Girls don't like me because I am different?

Question

I am 20 years old and now I have been wondering what is going on? I never had a girlfriend but I have tried so many times and nothing works. I am not into boobs or anything perverted. I prefer a girls eyes before that. I would cook for a girl and treat her very well. Now I know most of you will say that I am a nice guy and that the bad boys get the girls but that is not true because it's like saying every married couple abuses their wife and their children. I am not fat or anything. Maybe I am just not meant to get a girlfriend because I don't have the looks? Should I accept being single forever?

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

I know how you feel, I am 20 too but all the bad guys keep coming after me trying to get me in their bed, I've let it happen a few times but never again because I just can't do it, I have no idea how they can go from one girl after the other, god knows what they might have, it's disgusting.

I have never had a boyfriend ether because guys think I'm too good to be true aswell because I would buy stuff for guys, cook for them (if I could properly of course, I can a bit, no I don't burn everyhting haha), id give them a big cuddle and kiss whenever I got the oppurtinity, give them masages and tell them I love them every single day and treat them well too. I've been on a few dates though but I am a bit shy too, takes a bit to warm up to someone but soon as they get indication that I'm a lovely girl they start thinking "uhoh something is wrong here, why is she acting too nice? what's the cache?" lol it makes me think how stupid it is to think that, hello? I am not too good to be true, I just take a bit of paitents is all lol. Were on the same page here, just let them know that they need to trust in you because without trust there is nothing there to build upon. I know there is so many bad people out there who take advantage and try to make you think it's a too good to be true deal but they miss out by treating people like too good to be true deals, were not contracts, I hate it myself really. I would go out on a date any time with you if I could because I would love a guy that treats me right and spoils me rotten hehe.

wildcat1989 · Accepted Answer

The reason that you don't have a girlfriend is because you concerned that you don't have a girlfriend. The fact that you are worried about this shows that there is a major insecurity present. To say girls are into bad boys is a huge generalization. Bad boys are typically confident, but there are plenty if not more regular guys that are just as confident. The number one thing that will drive a female away is insecurity and we are VERY good at picking up on insecurities within as little as five minutes of talking to you.

If you want to attract a girl, stop caring about not having one. Appreciate everything that you have now and realize how happy you are. When you just don't care and convince yourself that you can be happy with, or without a girl, confidence will grow and it will radiate out through your presence. You don't have to do ANYTHING, find that happiness within yourself and automatically everyone will notice.

It's almost like you will start to glow when you walk into the room, but no one will be able to figure out exactly what your doing different. Then before you know it, girls will be competing for your attention. Trust me.

Lavendel · Accepted Answer

You sound to good to be true..

I think you just haven't met "the one" yet. -And bad boys get one night stands, good guys get the girl in the end. Maybe the girls you have liked in the past have only been looking for short-term relationships, or are intimidated by your properness. 'Cause like I said, you sound to good to be true..

How you look really has nothing to say. Or, I mean, it's not the nr 1 priority. When a girl finally falls for you, she'll fall for your personality, 'cause that's what shines through.

So don't accept being single forever ;) Tons of girls are dying to meet someone like you. Waiting sucks, but it'll pay off in the end. At least if you're as good a person as you sound.

Brando · Accepted Answer

It sounds like you are playing up to girls way too much and trying to get them to like you. Axe this habit right now if you want to have any kind of interaction with a girl beyond her stepping over you.

"I am not into boobs or anything perverted"...there's one problem. You are holding yourself back from what you really want. You're a guy, guys are naturally attracted to boobs. Why are you forcing yourself not to look or like them? This "discipline" isn't a sign of being proper, it's a sign of people pleasing. Are you afraid that a girl will get mad if you admire her body? Let her get mad if she can't take a compliment.

You're a nice guy, as you've said. Don't go out of your way to label yourself as a nice guy. You are still trying to play up to an image of being prim and proper. And I'll ask again, Why? Why are you so concerned about not being like all other guys and liking what you like? If you like something, chase it. If you like a girl, go get her. Don't sit around thinking that aren't good looking enough, or aren't this or that. A girl isn't going to be interested in nursing your problems, so you have to overcome them on your own.

