Why is he leaving marks on me all the time?

[Anonymous]

so I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month. its fantastic and we have fun. we're not boyfriend and girlfriend, at least we've never issued a title. we have been clear on our preference for monogamy and we've both stated that we're not involved with either people, nor are we the type to mess around behind someones back.

we've both been through that, and we're both a wee bit gun shy on commitment. its not the issue, I figure its working for us now, I don't need a title to confirm he's the guy I wanna be with, and I'm almost certain he feels the same.

so the first time we were physical, there was no sex but he get my shirt off. and there was some biting. I mentioned something about him leaving marks (I bruise easily) and he said that he was marking his territory. I kinda dug the alpha male vibe so it was no big deal.

I've realized every time we've been together since, he's left marks. either bite marks, or once from pinching. I told him I didn't mind as long as they were visible, but now he leaves them on the verge of visibility. like right along the line of a low cut top, or most recently right at the top of my back. if I wear my hair down you can't see it, if I put it up you can.

why does he does this? again, it doesn't bother me so much, I just want to comprehend why he does it where he does.

[DebiPie]

You should have a talk with your friend about this, and NOT in the bedroom. He obviously has not put your feelings ahead of his own, even after what you have told him you do not want him to do. This is a blatant disregard for your feelings & shows a lack of respect.

What he is actually doing with the biting, isn't "marking his territory," dogs do that by peeing on things, and he isn't peeing on you, is he? No! He's inflicting pain on you. Now, it isn't huge, terrible pain...not yet. But my guess is, he's working up to that. I think your little "non-official" boyfriend may have a bit of an S&M thing going here, & he's trying to slowly work you into it. This is typically how it starts.

Maybe not, but you never know. Talk to him. If you don't like it, tell him now. You need to control the situation & your body.

[Anonymous]

signs of protectiveness, aggressiveness... also of excitement. This is pretty common when you first start dating a person... once he gets more used to you he'll probably stop doing it so much. it does seem like a sign of almost marking your territory so to speak

[DebiPie]

This has NOTHING to do with "typical" or protectiveness. What are you thinking? lol

[skibunny]

He's marking his territory. It's a signal that lets other males know that you're not available to them.

[throdd]

screw that! Dump him. The sicko. No one will want you when he's done with you...if there's anything left. Looks like I mind more than you do

[Asker]

how is that sick? or leaving me with "nothing left". I get that its tacky, that's part of the reason I don't want them visible, but there's nothing wrong with liking things rough.

[throdd]

just creepy to me but if you like it yuk

[DebiPie]

I think he may mean if you get scars from this, which could happen. I have seen women who have been in this situation & it starts with this & ends with all kinds of stuff, like cigarette burns all over their legs, breasts & butt...scars..."nothing left." I think that might be it.

[Asker]

oh wow. I've seen females that have those too. he's nothing like that though, he'd never do anything with the intent of causing hurt. id walk away first

[ManaX]

Extreme but it sounds like the first few signs of an over possessive/abusive future spouse. Tell him to stop it all or leave him.

[Asker]

lol wow. no he's not abusive at all. once again, I don't mind the marks I'm just trying to figure out why guys leave them in almost visible places.

[ManaX]

He's possessive (its up to you whether that's good or bad), and wants everyone to know that your with someone.