I'm not my boyfriend's physical preference, how am I supposed to feel about that?

I know he loves other things about me, but it makes it really hard to get into sex when I know he'd rather be screwing someone with bigger boobs, blond hair and blue eyes. Especially when he's so open about what kind of p*rn he watches and how much. Yes, I'm sure he thinks I'm "good enough" but I will NEVER be that attractive to him without surgery, and it sucks.

Do I need to know this stuff? Ugh.

Before anyone asks: Yes, he is my preference, so it's doubly frustrating.

Updates:
The follow up: I dumped him for a guy that's crazy about me and makes me feel like I'm worth something. No regrets. Let this to be a lesson to all the girls that could empathize.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What's his preference, and what are you?

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    • Typical blond hair, blue eyes, big boobs, big ass, long legs. I've got brown hair, brown eyes, ass and boobs are fine, but my legs are short.

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    • Well sheesh, maybe this website isn't my top priority. -_-U

    • You're implying that it is of mine? Pfft. I'm just saying the fact that you came on here awhile later giving the outcome.

What Guys Said 8

  • Don't assume he's superficial because he knows what he likes. He obviously likes you, even if he is a bit of a pig about other women.

    Sounds as though you have the pneumatic, plastic blondes beat - feel good about that.

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  • hes a dumbass first off who tells a girl what kinda p*rn they're into like come on this dudes obviously a pure douche and doesn't really appreciate you all that much and you should dump his dumbass lol

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  • It's not terribly charming, mature or nice to constantly remind you that he'd prefer a nother type. Everyone has their fnatasy person, but to throw that in the face of your Girlfriend of 4 years. Ugh.

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  • Your personality is so awesome that he has stopped caring about the physical reasons at all. Congrats, you helped him mature beyond the shallow and vain into something more and meaningful.

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    • Although, if he's still being a prick and bringing it up, I'd totally make fun of something like his penis size even if you have no problem with it in reality. Pain will help him learn how it's not nice to be a d*** like that.

  • I find it really really really disturbing and makes me angry your guy has acknowledged that you are not his type. He actually said he would prefer all that to you?

    I think you need to play the break up game.. It won't fix him for good but jeez. Since he tells you this he probably doesn't realize your a person. Honesty only goes so far till you tell someone there they are good enough..I think the proper feeling is 2 feel like they are 2 good for you mutually.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I am not so sure I could stay in a relationship if I felt that insecure about what my partner thought of me. You do have choices which include putting all this out of mind and just remember you can't be all that bad as he has apparantly decided he likes something about you.

    The other would be leave him if you are that disappointed with the way you think he is thinking.

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    • Good Luck and sounds like you found a nice guy this time. Glad you are happy and enjoying life with your new bf.

  • Look, you should NEVER feel not good enough for a guy. If he's with you, that's a good sign, If he's into p*rn, he's a normal guy, if he KNOWS that this bothers you...He's a DOUCHE and trying to make you feel bad.

    Tell him he can watch his p*rn, but he doesn't have to tell you WHAT he likes that YOU cannot be without (painful and UNNEEDED) surgery...

    I'm 5'4'' a FELLOW brunette (I kinda went blonde...but I don't feel as pretty now...cause it's...not me...the person in the mirror feels fake to me, I always expect to see brown hair...)

    Changing for him will only make you feel worse about yourself because that's accepting the (Totally false) assumption that you're not good enough

    Everyones equal, even though some people are A$$E$ :) Hope it helps.

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  • I've been here and here's how it turns out. His line was I'm attracted to blondes but date brunettes.My competitive nature won out and I did it and accomplished it in 21 days. Now it has been over 10 months and the guy has turned out to be a jealous freak and it is no longer about love but possession. I bleached my beautiful long chestnut hair platnium & dark blond, I gained 7 lbs to go from 34 B/C to 34 D and now I have a butt that pops out. I had to exercise all that new fat to muscle so I wasn't a fatty. Then I changed my makeup to be p*rn worthy too. I do have the blue eyes but would have been willing to wear colored contacts and for what everyone of his ex girlfriends were very overweight and /or not attractive but I did it. Now I'm always getting whisteld at and leered at and he is so insecure that it did not turn out the way I had thought it would be.

    We are still together because he has a ton of great qualities. Now he tells me if something can be taken the wrong way disregard it.It's just the ahole in him speaking and not to listen.

    P.s. I also did the penis thing regarding comments and now I have to reassure him all the time it's fine down there. :(

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  • buck up you don't like it don't screw him that is so incredibly rude any man ever made me feel that way I wouldn't let him touch or taste me ever again!

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    • He's my first boyfriend and it's been 4 years. It's not that simple...

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    • Thanks so much, I'm really thinking about it.

    • thats good.. enjoy the little things in life..

  • You should feel great. This guy thought you were so wonderful, that he didn't care if you didn't fit his usual type. Plus, we never know what really works for us until we try other things. Maybe he did prefer other types before, but now he realizes you are his type. This happens on the time, it just goes to show what we "want" is not always what we "need."

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    • That does make me feel better, it's just the fact that he will not EVER stop bringing it up. I just wish he'd try to make me feel better. :'(

      Thanks, though.

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