Reiki_Z · Accepted Answer

nope

frist you should always be positive about your looks

and maybe give a little to get some

being positive and pointing out that people look good is good for you

and if you are too nice in the beginning they will just assume that you are only one way

or you don't have shades or sides to you

stay mysterious when being with a girl

show her you have more to you then just being a good guy

i have the same problem

just stir it up a bit and I'm sure you can find a women

btw id recommend the art of seduction

its good for the psychology on how to make people fall for you

ZenQueen · Answer

first off, quit lying to yourself, "girls don't like me because I'm different". There's girls out there that like you, you're just not letting them get to know you. Let your guard down, be confident with your real self, every part you. You must love yourself, before someone can love you.

you say you are not into boobs? Well as a women, you expressing that is a turn-off. You should love boobs! They're beautiful, They are part of a women, It is part of what makes them unique. Of course you don't want to objectify her body. You prefer her eyes- What that means to me is you prefer a connection, over looks:) I believe girls that like "bad boys" (as in criminals or abusers) are girls who have issues themselves, the two attract each other. There is another type of "bad boy" who embraces himself and is honest, confident, blunt, someone that walks in a room and who's energy gets people's attention (rock stars, actors, artists). Girls are attracted to men who are confident! Work on your confidence! You must change your thinking, rather than being full a doubt, fill yourself with optimism, strength and good energy. good luck and embrace your life:-)

funny222 · Answer

Being single gets a really bad rap here in America. By the time you're forty, and not married or ever being married, people think something is wrong with you or you're gay. As if I had nothing else going on in my life up to this point to keep me busy otherwise.

Look, you're young. Things are going to happen in your life to change how you're thinking now, how you feel about women, etc. It's too soon to say "forever". Believe me.

And you mention you're not into boobs or anything perverted. Well, if you happen to get together with a girl who likes you and wants to go to bed with you, then she will hope you are into boobs because she might not like you avoiding contact with that part of her body. There's no shame in admitting it that you like a woman's breasts, and the rest of her.

Bella561 · Answer

personally I hate bad boys, or wanna be bad boys I don't know why girls prefer that you'll have to ask my sister but I jst really want to say keep lookin cause from you discription you sound like the perfect guy. my mom always says our life is like a bouncing ball you've got to hit the ground before you get up high oh nd if really can cook that's a big plus one of my best boyfrienfds wanted to a chef we dated for like 1 year and 6 months and we still talk he was really sweet

good luck I hope you get a girl real soon jst don't give up

HotPepper302 · Answer

It sounds like you're over-analyzing things. You're not THAT old... You probably just haven't found the right girl. I would suggest focusing on your relationship with yourself... Fix your weaknesses and play up your strong points... Find some new hobbies, or join clubs where you'll meet people with similar interests. Obviously physical attraction is an important part of any relationship, but different people are attracted to different things, so I'm sure that it has nothing to do with your looks. Just stop trying so hard (it makes you seem desperate). When a girl sees that a guy is independent, and happy with his life regardless of whether or not he's in a relationship, that's always a good thing.

Anonymous · Answer

"The Waiting", is the hardest part, everyday get one more yard- Tom Petty, check him out, but honestly I have been crazy about a guy that at first I did not find physically attractive, because I loved him for who he was, not what he was. That is what builds a long lasting relationship. If your reasons are purely superficial, what is powerful about it. Anyone can become hot to a girl with time to get to know who they are. My last boyfriend liked me for what I was, and a bit of who I was. I could never show him who I was for some reason, maybe because we we not meant to be. But I would never be happy with someone who loved what I was mostly, like with my last boyfriend of almost 2 years. I loved him but could not fall in love because I could not open up

Anonymous · Answer

What kind of guy isn't into sex? You're trying to tell me you NEVER have sexual fantasies and are perfectly happy with never having sex, ever? It almost sounds like you're being phony and just trying to tell girls what you think we wanna hear.  I don't know maybe it's because you may come off desperate? I think its fine to treat a girl like that if you really care about her, but if you barely know a girl all this "I wanna look deep into your eyes and cook for you" just comes across as creepy. You don't even know the girl to see if she deserves all that treatment.

