They look away quickly as if nothing has happened. Girls, what is going on here?

I see woman in the street, on the bus, train etc. I see them looking at me out of the corner of my eye, or in reflections, so I try to give eye contact with a soft smile - but 98% of the time they look away quickly as if nothing has happened. I decided enough was enough, the other day I was on my way to work and I caught a girl looking at me, she gave me a slight smile, so I softly smiled back. She was sitting opposite me on the train, so I sparked up a conversation, small talk about what she was reading. I got one worded answers, and she seemed slightly nervous talking to me - so much so I gave up and went back to staring out of the window.

Another time, A girl looking quite hot walked towards me, I had already caught her eye, so I said hello, she gave me a sweet smile, I asked how she was, she smiled and seemed really shy, but she just walked off.

I don't get it...98% of the time, girls just seem to want to look at me but they don't want to make small talk..it's bugging me because I like these girls I wanted to talk too and hopefully meet up with, but I can't seem to open them up or make them hang around long enough to hold a decent convo with. Any ideas here would be a great help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not alone. That has happened more times to me than I could ever hope to count. I used to take the train everyday and that would constantly happen. I would strike up conversations and would get one word answers. I would try and strike up a conversation. I'd ask these girls about what book they were reading or what game they were playing on their iphone casually. It was usually to no avail. On just a handful of occasions (I rode the train for a couple years) I did get a really good conversation going, but that was always the end of it. No numbers or contact info. At best I'd get a name. I just came to accept that it is how it is for whatever reason. If you add it up and do the math... I rode the train for an hour and a half per weekday for 2 years which adds up to over 1000 hours (wasted/spent) on the train and I got only a handful of good conversations with girls. That's just sad.

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    • I am glad I am not the only one... thanks man..

What Girls Said 2

  • it 's difficult to form any form of affiliation with a stranger when your time is limited - try asking the next girl to meet you at lunchtime or somehwere near your work to take that personal edge off a bit. Or even tell her which bar you'll be in after work and see if she turns up - warn her you've only got a half hour limit though before you get bored and want to leave without company - but give it 45 minutes incase she's stuck at work late.

    I know when I used to look at guys I fancied or caught them staring I'd be really embarrassed that he'd caught me doing it that I couldn't look back at hime. Or I'd feel like I was trying to pick up men on the tube or in ticket queues - it's not the "normal" way of meeting someone is it?

    You sound nice, good luck I think it's great that you're willing to take the lead in this, very brave. I wouldn't have the balls, so well done!

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  • I'm not sure how hot you are, but it's possible that you look like a creeper. lol. That's probably why they ignore you or turn their heads away. You shouldn't be so concentrated on wanting to find a girl. It makes you look so needy. Also, try not to be so forward with you conversation. Just hold her gaze for a while. She might speak up if she's into you to, if not, THEN make conversation first. I hope I'm making sense somewhat. Lemme know. ^_^

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    • Yeah your making sense, I don't think I am creeping, I catch them looking so I smile back. But what is the answer here? If I don't smile back or don't start the convo then I might be missing out, but if I do the opposite then I end up looking like I am needy. I can't win really can I? In my experience woman NEVER speak up when they like a guy, they go all shy.

    • Look at it this way, every girl that you like won't necessarily like you. And you probably look needy because you are. If a girl likes you, she'll still like you after you start talking. Just be patient.

    • HAHA..ok maybe I am acting like a needy jerk. I will give your advice a go...thanks

What Guys Said 2

  • your doing great just by talking to these girls, most guys won't even do that. It's a bit of a numbers game with girls but something I recommend is having a good happy attitude, being happy and open yourself. Women are intuitive and you will notice when you are in a good mood people will open up to you more. But yeah, it's a numbers game especially for a cold approach

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    • Thanks man...appreciate your answer..

  • The odds of meeting your next girlfriend on a train or bus or other public venue are just not good, regardless of how hot you are. Most women are, for very good reason, wary of strangers.

    Everyone looks at other people. It doesn't cost anything, there's zero commitment and it beats looking at the floor or out the window. And I agree that women can sense desperation, which might be the signal you're sending if you expect instant romance and intrigue with a stranger.

    You're obviously on the hunt for a GF, so you should try to meet women where they are already in a social mood. Bars, clubs and parties are typical places to meet women. But I also think it's great if you already have something in common with a girl - so join a club or group that is involved with something you like (co-ed softball, theater, a booster club for a sports team).

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