Only ever communicates with me to make plans? Never calls or texts. How do I say it bothers me w/o being needy?

I am very confused. He says helikesme... but henever communicateswith mewhen we're away. I have ablast when I am with him... we can talk for hours!... but he never calls or texts me. In fact, when we make plans we txt... we don't even call. Sometimes he replies to my texts... other times not.

I have already asked him and he says he doesn't really like to text. I feel so needy and I don't want to come off as that needy girl... but when you're dating someone I'm kinda used to the cute wake up "goodmorning beautiful" texts... and the how are you? and someone who actually replies!

Does he just not like me that much? I swear, when we're together it seems like he does!

We both work and so we see each other like once a week. We don't talk in between. I don't like that... idk, feels like we're not really dating? idk? I guess I'm used to guys I date txting me all the time wanting my attention... OK not all the time, but at least once a day!

What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should recognize that this is a great, independent guy who's willing to wait to see you in person to bring out the best qualities in the both of you.

    If you sat around all day texting, what would you have to talk about on your next date?

    This is a blessing in disguise. If you really need that one text per day minimum quota filled, you can tell him that it's important for you to hear from your significant other in between dates... but it's best to let that evolve naturally rather than trying to force it. Otherwise, you might trap him into sending an obligatory daily text like some kind of RSS feed.

    Just bite your tongue for now, and if things haven't changed to your liking after a month or two, you can start dropping hints. Always reward good behavior with copious amounts of sex.

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    • Thank you! I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. I wasn't sure if this was a sign that he didn't like me... or if he's just an independent guy who doesn't like texting. You're right, I shouldn't force it. I should let it be natural. I'm sure once he likes me a lot more he'll text/want to see me more. We only see each other once a week! I think it just bothers me that I asked a question and he never replied. You're right though. I should chill, huh? We aren't even officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

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    • Treat him like you would treat an ex when you have a great boyfriend. You can be civil and respond politely, but I would decline invitations to meet up or allow very much conversation by text. I know my gender well enough to highly doubt that you'll be hearing from him again.

    • Sad. :/ I'm bummed!

What Guys Said 1

  • I think that he likes you but just doesn't like texting. Some people are like that. The question is, are you willing to risk your relationship in order to find out if he likes you enough to do something he doesn't normally do? If so, let him know how important texting is to you.

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    • No, he doesn't like texting. I even asked him. I'm glad you think he still likes me! I really like him. It's just hard being away! lol. Clearly, I like him a lot ha. I don't think I'll tell him yet. I think I should call him though. I NEVER call. I feel like I'm being a bad "girl" in the relationship... I never call and I generally let him text first... eh, maybe I need to step it up a bit.

    • Sounds like a good idea to me. Relationships are all about compromise. He should try to text more often and you should try to call more often.

    • Lol yeah, I don't think I've actually ever called to have a convo

What Girls Said 1

  • I know what you mean. TBH, that would kind of annoy me.

    Maybe he is casually dating other people as well. Does he have a very busy schedule (for example, two jobs?) If I were you, I would address it. Shock him one day and call! lol... He might have a girlfriend.

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    • He isn't dating anyone else, but he does have a very busy schedule. Pretty sure he doesn't have a girlfriend haha. I think he's almost ready to make me his gf! Crazy. I should call him... maybe I'm the sucky girl here haha, because I've never called him and the first 4 weeks of our relationship I let him text first... oops? He pretty much works m-f and then comes home for a bike ride every day. He's pretty active.

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