It seems like his cousin is his girlfriend and not me? Should I be upset?

Ive been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months and I love him his really sweet but his girl cousin moved to the same city and it seems like she's his girlfriend. we live 45 minutes away from each other he always came to see me three times a week. (I own a business and its hard for me to go see him) Now he only comes on Sunday and I love being with him. we text everyday and he tells me he loves me and that I'm all the happiness that he needs and that he misses me so much. things that bug me :

~ he called me to tell me his cousin had her period and what mediation I recommended. (do you girls inform your cousin when you have your period?)

~ had a speacial dinner planned out and he brought her along

~ he takes her shopping and buys her stuff this includes underwear etc..( she's 24 years and no job)

~he called me last night to say he was coming to see me and he never showed up his hanging out with his cousin

~ he promised me a new phone since mine had a accident because of him and then he ends up buying her a expensive phone instead of me.

should I be upset or I'm I being selfish it kills me that when were together she'll call him to find out when his coming home. They live right next door to each other they see each other everyday I don't understand way he can't come see me like he promised. I feel like a new toy came along and the old toys is put away. she's been here for three weeks and before he would never bring his roommate when he came to see me and now he brings his cousin. This pisses me off I'm not sure if she's doing this on purpose just to end our relationship but she's always asking for money from him and her dad . she's 24 and she doesn't have a job. my boyfriend works hard so he can go to college and help his mom and sister out . can someone help me out?

  • Yes you should be upset
    89% (16)70% (7)82% (23)Vote
  • No you shouldn't be there family
    11% (2)30% (3)18% (5)Vote
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Updates:
well we talked last night and he said he would come see me today and we would talk. This morning he said I was right and he would see me tonight . asked me if I wanted anything from were he lived and I asked me to bring me some mexican bread and he text me back saying he would bring it tomorow because he went on a road trip with his cousin. what the heck !

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can entirely understand why you are upset. You should try and speak to him next time you are alone and explain to him how he is making you feel, especially on him bringing his cousin along when you two are meant to be spending time together as a couple. You could mention about him breaking his promises on certain things, but on the cell phone, I wouldn't mention how he bought his cousin one and not you. Same with the underwear. He can spend his money on who he likes. If you criticise him too much he might become defensive.

    Also, a relationship is two way. I know you said you own a business so cannot visit him at the beginning of a relationship it's quite easy to be heavily infatuated with another and make more effort to see the other person. Sometimes this may wear off, and he may decide he can't make as many trips before. Also, he may feel that he might be doing all the running by coming down to see you all the time and you do not go to visit him.

    I think the best thing to do is sit down and talk it all through. Good luck.

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    • Just seen your update. Wow, there are definitely issues. If he cannot even make the effort to come and talk to you despite problems I would seriously question his commitment to you. If you're brave enough, you might want to dump the guy. He seems to be on course to cause you heartache, so before you get hurt anymore, let him go.

What Guys Said 3

  • Tbh, I think you are right to be a little concerned, but at the same time you're kinda coming off as wanting this material thing or that material thing or whatnot. I mean, maybe his parents are ones who have instilled being so close to family or something? Maybe his cousin is having a hard life lately and so he's just trying to make her happy being a good family member. I dunno. Don't really know him.

    However, I do think think you have a right to bring it up to him and talk to him about it. But don't accuse him of anything, just show you're uncomfortable because he isn't keeping his word (getting you a new cell) and then kinda doting on his cousin so much. If he is really also supporting his mom and sister sounds like he's just trying to help his family in anyway which is a good thing.

    Though, on the off chance he's actually got something going with his cousin (or even mother/sister lol...) ewww...

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    • @update: ya... I think it's time you think about moving on. If this problem continues and he knows it's wrong and still does it? well... ya...

  • i actually misclicked said b instaid of a

    i think you can be upset about this he's being emotionally unfaithfull I think

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    • @ you're update lol

      he sais he knows he's wrong and then keeps doing it, all you can do is point out you're not happy with this its up to him to prove you're more important then her and imo he failed miserably.

  • Your boyfriend works hard so he can go to college but you want him to buy you a new phone when you have your own business?

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    • I feel like you ignored everything focused on that tidbit.

    • Wrong , I read it all but that part showed what kind of person she is maybe that's why his cousin doesn't want Her to be wih him not that the cousin is any better but she doesn't have a job, also if you aren't too busy to have him come see you how are you to busy to come see him? More like you are cheap with the money you do have

What Girls Said 4

  • My boyfriend is the same exact way
    He has a female cousin who seems like she is his girlfriend and I'm nobody. He asked me if I wanted to go to a concert I replied no at first then he said come with me it will be fun so I said okay a week later he said to me look I brought the tickets. He asked if I wanted to go pick up his cousin I didn't want to but went anyway he made me get out and go to the back seat so she can sit next to him then told her how he brought their tickets I was furious. The same day I was telling him I was hungry he said I don't have that much money. She asked if he could drop her off a few blocks before her house so she could eat he said to her if you told me I would have brought you something. At parties if she is there he doesn't bother with me at all and leaves me by myself. Every time I try to explain how I feel he gets mad and calls me stupid and such because she is his cousin. It's great to see I'm not the only one who has this problem what should I do though?

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    • Lol I can't believe this shit actually happens what the hell

    • Oh wow... Both of you should dump these guys. Good grief. What's wrong with these guys?

    • An update on my problem we broke up I called him yesterday and told him to make a decision between his cousin or me he sighed and hung up and I haven't heard from him so I told him today that it is over between us because he is obviously more in love with his cousin then me.

  • Yes, you have all the reason and more to be upset. I can understand that his cousin just recently moved into town and he wants to spend time with her but he shouldn't be doing so in a way that interferes with your relationship. I understand that in the first couple of months of dating, it might be a little hard to bring up things that are bothering you and hope that things will just die down. That doesn't usually happen on its own.

    You need to tell him that you feel that his cousin is interfering with your relationship and that certain things (such as bringing his cousin along for a romantic dinner and ditching you to spend time with her when he sees her everyday) are just not okay and quite frankly, disrepectful and inconsiderate. Tell him how it made you feel when he did those things and tell him that it hurts you and he's making it seem as if she's more important.

    Hope this is somewhat helpful, the best of luck <3

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  • Take @wkwan81 and @TheGodEmperorLeto advice and leave him. He had a chance to redeem himself and failed miserably. I would be more then pissed if he texted me that bull crap!

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  • Just putting this out there: Is it POSSIBLE that this girl isn't actually his cousin?

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