my reason behind it is because I dislike awkward situations. When it gets quiet I tend to panic. I prefer it when the person I'm with helps in keeping the conversation going. I love to hear stories and being asked questions. Any who, there will be some days I just want to talk and say everything on my mind. It's probably due to the fact that I haven't socialized with another human being for too long. ha ha But when those days do happen and if I had a partner I wouldn't want my partner to just keep quiet and listen. I wouldn't mind if he teased me by putting his hand over my mouth or poking me. Of course this would only be doable if I wasn't talking about something important. I say just take the casual approach. I've yet to meet a girl go ballistic when someone cut into her story to stop her from talking. If a guy was ever like " Whoa wait, so when do I get to speak" It would make me feel a little silly but laugh at the same time. It helps me correct the 'problem' and know to get him involved as well :) Hope that helped :D

    There will always be opportunities for you to jump in, you just have to find them and dominate haha

  • The best way to talk is to contribute to the conversation. It might sound weird, but it really is the best way. A lot of girls keep talking because rambling on and on and on is less awkward than uncomfortable silence. Not all girls are like that but when I get all motor mouthy that's why and I know other girls who are like that too. If you contribute the conversation, it shows that you care about what she has to say, and it also takes the pressure off of her in that situation.

  • Let her chatter for a bit. She'll love that you're listening. But if you have excitable responses to what she says her heart will burst! She'll be so happy that you're interested. Really, these girls are the easiest to communicate with. It's the quiet ones that you have to really think about..

  • I like having girl friends that are chatterboxes. The problem is deciding whether she rambles from being nervous and awkward or because she's naturally talkative. If she has no problem looking at you, she is probably just talkative. Throwing in a word or two in between, smiling, and asking questions about things she's interested in (to set her off again) works like a charm.

  • the best thing is to join in the conversation


What Guys Said 2

  • Sometimes it's good. It gives you more opportunities to listen. And if you show that you have listened. She will appreciate you for listening. Girls love guys who are good listeners. So dealing with a talkative girl can offer you more of the opportunity for you to show that you are a good listener and possibly score some ; ).

  • I'm one of those silent, contemplative guys who speaks so rarely than when I do it's usually something meaningful and profound. I'd like to think that women like men who choose their words carefully, men who are good listeners and reflect on what is being said to them, and have actions that speak louder than words.

    If you are the same way, let her do most of the talking. If she has something she wants to know she will ask you, don't worry.