Women aren't beautiful FOR men

Women aren't beautiful FOR men

I'm sure everyone of us has gotten a comment like this before from a man...

"Why do you wanna be so skinny you look hotter (this way)"..."why do you wear makeup I think you're sexy without it"...."you'd be so much hotter if you just lost (X) amount of pounds".

"I prefer long hair, I prefer short hair, I don't like piercings, YO I love modified chicks"

Notice a lot of I's/me's coming out of men's mouths when it comes to women's bodies? Yeah me too! And while men are 100% entitled to their physical/sexual preferences here is a reality check...our self image isn't centered around your boner *shock!*

Think about it like this: have you ever gone to an art museum and seen a really beautiful painting that just...spoke to you. The colors were just so and the subject was compelling and resonated with you on an emotional level.

Now did you wanna strip your clothes off and hump that painting like a bitch in heat? If you're an ordinary person, probably not!

The same could be said of women when it comes to our own personal sense of beauty. In a real way we are the canvas and when we style ourselves we're doing it so we can get that same feeling we got at the museum when we look back in the mirror.

We want our outer shell to reflect our inner person. Our aesthetic sense. Our individuality. Maybe our creativity. When we go out in the world we want to feel as though our true self is being expressed through our physical form.

For me that's big lashes and thick liner maybe to give me a bit of mystery. Long, dark hair because nothing screams "feminine" and "elegant" to me more. A lean, slender body to give a sense of delicacy. Bright dresses to show off my fun and girly side.

This is all pretty accepted but that just happens to be who I am. Maybe that girl you label as "fat" feels like her plus sized body is showing off her big personality. Maybe that girl with tattoos and blue hair is showing off her artistic side.

The point is no matter how we style ourselves we should be doing it *for* ourselves, not for a man. No matter who you are there is someone out there who will think you're beautiful and there will be plenty who don't.

So be you. Be the best you you can be. Embrace whoever it is you feel like on the inside and let it shine on the outside for the whole world to see. Don't worry if people don't understand, your body is a work of art and like all art it is subjective.

We make the rules. Not men. Not society. Us. If you don't love yourself then no one else can so start and if you truly believe it in your heart then no matter who you are or what you look like, you are beautiful.


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What Guys Said 12

  • Actually, men make the rules on what is sexually attractive in a woman, just as women decide what is sexually attractive in a man.

    Hence why more and more guys are becoming "players/jerks" because they want to fit what turns women on.

    If you don't want to make yourself fit what men find attractive--such as, long hair, not being overweight, not dressing awfully--you can. Hell, you get fat and wear pajamas all day. That's your right.

    Likewise, men don't have to find you more attractive and talk to you/try to date you. We are free to ignore you 100%, and go chat up that slim girl with long hair who looks hot.

    It's like--I don't have to be punctual, or alert, or sober. But if I don't fit what employers find attractive, they don't have to hire me. They'll go find someone else who has a decent suit, shows up on time, clean and sober.

    picboxy.com/.../there-are-always-consequences.jpg

    Your actions will always have consequences. You just have to pick the ones you can deal with. I want to work out, look smokin hot, dress well? More of my time is gone staying fit, but if I'm not careful, I could end up needing surgery on a shoulder or a visit to the chiropractor.

    You want to chop your hair off, get fat? Your consequence will be, that only desperate/loser men will bother chatting you up, and the attractive men will go chat up attractive women, ignoring you. If you're good with that, then full speed ahead!

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  • I agree, but just like you dress one way because YOU want, we give our opinion because WE want. When I say, "I think you'll look better with this" I'm not saying you look ugly with what you're wearing, or that you should change that immediately, I'm just giving my opinion on what I think looks better. Some women jump when you say something like this. We're not saying you should dress for us, we're just saying what we think looks better on you.

    Everyone should dress however they want, it's their own body, but they should also accept other peoples opinion, not think that we want you to dress one way or the other.

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    • There's a difference between merely voicing your opinion and questioning why people don't agree with/want to listen to your opinion.

    • @lumos True, that's why I said "some women jump when...", but I guess I should also have said "Some men..." instead of implying all men don't do that.

  • This goes both ways you know.

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  • This whole time I thought you were beautiful for me. This is most upsetting!

