I'm referring to outgoing personalities who aren't shy to speak their mind or make things happen. That's the type of girl I'm most attracted to(the opposite of passive aggressive), but at the same time I'm not sure about the best way to handle chatterboxes.
I was dating this one girl who was a real motor mouth (in a cute way, not in a selfish arrogant way) and I kept wondering if I should chime in or just keep nodding in approval. I'd force myself to add my two cents because I didn't want her to think she was talking to a brick wall. But it felt so awkward and didn't seem to help any.
In hindsight I think those dates could have been perfect if I just played a more passive role in those conversations and maybe peppered them with my usual quips for humor.
What's the best way to handle a girl who loves to talk?
Most Helpful Guy
You'll be able to judge it yourself. You already are, you just don't go with it. There are a few kinds of people... I often have conversations where I'll begin to talk and get to something like 'I, uh-' and that's about all I can say, they don't even regiiiister. After a few 'I, uh-'s (Note: I (Aye) and Uh, two verbalisations commonly found in Siddhi Yoga mantras; the phrase I-Uh is made up of the highest and lowest verbalisations possible within the throat; it may be possible to reach satori by simply talking to someone who doesn't acknowledge your attempts at conversation) I usually realize that they don't want to listen, and it's not a skill of theirs. I resign to listening and I enjoy the listening, which you must, too... The polite chatterbox will acknowledge your attempts to speak but insist they say something before allowing you to speak - if they do, they like you to talk, if they don't, they don't. If they do allow you to speak, it generally comes down to wether or not they acknowledge your contribution. If they show enthusiasm, they love it, if not, they're probably just unfazed and it distracts from what they have to say.
Most interesting I find Anonymous w/numbers answer, because I never actually considered but have certainly encountered a logorrhoeaic such as her; the anxious talker with slight narcism. [Goes on to insult her grievously] Whereupon they'll over-talk because of their anxiety but will blame you for your inability to contribute - quite often I'll have talked to someone where they'll have just talked non-stop and not let me contribute, like you say not in an annoying way, just by demeanour, and then they'll be somewhat absent or hostile then-on, because clearly, I haven't impressed them because I *let* them do it. Some people want that perennial I-Uh mantra that never goes any further.
So, really, you're doing the right thing, I think. It can kinda brush you up when you get ignored when trying to talk (it was shown to have a same neurological effect as breaking a limb, supposedly), and it hurls you into a lot of self-questioning and as such you always imagine you could have done something else that was better, but really, this is just another gut-reaction and probably isn't true. Unless you learn the girl really likes when people are passive, you're doing just right, I think.1
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