Is my guy friend attracted to me, even though he has a gf?

Okay, I have a guy friend of mine (or, an acquaintance really), that I used to have a REALLY HUGE crush on. My feelings for him have died down somewhat, but he's always known that I've liked him for 2 years.

Well, meanwhile he's been kind of dating this girl for about 2 years, but his actions towards me are very confusing at times!

Like there's always been something there.

For example, our interactions have always been kind of awkward/tense. He's a little on the shy side, so at times he acts kind of shy around me. Why would he be shy around me if he doesn't like me at all?

Sometimes we flirt with each other (like joke and tease each other), and at times I'll catch him checking me out. I always try to respect the relationship that he and his girl/gf have with each other, so I don't try to overstep my boundaries.

His actions don't make sense at all!

For example:

1) He very rarely (if ever) invites me to hang out with him and his friends and his girlfriend. His girlfriend is never around if I'm going to be invited.

2) He gets jealous/uncomfortable if another guy is interested in me. One time he tried to block another guy who was interested in me! Whenever the guy would invite me places with his friends, my guy friend wanted to come too. Or, he'll find a way to interject when he feels that another guy is showing me attention! It's weird!

3) He always seems embarrassed whenever I happen to be in the same place as he and his gf. He always looks at me kind of sheepishly, and our interactions (if we interact at all) are very short and tense.

4) I notice that he stares at me from a distance at times, or he'll be hanging around me at times, but won't say anything! Or, if he does say something, he'll seem a little nervous, and we'll be looking at each other for a long time. We talk much better when we're alone with each other.

5) He gets mad or upset if I act like I don't see him. I'm not doing it to be mean, but I figure that if he has a gf, then I don't want to get hurt and I want to respect their relationship!

What do all of his actions mean? Is he just trying to play a heartless cruel trick on me since he KNOWS that I like him? Or, does he kind of like me too, and just knows that he can't do anything about it since he has a gf? Why would he act this way when he KNOWS that I like him? Wouldn't he NOT want to give me ANY mixed signals at all, so that I don't get the wrong impression?

Also, what should I DO about this situation? I mean, I've been casually dating other guys and have been trying to get my mind off of this guy friend of mine, but it's hard!

Sometimes I feel like just cutting him off until he can make up his mind, but that's not really nice. Plus, my friends have said that he seems down when I just completely ignore him. I dont' want to be mean, but I need to protect my feelings. :(

Sorry for the lengthy question, but I just don't know what to do!


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off you I can't answer this until I know the type of connection he and his girlfriend shares. Is it having a girlfriend just to have one? In that case he is in "what if" case. i.e. he is like "what if I had asked this girl out, she appreciates me so much more than my gf."

    Otherwise it maybe philandering.

    It may or may not be a mind game. There are two ways to make sure i) asking him and ii) studying closely the relationship he shares with his gf.

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      He and his girlfriend seem to have a close relationship. But they don't seem to be compatible much because they're always fighting!

      What do you mean by "philandering"?

      I don't think he's doing it to deliberately play a "mind game". He just doesn't seem like that kind of guy. I honestly dont' think he's deviously trying to find ways that he can intentionally hurt me. I think he's just confused, and doesn't know what he wants.

      I think he's attracted to me, but he wants his gf.

    • Report

      Philander is the synonym of player. lol.

      The thing that is probably happening is that he jumped into the relationship at the wrong moment and they don't share a wonderful chemistry. Maybe he was a little emotionally down or insecure at that time and that led to the relationship. Now he sees you and misses you. He thinks how much you care for him and you would be such a great gf. But he already has a girlfriend and that's the problem. It was wrong timing for him. So whenever he sees you are .... contd...