Why do girls respond to text in one word answers, when it requires more? How to get it to stop?

[Ssimon91]

one thing that really pisses me off is a "boring" Girl. I can't stand when I get one word answers to something that clearly requires more than that. " Yea, No, OK, Lol" are just mood killers to convos. when they aren't applied at the right time.

i know some girls do this when they aren't interested in talking, Fair enough. but when they are the ones starting the convos and what not this is really baffling. I can understand if they are shy. but there is a huge gap between being shy and being anti social and just straight up boring.

and before we can say " its you", I can hold good convos with people. I just can't crack anti socials who expect you to carry the convos.

how would I get along to fixing this? my current solution to to just not talk to them (dont start the convo) but it gets annoying when they hit you up first with this mess. my 2nd game plan is about to be just straight up telling them that they are boring to talk to.

just wana hear both sides of this.

Updates

+1 y

wow didn't expect this much responses. ima try to comment on the ones that i can.

and for the record for any future responses, when i said "girls" i wasn't trying to imply that only girls do this. (sorry if it seemed that way)

[Anonymous]

I've had this problem with a guy before. He would give one word answers and the convo would die. At first I thought it was because he just wasn't interested, but after a week of not talking I messaged him again and he was super eager, saying multiple things at once (Hey! I miss you! How have you been") and we had a long and fulfiling convo. So I think sometimes people will answer with just one word if they are busy and don't have the time to talk, so they want to conversation to die out or they don't really have the time to think of a better response.

Also, sometimes I will respond with only one word if I don't know what else to say in response to what the guy just said.

And finally, as others have pointed out, its very possible that this girl is "antisocial" only when you text. Some people prefer face to face conversation. Some people prefer texting because you have the time to think of a good response when flirting, but for other people, that extra time puts a pressure to construct the perfect response, and those people freak out and end up saying something simple.

You should not tell the girl she is boring to talk to if you are interested. Try talking to her through other means. If you can't see her in person, you can try Skype. Or try Facebook chat- usually if people are just on Facebook they aren't busy and will put more into the conversation, whereas if you text her, she might be eating dinner or at work and that's why she gives brief responses.

[Lauren2410]

Really? I think it's a boys thing haha .. I am a really shy girl but you can't stop me from talking if I get comfy with you. But I usually talk a lot on the internet because it's easier and faster to type.I usually text,so I still talk enough,but it takes a while to type a larger message.And most of the guys I know give only 2-3 words answers,so you can't say only girls do that. I usually send one words text when I'm busy or not in the mood to talk. I'm shy only in person if I don't know that person very well or it's a first date stuff like that,it's like my mouth is locked. Maybe I'm not used to it,since I've never had a boyfriend. I remember with my crush(we are friends now), at the beginning when we met,I used to carry the convos on Facebook.Oh my god,and in person the first time it was so awkward,it was my first date ever and he was also quiet,although he didn't seem shy at first,and he really isn't.We were only friends and during our friendship he started to maintain the conversation more and actually talk a lot.I guess it depends a bit of how used to you are the girls you talk to.And shyness..I guess only for the first few times talking online or texting,otherwise I don't know. And in person it's normal for the first few times to be a little shy. Oh...and NO,please,don't tell a girl she's boring..honestly,we are differently wired than you guys.It will kill a part of her self-esteem in less than 10 seconds imo. haha. Have a nice day :)

[PLLFan21]

Yeah you should do your game plans that you planned. But, if I did't text you first, and I'm replying in one word, I'm either not interested, annoyed, or something they said. :-)

[Ssimon91]

yea. if I text first and I get one word answers, I know to back off for a while . my whole problem is when they start the convo and do this.

[PLLFan21]

Yeah. You should tell them something especially when they text You first.

[Ssimon91]

ima try that then and see what happens.

[PLLFan21]

Okay :)

[Ssimon91]

thanks btw

[PLLFan21]

No problem

[nyfan25]

I've had to deal with this and similar issues a lot because of long distance relationships. Basically the moral of that is, don't assume you know the tone of the text. And the second moral would be, don't send one word texts, or have conversations that end up having one person do all the "work."

So basically, you've got a very valid point. But the best thing to do is approach it head on and just ask about it. You'll get surprised. Unless the person really isn't interested, but you already know that. But it isn't necessarily "anti-social" behavior, there could be valid reasons for it, or it doesn't seem weird to them because they imagined it in a very differ tone/state of mind. You have less to lose by bringing it up than by doing nothing and just giving them the silent treatment.

[Anonymous]

Best thing to do here is to stop texting her for a while. If she is interested she will come back and next time the texts won't be interested. If she doesn't come crawling back, she wasn't interested ot begin with, and you won't waste any more time.

[Ssimon91]

when I do this and she "Reaches out" to me , its the same thing. it feels like I'm the one carrying this convo.

[Opinion Owner]

So, you ignore and then she texts you first and has like one word answers to everything and doesn't keep the convo going? Have you hooked up yet?

[Ssimon91]

no lie, that really how it goes. and nah

[Opinion Owner]

I'd say this is the only option left. Push for a meetup and hookup. The rule I use is 2 strikes and you are out. With shy girls, they usually break the first date. But, then the ball is in their court, they have to push for the second date, AND go through with it. If she breaks two, or doesn't make up breaking the first date, leave it and find someone else, there are so many chicks out there

[Ssimon91]

by break do you mean she "flakes"and doesn't come. or that she still remains "boring"?

