Ok so there's this girl at my work who we'll nickname Kate
here's some background info
-couple months ago she asked me out. I politely declined. she was a bit upset for about a week before "finding a new guy to chase"
-she used to say hi to me first and would listen and carry on any conversation I made with her
Now fast forward a few months...
when I talk to her she avoids eye contact, and doesn't talk to me first. I always have to intitiate conversation first.
The thing is she's like one of the nicest girls I know, she would NEVER do this on purpose to be mean or give off signs that she's not interested.
What intrigues me is when I ask her "whats with the ignoring and avoiding eye contact?" she smiles and looks away. as my friend described it's as if she's "in the middle of whether to be nice or mean"
i am planning on asking her out(after a change of heart) to get a definite answer on what she feels about me. but what do you think GaG?
- InterestedVote A
- Not interestedVote B
Most Helpful Guy
I'm in a slightly similar situation, and I've seen this behavior before as well. Not going to answer your poll at the moment, because it's really hard to say...but I want to give you one important bit of wisdom...
You should NEVER assume a girl is too nice to play mind games. So-called "nice girls" are never as nice as they seem. She very well could be doing this on purpose, and even if she isn't, it doesn't make a big difference.
In fact, I would assume that there's some kind of instinct in most females that causes them to act this way, and a girl "being nice" is when she's consciously defying that instinct.
Also, the fact that she immediately jumped to chasing a new guy means that she wasn't that serious about you. Admittedly, she does have some legitimate reason to be wary of you, because it sounds like you're still not entirely sure how you feel about her. Not that you should be!
Do you want to find out how nice she is? A simple test would be to leave her a note asking if she has time to get coffee with you on a particular day (where you suspect she'd have time). The reason I suggest leaving a note (or sending an email) rather than asking in person is that it gives her time to think of how she wants to respond. You're being nice to her by giving her the opportunity to come up with a lame excuse for saying no. Will she in turn be nice to you by being straight-forward?
I don't think you should go out of your way to suddenly prove yourself to her, or feel guilty for anything you've done. Everyone's pride gets a little hurt when they feel they've been rejected, but if you didn't do anything else wrong, and she now dislikes you because of that, then she's no where near as nice or mature as you think she is. If she is a nice person, she should take whatever olive branch you're willing to give her. You don't want to suddenly come off as desperate. Just play it casual, and let her know you're willing to give her a chance, if she'll give you a chance.1