I'm sure everyone of us has gotten a comment like this before from a man...
"Why do you wanna be so skinny you look hotter (this way)"..."why do you wear makeup I think you're sexy without it"...."you'd be so much hotter if you just lost (X) amount of pounds".
"I prefer long hair, I prefer short hair, I don't like piercings, YO I love modified chicks"
Notice a lot of I's/me's coming out of men's mouths when it comes to women's bodies? Yeah me too! And while men are 100% entitled to their physical/sexual preferences here is a reality check...our self image isn't centered around your boner *shock!*
Think about it like this: have you ever gone to an art museum and seen a really beautiful painting that just...spoke to you. The colors were just so and the subject was compelling and resonated with you on an emotional level.
Now did you wanna strip your clothes off and hump that painting like a bitch in heat? If you're an ordinary person, probably not!
The same could be said of women when it comes to our own personal sense of beauty. In a real way we are the canvas and when we style ourselves we're doing it so we can get that same feeling we got at the museum when we look back in the mirror.
We want our outer shell to reflect our inner person. Our aesthetic sense. Our individuality. Maybe our creativity. When we go out in the world we want to feel as though our true self is being expressed through our physical form.
For me that's big lashes and thick liner maybe to give me a bit of mystery. Long, dark hair because nothing screams "feminine" and "elegant" to me more. A lean, slender body to give a sense of delicacy. Bright dresses to show off my fun and girly side.
This is all pretty accepted but that just happens to be who I am. Maybe that girl you label as "fat" feels like her plus sized body is showing off her big personality. Maybe that girl with tattoos and blue hair is showing off her artistic side.
The point is no matter how we style ourselves we should be doing it *for* ourselves, not for a man. No matter who you are there is someone out there who will think you're beautiful and there will be plenty who don't.
So be you. Be the best you you can be. Embrace whoever it is you feel like on the inside and let it shine on the outside for the whole world to see. Don't worry if people don't understand, your body is a work of art and like all art it is subjective.
We make the rules. Not men. Not society. Us. If you don't love yourself then no one else can so start and if you truly believe it in your heart then no matter who you are or what you look like, you are beautiful.