Anonymous · Answer

You know what. Being different, you will end up with a perfect girl that suits you well. I'm not encouraging you or boosting your self esteem or anything but that is what I truly believe in. Nowadays, guys & girls are exactly the same. Guys bodies, girls bodies, style, make-up, etc... being different is a shame in our society while to many girls like me find it the ultimate beauty of uniqueness. So, in the end you'll find a girl who's special not a steroetypical one & I bet you want such girl :) It's just not easy to find, so you have the choice being with a sterotype or waiting for a special one.

allenwalker111 · Answer

Girls are actually dying to meet guys like you :) I'm serious!

not everyone likes bad boys... Personally I hate them and don't like them at all kuz they are players :P I like people like you from what you wrote about yourself and I'm sure others will do too.

NO ONE IS SINGLE. go and seize your own happiness. DO NOT WAIT. time is tooo precious and life is too short to be sad, so ya did you even try to ask them out lol? if they don't like you than just leave them and go down the list :P find fun like life! :)

Bradm01 · Answer

No/ there one out there for all of us..(I think).. I haven't ever had a Real Girlfriend..just a couple back in my younger school dayz...and never even got a kiss/ just a hug. I don't like to take advantage of girls either. I just want ONE to love and take care of. ONE that loves me for me..

so don't get down on yourself because there's alotta of us going through the same crap.

rhodedendron · Answer

Nope you shouldn't accept being single fo ever.Noone knows what the future holds, have a positive outlook. Maybe the problem is that you are trying to hard and giving off desperate vibes.Women can see through that. Stop thinking of getting a girlfriend and instead let a lady enjoy your company. Work on your self-esteem, they can't love you unless you love yourself first. Maybe join a nightclass, or do voluntary work to meet like minded women, but don't try so hard.The rightWomen will eventually like you for you, and relax you are only 20. You sound like a lovely person and eventually someone will see that x

husker23 · Answer

I am a girl and I have never had a boyfriend. 18 years old going on 19.  I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I don't think there is anything wrong with me. I think maybe I hold to high of standards.  Which I don't plan on lowering any time soon.

Gregs · Answer

it sounds to me like your too much of a nice guy. You see women want to be bent over and f***ed, and it's pretty hard to f*** someone when you are worried about moving your gaze below their neck line.

And what the hell does abuse have to do with anything? there is a huge leap from being having a bit of en edge to abusing someone, especially your kid, you don't have to be a complete nutcase to get girls but at the same time you can't be a boring nice guy either.

varsitycheer115 · Answer

Girls get tired of the bad boy act. The sweet guy act is WAY hotter (: I think every girl dreams of a guy like you...but you just haven't found the right one yet. Maybe you need to get your flirt on and put yourself out there. You sound like a great guy, if you went to my school I'd date you in a second! lol

jockjock · Answer

No you should not if a girl will not take you as you are then she done wanna a good man she most women like girl that are bad but when you try been nice sometime you get some where and now day you done I mean you just got give it time you find the right one women are gone to miss when there no more no guy around to treat them right the one that done cheat on them at home with them ever night and cook for them but no women do wanna to they like them guy that have been jail got a crime record all tattoo up and sh*t that ant real man cause at the end of the day he don't give a sh*t about you ...

BlackSuperman · Answer

You haven't even begun dating yet. You haven;t even met any girls that you will have success with. So many girls are just gonna havta learn the hard way about men... you are one of those who will make a girl very happy- don't ever change. as for those girls who won't date you.. eff them. they ain't worth your time anyways.

saragee27 · Answer

A girlfriend isn't going to just jump into your lap, you have to make an effort. Women like to be pursued.

sweetycakes · Answer

I THINK YOU WILL GET A GIRLFREIND BUT IN TIME.. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE  WHO WAIT ..YOU SOUND LIKE YOU DESERVE A REALLY GOOD GIRLFREIND

ilovenursing · Answer

that is a silly thing to think about yourself. you sound like an amazing guy! I would certainly date you. don't give up. you'll find your princess :)

BlackSuperman · Answer

nope... lots of guys start out like you do, 'different' as you call it... and become happy, healthy men with loving families...

PureXTC · Answer

You sound too needy and smothering. That's a real turn off.

Girls don't like me because I am different?

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