Chatting up girls on the subway/bus?

Question

Girls, how would you feel about a guy chatting you up on the subway or bus? Lets assume he looks normal (in the city I'm in, public transport is primarily used by college students and young professionals, along with the blue-collar types, although this varies a lot by which line you're on) and not creepy and would be the type you'd be ok with flirting with in some other circumstance.

I'm asking because sometimes I'll see a girl who really strikes my fancy but I hold back because (a) we're trapped in the same area for a while and I think it'd be weird for her to not have an "out", (b) it's quite public, lots of random people are going to overhear any conversation so it's harder for people to open up, and (c) well it's the bus, not exactly romance central and I don't think this kind of thing is on most people's mind during their commute. (d) going from complete stranger to getting a phone # within 10 or 15 minutes is difficult in the best circumstances, let alone public transport.

On the other hand, people often complain that they can't find "the right" people because bars and such are usually frequented by the "wrong" types of people, but those places are also the only socially acceptable place to be really forward with trying to get phone #'s and such. And lots of regular people ride the bus, at least in my city.

So yeah, thoughts?

Crapshoot · Accepted Answer

Haha, I've done this before. The thing is that the setting doesn't really matter and you can use similar techniques that you use in the bar anywhere else. I find that approaching girls when not in a bar is actually easier than if you were in one. The reason is simple, there's a certain stigma attached to going to a club or bar and that's that people are going to be available. During monotonous everyday activity, this isn't really expected so the surprise factor is working to your advantage. Because this doesn't normally happen in such a setting she'll be more responsive to it (if she finds you attractive) simply because it was unexpected.

I secured one of my girlfriends using this method. While riding the bus I noticed her checking me out so right as she got off her stop as she was walking down the steps I ran to the front and as she got off I stood in between the door and the curb and said, 'excuse me, you dropped this.' I handed her a sheet of paper folded in half. I leaned back onto the bus and without hesitation the bus driver slammed the door shut between us and took off. 2 minutes later I got a text message on my phone saying, 'Very clever Romeo.' In retrospect, I actually think it was kind of hokey. What I liked about this method though and the reason it can work for any guy is that there was no chance of rejection and so building up to actually doing it was quite easy.

I tried this again but it didn't really go as planned. I again stood in between the door and the curb but I guess I was leaning out a little too far because the driver snapped the door shut on me and it kind of knocked me outside the bus. Her, standing right in front of me opened the sheet of paper and said, 'I have a boyfriend.' Slightly embarrassed at my lack of suaveness I had a good half hour to reflect on the whole mess before the next bus arrive to take me to my ACTUAL stop.

pointyourtoe · Accepted Answer

A while ago I was on the bus on my way home from work, my books and bag were on the seat next to me and this guy sat in the row behind me. He started talking to me about my math book and how it looked like a psych book even though it doesn't (it clearly says Calculus on the cover). It was cute how he tried so hard to find something to talk about even if it was kind of far out there, it got us talking about a lot of other stuff.

One way to give her something of an out is to sit behind her, this way she has to turn around to talk to you and she can always turn back around away from you if there's nowhere else she can go.

If you're both on public transit you've already likely got something in common and therefore something to start talking about.

That day on the bus traffic was really bad so we were on there a lot longer than we had expected but we had a lot longer to talk. I admit it did take me several minutes to turn all the way around to face him, but now I wish he had asked for my number.

Meeting on the bus/subway/whatever is likely to give you more things to talk about to break the ice than meeting in a bar anyway, so I would say go for it. She may give different cues to how she's feeling than if you were in a bar or club but you will find that just about no matter what different situation you are in, you just have to pay attention to her.

Good luck :)

awholenewsetofrules · Accepted Answer

When I was single I used to have guys pull over when I was walking to ask me for my number, lol. I wish I could say that only happened once! You'd be surprised what some guys will do! Or maybe being a guy yourself you WOULDN'T be surprised, lol.

Not sure how I would feel to be honest. I think I probably would be a little thrown off at first, but if I'm at all attracted to the guy I don't think the fact that he approached me on the subway/bus would bother me. You're right that it could be awkward for her not to have a way "out" if she's not into it but how long are you really on the bus/subway for anyway? And if she is really that bothered by it odds are good she's going to fake reaching her stop and get off anyway. You know "Oh wow, here's my stop!" and then catch the next bus or train to come by, lol.

heyitsme · Accepted Answer

um if I would normally be attracted to him, then it wouldn't be a problem really. I'd be a bit surprised at first that some random dude on the subway started talking but as long as you're one of those people that just make others feel at ease immediately, it would be fine. I don't know about the bus because when you take that, you can pull on the cable for the bus to stop at any time, right? That isn't so good. But in the subway, you know which stops come up after a certain amount of time so you can plan out your speech much better and you're not in danger of having the girl totally run off lol.

PM me and let me know how it works out! :)

annedy · Answer

i think I would find it romantic especially if I'm attracted to the guy. but if he seems all wrong (old, haggard looking) I would find it creepy.

it happened to me once. the drive was about 8 hours, as soon as the one sitting beside me left, he took her place. then we sort of talked a little and then he got my number. and he was really cute and nice to talk to so I didn't mind at all. we ended up texting after that.

i had a friend who met her husband through the bus. they sat together and he asked for her number. she just broke up with her boyfriend then so she said why not. and I know this might sound condescending but my friend was pretty, her husband was not. so when they were telling their story on their wedding day, people all thought it was romantic. they named their first child after the name of the bus .lol

lost-angel · Answer

I think it's sweet, and fun. However I do agree with (b). As much as I would like to flirt more, or talk with the guy, I would get all conscious about the people around us.

I would appreciate it if the guy tried talking to me a lil, and then waited till I got off the train, or bus to ask for my number and stuff. He could, step out with me, and then talk more, flirt.etc. Or if he wrote down his number and slipped it in my hand before I got off. etc. you know, all the smooth sweet moves. I would feel a lil more comfortable that way.

You could normally tell if the girl doesn't want to talk, or she's creeped out . She won't be too friendly, or look eager to listen.

irish-girl-08 · Answer

i wouldn't have a problem with it id be flattered and would think well that took guts coming up to me to chat me up on a bus I wouldn't have a problem as long as the fella wasnt a right weirdo

Anonymous · Answer

Go and talk with her matey lol

Chatting up girls on the subway/bus?

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