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    • Hahah common misconception;)

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    • Haha yeah and it's not that I dont wanna be sexually appreciated too. I mean God knows ;) I just don't like the feeling that that's the only reason women want to look pretty.

      I also dont like feeling like everything has to represent something sexually appealing for men. like girls have to be a size 0 AND have big tits. It places unlikely expectations on our bodies and drives lots of women to try to change themselves to please EVERY man when that's not even possible.

    • Doubt you ever worry about being sexually appreciated.

      I agree with "It places unlikely expectations on our bodies and drives lots of women to try to change themselves to please EVERY man when that's not even possible"
      The problem is most people change to please others not to better themselves.

  • 1mo

    what is this.
    You females always say and make memes like
    - i like tall guys
    - no fat guys over here
    - no shorties (under 6ft.) and so on

    And most of you women and a couple of guys shaming theirselves. Most of you complaining to each other that they're fat or ugly and shit.

    Accept the fact that girls fuck bad boys "because of their confidence" and end up in their 30s fucked up... i mean girls have tastes and guys have tastes.
    Do you like a fat guy with no work and salary and crushed teeth. Let me say the most ugly guy.

    If you not i can also cry and say that men aren't beautiful to women.
    You women have power and still act like messed up slaves. Most guys become dicks because they see that dicks get chicks.

    Because of that misusage of female power you have is why 50% percent of this site is full of whining "nice guys" crying and whining that they can't get a girls because of a bad boy took off his chances.

    You too stupid if you haven't seen that beautystandards have been changed. First in 1700s you had to be fat cause it shows that you're rich. On to 1850s to 2005s you had to be thin and tall (which is something unreachable). From that to now you have to be thin and have ass and boobs like Barbie or be thick and chubby. All those things from 1850s up to now had been put on us by women and some gay men.

    You women have power but don't know how to use it. You can easily trick guys and for you there is a bigger chance to think you beautiful because guys will fall in love quickly on somebody than girls. Girls to picky and fuck the upper 20% and also want to be loved by them.

    So think before you talk.

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  • Everybody is beautiful in his/her own way.

    Then you should not get offended when someone says you 'ugly' because you are not beautiful for that guy you are beautiful for yourself, but still you'll get offended.

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  • Ehh ok but I'm pretty sure you dress or look a certain way partly because you like it and partly because it's the image you project to others

    Otherwise style and fashion wouldn't exist :/

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  • Another woman blaming men for her own insecurities. Shocking...

    Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Be whatever the fuck you want to be. But whatever you do, stop blaming men for your shit.

    Yes, I read your response below to the female who called you out for your anti-male hate propaganda. She was right, and you were just back peddling after getting called out. Doesn't change a thing.

    Again, do whatever you want, just stop blaming men and playing the victim game. It is getting so fucking old.

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  • Women are a bunch of lunatics who is it that comes and throws a fit when men dont notice the slightest change ike a shorter haircut or a pair of new shoes and goes ballistic that they haven't noticed it huh? IF YOUR BEAUTIFUL AND YOU KNOW IT THEN SHUT UP AND OWN IT DONT COME HERE LOOKING FOR ATTENTION.

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  • Oh myyy... my Bullshit detection device is off the charts on this take... Honey... we ALL do it , men and women... damn I´m working on my self for pass 2 years , trying to conquer myself , my feelings , meditating , you know doing my best to have a great life and am still guilty of doing something from time to time to impress others. Only a man can make a woman feel like a woman just like only a woman can make a man feel like a man (unless your gay). This take is nothing more than going the extra mile to delude your self in hopes to find other who are deluding themselves to help you prove your point. Basic human psychology. Look I know I˝m coming on quite arrogant right now but look at the society , talk to the people , how many are on antidepressant meds? Its quite nice advice you put to be the best you can be , but your only 19 years old , you still dont know how rough this world is and maybe , just maybe this is true for you what you said , but for the majority of women its not. Its insane what they are capable to do and go through to attract guys. Look you can lie to others but never lie to your self , I do hope that you will get in that small grope of people doing and wearing things only for themselves and not caring about what other think. Thats hard to achieve. P. S. Im quite curious what had put you off to wright this little article?

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  • bad take. things are much more simple. two main reasons, insecurity and narcissism. ha "we want to project our inner sense of aesthetics"... yeahh right...

