Am I being played or is he really confused and I need to give it more time?

[Anonymous]

Alright so this guy and I dated for 6 years, he proposed and we became engaged and then two months before the wedding he left me. I am deeply in love with him. He said that we were fighting all the time and the wedding freaked him out and he wasn't ready, but that he never stopped loving me. It's been 5 months. So recently we have been seeing each other once a week...we have gone to the movies, dinner, hung out at his place...I stay the night, and he treats me like a girlfriend...but refuses to put a title on it...he just says "I don't know" and his entire family tells me that he is confused about EVERYTHING! So I'm basically a "maybe."



So my first question is...am I being played or is he really confused and I need to give it more time?



Then to add...his ex, who lives in another city came into town to visit and they have been spending A LOT of time together...I get one day she gets like three! Keep in mind that they have been friends all their lives...literally...he was born a couple years after her and their father's are best friend. Before they started dating they would hang out...but I was usually there or thought nothing of it...but now they are hanging out and going to the movies, she is over at his place...and it's really bugging me. They never had sex while dating (they only went out for a month and she dumped him) They've been apart for four months. He says that she has a boyfriend and that I have nothing to worry about...and that they promised each other that they would always be friends no matter what. . .but I still wonder.



So my second question is...should I be worried? Is it just me? Is this normal?

[Simple-Simonette]

What's not normal is him stringing you along.

I understand that being in a long term relationship can make two people reluctant to part ways once it's over, but let's think about this pseudo-relationship objectively. He loves you, but not enough to want to spend more time with you. He wants to be with you ... just once a week. He has a women friend that he spends more time with, even though he "loves" you.

I honestly don't think his true intentions are to hurt you, but looking at your situation from the outside, it just sounds like he's keeping you around until something better comes along. Maybe he's afraid to commit totally either way - being completely single or being completely with you. Whatever his problem is, all it's doing is keeping you tied down to a ghost of a relationship in which there is no clear outcome. If he needs more time, he should be taking more time on his own. Otherwise he's keeping your hopes up for no reason other than he wants you to be there just in case he chooses you.

I know how hard it is to let go - especially of something you really, really want. You want a relationship with him, but at what price? That's up to you to decide.

As for his girl friend, you don't trust him. What does that tell you about how you truly feel about this whole situation?

Good luck.

[windyone]

To be honest I think you should move one. He is playing you...I read this book that said you know a man loves you if he Professes, Provides and protects all the P's at the same time. Profess means that he puts a title too you. I think he is just stringing you along and knows he isn't gonna marry you. Sorry but that's what I hear in what your saying and lets just say he is really confused...why would he be hanging out with this girl all crazy like that? Think about it don't let him play you to me if a man loves you he won't be confused and will put a title to you as his wife.

[Asker]

Well everyone was right. He texted me yesturday (ASS) that he still couldn't see us working out...and that he was sorry. So I guess it's all over now.

[windyone]

I am sorry to hear that. But you will be better off for it. At least you didn't marry him then find this out. Good Luck. Be strong!!!