My boyfriend said I should tone up?

i have a bit of a soft stomach if you will, and he poked me and was like, "you should go to the gym and tone up, haha, I like a tight tummy". and to tell you the truth, it kinda hurt my feelings. I'm not fat, but I'm not super skinny either. did he mean it like he is disgusted by how I look? :/


Most Helpful Girl

  • he's probably not disgusted if he's still with you and having sex with you. He'd probably just find you more attractive if you toned up.

    Is he built/in really good shape? If he's pudgy or flabby himself, he has no right to make those kind of demands to you, but if he takes care of his body he does have a bit more leeway to expect the same from his partner.

    • he's skinny, becasue he's just like that. he doesn't work out, and he has a sorta six pack becasue there is just no fat there to cover it haha.

    • in that case, he really has no right to critisize your body. If it's really bothering you, or he says something again, you should bring it up and tell him how you feel

    • thanks :)

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't think he's disgusted, but just saying that he'd ideally like you a bit firmer. You don't even have to go to the gym to tone your tummy. Just do a few situps every other day and you'll have a much flatter tum-tum in about a month or two. You'll probably like it, just as he will. :)

    • trust me, id love to have a flat stomach :P just getting told that kinda hurts lol

    • Show All
    • you're right, I do want him to be honest. I'm just self conscious, but yeah sit ups I can do and I have been going to the gym.

    • Good for you! I'm sure he'll appreciate the effort, as will you as the results come. Most likely he wasn't put off by your tummy, but every guy does fear that a girl will "let herself go" if she doesn't care about exercise. No guy wants to be with the "fat" girl. That's not to say a little tummy is "really fat", but we worry sometimes that you might not care enough to let it get beyond that point. Just keep eating right, get your sleep and exercising. You'll love your new toned abs. :)

  • Personally, I like a lil' bit of a tummy. The thought of cuddling up with a scarecrow isn't too appealing.

  • nope if he was disgusted then why is he still with you?

    he means in a nicer way that you could tone up a bit so you can look even hottER

  • You should ask him to pinch it rather than poke it


What Girls Said 7

  • very rude to say that to someone. he has no tact. why does he think he can say these type of things to you like that? is he perfect? I wouldn't be pleased if a guy talked to me like that. look how it made you feel. shouldn't good boyfriends make you feel better when your with them, not bad? he's a doucheee

  • Unless he's got the body of a greek god - he doesn't have much audacity to tell you what you got to do to in order to please him.

    Now if he works out himself and has it all going on there - I'm sure he's just suggesting it for both his attraction in you and health wise.

    Men are shallow when it comes to women and how they look.

    Every dude's fear, well moslty - is seeing his girlfriend slowly inflate and lose her luster.

  • I don't think he is in position to critcize your body.

  • What are you waiting for? Hit the gym.

  • What a boob.

    You should poke him in the chest and go, "hey wheres your six pack?


    I hate little doucheberries who just think their girlfriend/boyfriend isn't good enough, and always needs some work. Why can't people just be happy? ._.

  • Honestly, I don't know how ya'lls relationship is or what not. But let me tell you something about my past. I had a boyfriend who started touching my stomach and saying such things like that. And then it got a little more serious that he would stand with me in front of a mirror and point out everything that could be toned down. He also in the end, ended up hitting me, pushing me and slapping me across the face twice. Ripped my shirt threw my belongings in a mud puddle. You need to be on the look out for your best interest. Not saying that this will happen to you, I'm just saying that if he's with you he should love you for what you are and what you have. Shouldn't want to change you. Esp if he's right for you. Good luck.