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  • Interesting take. 👍

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What Girls Said 10

  • Lmao I know right. I remember this one question that a guy asked on here which was about girls and dieting. He was all like "omg why do girls diet in order to look like those thin models, why won't they just realize that men like thicker women? I don't think those thin women look attractive at all!!! Why do they still want to diet?"
    And I'm just like... because they don't live to please you and because THEY think that it's pretty?

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  • Ah ha, love this. I dress for myself, no one else. When I wear sweats, I'm not thinking, "Oh, today I want to appear like a cute, casual, sporty girl who just wants to have fun!" I just wear them because I want to be comfortable...

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  • I really dont think men appreacite woman worth like no matter the preference any woman is beutiful just bc they are woman should be appreciated more

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  • I do understand and I do agree with the underlying point of your take (I think some people have read quite deeply into it where I think you purely were meaning don't let someone dictate what they think your life should be. And that goes for men and women).

    I think it's good to have feedback though. My boyfriend says things like you look better with long hair, etc. I don't take it as him dictating my life, I take it as an outsiders viewpoint on myself.
    We've all seen plenty of people walk out the house looking as though their 60 cats raped their head as they got dressed. And it's not expression. Sometimes an external judgmental voice is helpful. Eg "you really don't suit a knee length skirt". Although you shouldn't base your life off others, I think it's good to listen.
    I went through a phase in my emo teenage years of wearing short sleeved tshirts and arm warmers. Wish someone had told me to stop expressing myself...

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  • Exactly. If a woman gets a haircut, it's because she wants a shorter haircut. She's not doing it to impress anyone, unless you count her reflection - because she's doing it for her goddamn self. Not sure why some men think the world revolves around their gender.

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  • I believe all men are loving themselves only and they go through women to reaffirm that.

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  • You said it perfectly. I hate hearing "guys don't like girls who wear this, who are you getting cute for, boy don't like girls who" like ughhh my decisions don't revolve around what guys want.

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  • Great take, I've been trying to explain this to men for a long time. I get told I shouldn't be tattooed or pierced because it's ugly for girls, or that I probably just did it all for a guy. It's demeaning and ignorant, but this article has worded my feelings so eloquently. Thank you!

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  • This just sounds like a lot of anti-male hate propaganda to me.

    The image of what is attractive in regards to the female appearance changes in relation to what society deems attractive. How does society base this standard? Well the find out what the opposite sex deems attractive at that particular moment and uses it to push all things related to image. SO when you look in the mirror and think what you see is Museum worthy, it is because YOUR opinion has been altered by the male idea of what is attractive, just not directly. You only love yourself based on what is the SOCIETY standard. Back in the 50's it was hips and a little thickness, then in the 90's it was waif thin, now it is changing again.

    In regards to the "Notice a lot of I's/me's coming out of men's mouths when it comes to women's bodies?" Let's talk about how much I's/Me's come out of our mouth when it comes to everything men do. Men are expected to pretty much bow to every insane idea, thought, demand, sexual craving, physical and mental ideal, and societal standard. They are not allowed to complain about it or ask questions, if they do, they are shamed, and attacked either physically or verbally.

    Men having natural sexual urges, does not make them monsters. A male being sexually attracted to a female is why our species isn't extinct. Let's stop shaming them for it with nonsense like. " Now did you wanna strip your clothes off and hump that painting like a bitch in heat? If you're an ordinary person, probably not!"

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    • You completely misunderstood my point.

      I'm not shaming men's sexual desires. I LOVE men and I love sex. In fact you probably won't meet many more sexually experienced girls my age than me.

      There's nothing hotter to me than when a guy finds me so attractive he just wants to rip my clothes off...

      That being said my point was that we shouldn't be defining our self image around this. Around mens sexual urges. No matter who we are there will always be people who find us attractive and people who don't. So instead of changing ourselves to meet a mans expectations we should just be ourselves a find a man whose expectations are already in sync with who we are.

      And I also admitted that most of the way I style myself is easily accepted by society but not everyone is like me. This just so happens to be an image I embrace. But my sister has a tattoo everywhere you can imagine (including neck and head) and piercings

      That isn't less acceptable than me. Just less accepted

  • ... Thank you so much for this... Seriously... Thank you.

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