Why do I hate my girlfriend but love her also?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

well I've just met a gorgeous amazing girl who I think the world of.I wouldn't say we're in love but I feel she's just amazing.

But same time I get these feelings that I hate her so much,I can't trust her and when I think she's lying to me I know I'm just gna go out there and cheat on her.

Its definitely me that's got the problem.Its happened before in relationships,I know what's gna happen.I'll assume she's lying I'll assume she's cheating,I'll go out cheat,break her heart get caught in the process and break my own and in the end up I'll be devastated?

Somebody please help!?!? I don't wanna hurt her,I don't wanna break her heart,I don't want mines broken,I know its not her that's the problem its me but I'd love if this relationship could work because she is a very special gorgeous amazing wonderful woman and all round the kindest human being on the planet.

what do I do? How can I stop this from happening?

Updates

+1 y

thanks for all the comments


really appreciated


i ended the relationship on Monday before it got anymore serious than it was getting,I feel terrible..I miss her.But I just know until I sort myself out I should not be in any kind of relationship wotsoever


I'm off travelling for a few years,maybe I'll get my act together and stop being a f***ing idiot basically in relationships

[queenofpeen]

I think what this comes down to is you needing to recognize that your train of thought is irrational.

Why do you not trust her? Have you been lied to and cheated on before? If so, you need to realize that she's not the same as those other girls. She's a completely different person, so it doesn't make any sense to be paranoid. Don't let other girls ruin love for you.

If you HAVEN'T been lied to or cheated on before, I think you're projecting your own unfaithfulness onto her. Your urges to cheat make you think SHE has those same urges. Hating her to avoid hating yourself isn't the solution. It seems like you've already acknowledged that you're pretty messed up, so the next step is to keep analyzing yourself and catch yourself having irrational thoughts and replace them with rational ones.

Also, even if she was doing any of those things, why would that be an excuse to cheat on her? I never understand why people react to being treated badly by cheating instead of just leaving the person.

Anyway, you said it yourself, she's a special, kind woman. So do you really think she's the type to hurt someone? To be honest, I think you should work on yourself a lot before you drag another girl into your life and hurt her.

[littlemissy25]

Sounds like you're jumping to conclusions about her cheating so you end up cheating on her instead. You should just talk to her about it and ask her what her views are about cheating in a relationship and see how she reacts. If she isn't giving you any clues that she's cheating that I wouldn't worry. Its just your paranoia and your own self destructive behavior. Maybe you should see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Its sad that the relationship had to end but if you did it because you want to sort yourself out then that's good. You wouldn't want to put someone through that kind of emotional trauma if you're having problems. As long as you explained it to her that way then I think she would have understood. Hope you get everything figured out.Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

By working on your insecurities and not using them as an excuse to cheat. Think about her and tell her what's going on with you, she doesn't need to be blindsided when the damage has already been done.

[floraben7721]

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[Eiffelgirl21]

Well, accept that it is you.

And, stop being so afraid of being hurt. Also, know that 2 wrongs do not make a right..So, even if you think she is cheating, do not try and get revenge..Just know that the truth will find it's way out eventually.

[hakuna_matata]

u are insecure from inside. you need to deal with this problem