Does it matter who texts first if you are just friends with the guy?

Me and my friends were having a debate about this. I feel that if you are friends with the guy, and he has been your friend for a long time, that it shouldn't matter if you text him first or if he does. Like my guy friends always initiate with me first, but then I have some guy friends, who haven't been texting me, so I text them first to see how they are, and my girlfriends have that attitude like "The guy should always text first" I believe that to some degree, but if you are just friends with them then why does it matter?

So guys does it matter if you are friends with girl and they text you first? Does it still come off as needy? I would only think that applies to dating, but my girlfriends keep on saying "No matter what you should NEVER text a guy first" so your thoughts? Do you agree? Or disagree? Thank you!


Most Helpful Guy

  • It never matters who texts first. Societal norms may influence how we choose to believe this scenario 'should' be, but it doesn't matter if the guy or girl texts first, whatever the context.

    • Yeah I agree! It's so ridiculous! Cause I am just that type of person that doesn't play games, like if I have something to say or I wanna ask you something, or I wanna see how you are etc. I am going to text you weather you're a girl or a guy, lol. But thank you!


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What Guys Said 4

  • Ideally it doesn't matter who texts first. But nature has made most women in a certain way and what your friends say is right for a lot of reasons i. e. 'let the guy text first'

    Not everyone especially the guys perceive actions the way you do which may result in them perceiving that you are easy and available even if not necessary sexually or as needy.

    I'll agree with your girlfriends but am not asking you to change yourself :)

    • correction not 'but am not asking you to change yourself' but 'but am not recommending you change yourself' :D

    • No it's cool. Yeah, I guess some guys will think that way, haha! Oh well! Thanks for commenting! :)

    • oh the 'some' is chaps like me and the majority are like most you have come across lol :D thank you for understanding :D

  • I think the whole texting game that most girls today love to play is really annoying and a total turn off. It doesn't matter who texts first or how long you take to reply. Personally I stop texting a girl if she starts playing this childish game. I don't have time for stuck up girls who think this way.

    • Agreed! Looks like i'm winning this little debate, haha! Everyone seems to agree with me that it's childish, and ridiculous! lol. Thank you! :)

    • Haha I think even your friends probably agree that its childish and dumb but they just won't admit it.

    • I think you're onto something, haha.

  • Just under half of my good friends from college are girls, many of them like sisters. I wouldn't give it a second thought about who would text first. If you have something to ask or say, do it. My gf doesn't care either and she's actually become friends with a lot of them.

    • Yeah, I don't give it a second thought either. I agree! To me though it's just immature, but even in high school I still was contacting guys I like, lol. I don't place an importance on who texts who first, it's stupid and immature to be honest. I think a lot of girls are just really hung up on that, and I guess my girlfriends are part of the flock, lol. Thanks for commenting! :)

  • I don't see why it matters. He's just a friend. Your girlfriends are muppets who let unwritten rules govern their interactions. That's foolish.

    • Yeah I agree! I just don't get hung up on who texts first, it's like if I have something to say, then I will say it, I won't do it, just because "He should text me first" That's ridiculous! Especially if he's just a friend and no romantic feelings are involved, at least on my end, haha! But thank you for commenting! :)

What Girls Said 3

  • Why is it needy' if you text first even if its a guy you like?

    If he does not want to talk to you he does not have to respond. If he responds then he wants to talk.

    I do not see what being 'needy' has to do with a mutually desirous and beneficial communication.

    • I know! I don't understand it either! It's immature, and I just don't agree with that mentality, lol. Thanks for commenting! :)

    • Show All
    • Thanks! :) Yeah, it's just a little debate me and my friends were having, seems like everyone agrees with me, haha! Thank you! :)

    • ;-) No problem.

  • Why over think it? If you want to talk to someone talk to them! The whole concept of guys having to initiate everything is so dumb.

  • I don't think it does. Because, you're just friends with the guy. And it wouldn't matter even if there was something more going on, because if you wanna talk to the guy, you have to text him. You can't wait for him to do it, how should he know? he won't get a dream at night like "BrunetteBabe1005 wants you to text her, do it right away" :P just kidding... the main thing is, it doesn't matter. :-)

    • Haha! Thanks girl! :) I know! I think it's actually immature, cause that's kinda something you do in highschool, like "Don't text him first!" But even in high school, I was still calling and texting guys first, lol. I just don't get hung up on it, and I just don't think it matters either! Especially if they are just friends. That's the thing if I have something to say, then I will say it, i'm not going to text just because "He should be texting me first!" Haha! But thank you for commenting! :)

    • Anytime ^_^