Should I spill my heart out? If I don't do this I'm going to regret it!

My ex broke up with me as I had issues. He deeply loved me and despite being on the rebound with a girl he doesn't find attractive and has known for only four weeks I know he still feels something for me which is why he can barely look at me, struggles to speak to me and reminded me via phone that he always thought I was amazing. I'm frustrated and confused as I'm hanging by a thread swinging back and forth. He's got a lot of pride and us very stubborn. After 5 weeks on my own and changing aspects of myself I realize I still love him and desire to be with him. I have to tell him! I need to express my feelings and genuinely apologize for my wrong doing and tell him what I should have told him. I'm so nervous.

How do I go about this?

Should I spill my heart out?

Is it a good idea? (note: I don't want to live with regrets and thinking 'what if?') x


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should wait. If he is telling you that he he always thought you were amazing it could mean that either he really does think that or he is just trying to make you feel better despite being with another girl.

    If you tell him you must know that he is going to have a ton of leverage over you and know that you will be at his disposal, (I don't know the situation to the extent) but if doesn't want to be in a relationship its just going to drive him away even more.

    If the connection is still as strong as you say it is you two will get back together inevitability. All it would take is you seeing him in a social setting and it would be instantly on again. I can almost guarantee it (thats if he still wants to be in the relationship, but even then you keep feelings for your ex no matter what you just try and suppress those feelings). I assume you guys have a similar social circle because you were together so just go places that he goes and accidentally "bump" into him. The key here though is not to be blatant about it. If you guys have any sort of face to face conversation its very likely you guys will fall into a good vibe again and everything will be back to normal.


What Guys Said 6

  • Personally, I never respond to love-letters of this sort.. Sending it to him won't hamrm anything. So it's up to you, do you think you should message him or do you think you should not? Either way, forward is the best decision - because it's the people that stand behind you during the rough times that matter.

    A different suggestion would be to write out the letter, but to never give it to him.

    Other than that, I don't really have anything else to contribute; I'm sorry for your loss.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

  • NO REGRETS! Tell the man and if he feels the same then, let it grow from there. You have to tell the man. Pride will have you alone. Whatever issues you've dealt with on your own and if they're not going to get interrupt you two again, then love that man.

    • Thank you. I agree. I don't want to be kicking myself years down the line :| xx

  • yes. figure out what you will say first, then tell him.

    • K. I'm worried. Guys aren't one to really listen... Right haha

    • Show All
    • Exactly ha ha or interrupt. He's great at that x

    • tell him to let you finish

  • Don't spill your heat out just yet, tell him you have deeper feelings than he realizes, and that you 2 should start all over again.

    If you don't say anything, you will regret it, if you say something, no matter how it turns out, you will be thankful that you tried.

    What if he turns out to be your future husband? You could think back and say, what if I didn't say anything?

    • Thank you so much! Thanks for answering! My head is every where.

      I will tell him.

      Will the rebound affect much? (NOTE: he's very stubborn with lots of pride) I know though that his feelings for her, compared to me, are like a pin prick. We were passionate as hell.

      I've really changed, to the point where I see everything he did or said in a totally new light! I was wrong and he was right :(

      I need to tell him. Exactly, if I say nothing - I will kick myself. x

    • Then do this asap! Tell him to start all over, give you a 2nd shot, and if it doesn't work out then, so be it! Good luck!

    • so what happend?

  • Forgive me for not reading but I don't need to, If you're gonna regret it. DO IT. 'nuff said.


What Girls Said 11

  • I think that you should tell him because otherwise its just going to eat you up inside. There's no good way to tell him other than just straight up. Tell him everything without leaving anything left unsaid because otherwise there's a good idea you'll have what ifs but just keeping some things you're feeling to yourself. As for telling him, I think you should do it in person because you can tell his reactions better and it comes off more serious when someone does it face to face. You can message him or send him a letter but are you sure he'll get it and be the only one to read it? I don't think calling him would be a wise choice either. I think you need to just make plans to see him one day soon and tell him.

    • Thank you. I agree. It's more difficult face to face and I'm terrified but writing a letter etc. Is cowardly I suppose. Even if he flat out rejects me, at least I'll have closure and can officially attempt to move on :/ x

  • Follow your heart! G'Luck! =)

    • Thanks. Easier said than done especially because he's so stubborn :(

    • Show All
    • He initally broke it off, I pleaded to work it out, even cried at one point & he still wouldn't budge. So I wasn't going to sit there & look like a fool, I stopped contacting him, every few days he'd text me something short & Id respond like my happy go lucky self (even tho it was killin me inside) Then one day I needed help with something, so I texted him & asked him to call me when he could (this was just to see if he'd call lol) and he did & we ended up on the phone for a hour & the next day he

    • called again saying I kicked him out his he came back around and we are talking again...that was about a 2 week period. Its all about playin it "cool"...even though its hard! you can do it, how long has it been no contact?

  • I feel like this guy probably doesn't deserve you if he let you go like that and has ALREADY moved on, it's a bit quick if he legitimately had feelings for you.

    If you feel like you can't move on then knock yourself out, I just feel like you're better off without him.

    I think you can be strong enough to get over him.

    He may have been a part of your life to help sculpt you into being a better person, those things you realized you were doing wrong-maybe you changed them for someone new, and not him. He was just there to point them out. This guy wasn't willing to wait out for the change and last through the hard times, but only you know what is the right decision to be made here.


    • cowardly and annoying in all capital letters.

    • Everyone can get hurt in a relationship. There's always that risk. What's going to hurt more though? Telling him how I feel and being rejected or not telling him and loving with the possibility that he could have said yes. I reckon the latter x

    • I believe you should espress how deeply sorry you are and show that you are willing to except his desicion to move on if that's what he wanted. However I think you should also tell him that your feelings are still available If he decides otherwise. Men that are stubborn like options and don't want to be pushed into situations without it being on their own terms if he still loves you and can except your wrong doing and he will come back. I wouldn't spill my heart out unless the feelings are mutual

  • what do you have to lose?

    • I never thought of it like that x

    • uh huh :)

      but really...nothing! either way you would maybe never talk to him again so why not take the risk of it possibly ending up good! & you'd get it off your chest w/o the what ifs!

  • 5 weeks is not that much time fir self evolution id wait a few months at least, but I also depends on WHY he broke up, but remember e did break up so its sort of disrespecting his wishes I think to go and reinitiate, give him some space I think,

  • Oh my goodness, I remember this exact feeling, cover your eyes take a deep breath and tell him:-) You'll feel better that you've gotten it off your chest atleast!

    Bottled up emotions are bad for health, not a doctor but I know lol!

  • You better do it quicky :)

  • I would leave it be for awhile. Don't want to run him off completely. If he is that stuborn and pridefull especialy. When you do tell him, I would wait a month or so. Let him see you can survive on your own. Men get there hearts broken too and they take awhile to heal. If you have issues yourself deal with them before you talk. That way he does not have any certain control over you. Is he macho or pridefull? There is a differance

  • I was in this situation only a few weeks ago. If I were you I'd tell him that your sorry for what you did, and that you still like him and see where things go from there. But make sure you do it to his face, you always gain more respect by doing that.

    Good luck :) x

    • Thanks :D

      Did you tell him?

    • Yeeahh, I told him I still like him and stuff and he said he still liked me so now we're back together now, and stronger than ever! :D

  • If you choose to tell him, DO IT IN PERSON.