[Opinion Owner]

flakes

[Ssimon91]

iight i got you now

[kliveni]

thanks , next time i won't continue askin and asking her if i can come over , the whole time 1 word awnser when i go in for the Location so i know where to go , she says im not telling u , thats when i shouldve set my boundaries and leave , but i talked xD thanks man u openend up my eye. Also tell me what u guys think about my situation

[523206720]

I don't like texts. It's such an informal way to communicate. I never text anybody - even if it's Obama who wants to send me a text message or somebody else ridiculously important like that and I take it very personally when I make an important request over text and am rejected. I would stop texting and e-mail which is cheaper or talk over the phone. The only time I text is when I am about to meet somebody and I want to know what bus terminal or what time they re supposed to meet them in or how late their ride is.

[Iknowuwantthis]

Tbh they're not interested in you or the conversation if they are responding with short answers

If I'm texting the guy I like.. My text messages are long. Sometimes in paragraphs. Accompanied by videos and photos sometimes. Lol.

I always wonder if I'm overdoing it but I talk just the same with my friends and this is who I am so.. whatever. But he doesn't seem to mind, he does the same exact thing back to me xD So its all good :P

But yeah if a girl was really interested.. she wouldn't be "boring"

[maya89]

you could always try saying something like "well aren't you talkative tonight" or something like that which comes off as being a joke but also makes the person aware of what they are doing

[Ssimon91]

ima give this one a go as well.

[koibito]

Maybe they're just not texters. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they are not in the mood.

I've encountered girls who are perfectly capable and interested in engaging in long conversations with me, but will sometimes do one-word text replies. Yes it's a real mood killer but I've learnt to ignore reading too much into why the texts are so short.

Either I need a new topic to text them about, or this is not the right time to text them, or I'll just ask them out for a chat directly.

[HarryB]

What if they text you?

[kliveni]

Bro I just figured it out , Its all a SHIT TEST...

They do it to figure out whether u truly are as confident as u show urself, if u have got the courage to not be angry at her , basically she filters out the pussies ( I was one and it is hard toacknowledge it but u got to do it ) and keeps the real deals, the real deals won't leave her at the first sign of threat , they will take the time to figure things out with her , (another shittest, if she starts a fight over nothing) and overall be a worthy Man.

Got questions ask , im glad to help

[JulieXO]

It's a universal sign that they're not into you. Even if they're shy, they would take the time to respond accordingly. So take the hint XD

Also, if you find them boring, why do you still keep talking to them? If they are anti-social and lame over text, I doubt it will be any better in real life. Not worth the time in my opinion :)

[Prof_Don]

Just ask her why she's responding in one word answers and ask if she's tired or busy, you'll be surprised in a good way how the responses will turn out.

She could be busy, she could be tired/sleepy, she could simply not enjoy texting!

Dont be scared to ask; women like directness in a guy, and you seem to be fearful of directness in this aspect (otherwise you would've asked her directly by now).

[TrackisLife]

I sooooo hate this too. I ask and make sure i am not annoying or bothering them because i am not like why are they being so boring, but it got better with this girl i was talking to. She finally started asking questions

[MaskedSanity]

I have no clue, man. I love texting and usually write long-winded messages to anyone regardless of relationship to the person I'm talking to.

The only thing I can think of is that she's not that interested or busy.

[brookelauren42]

if they're boring then they probably have nothing to talk about but obviously want to talk to you if they start the convo. ask them to hangout and do something.. the more you get to know a person the more there is to talk about. & getting to know someone over text just makes it awkward to be around them in person. always try to hangout with them asap

[BrunetteNYC]

stop texting, talk on the phone or in person more, even Skype if need be. I hate texting and also hate when guys insist like somehow this is the only mode of communication - I think that solves it.

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

They don't sound interested? Don't tell a girl she's being boring that's insulting. Don't put your energy into a girl who's not interested and then claim she's antisocial.

[idontgetmen]

I only give one word answers when I'm angry. My question for you is why do guys do the same?

[Anonymous]

I find it weird that yor having this problem because usually it's the girls getting annoyed that the guy they want hardly talks to them. With that being said, she might be nervous to, I know when I really like someone I get super nervous and I take a while to respond because I don't want to send something stupid and embarrass myself.

[ARCTICMS]

My ex always reply my text like this,well, his explanation is "busy"

when I complained about this he said he was tired.

[someonenormalplease]

Lol

[Anonymous]

IT'S NOT JUST A GIRL THING.

[Ssimon91]

i don't have this problem with guys. only girls. just saying.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are bored with you. Try asking the girl questions about school, TV, clubs, friends, etc. If you ask her questions that she can relate to, you should be able to get her to talk. But if she is still boring you, maybe you should talk to her more in person. It doesn't nessisarily mean she is boring, maybe she just doesn't know how to keep up a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I write a lot when I text people, my friends always complain that I send paragraphs when I talk. I guess that if they text you first they just don't want to seem like they care too much. When I texted the guy I liked I would only right one sentence compared to my usually paragraph and I would wait until he responded before saying something else, but I don't think that ALL girls answer like that. Or maybe they just don't want to talk to you? Idk, girls are weird.

[gostar]

usually the only time I give one word answers is when I'm angry

[Churdle]

it doesn't really matter why she's giving one word replies. Dont wast your time just move on. find some one who is willing to put in the same effort you are. the only persons behavior you can control is your own.