Was my boyfriend justified when he choked me?

[Anonymous]

This event happened about two years ago, but it has been on my mind a lot recently. My ex boyfriend and I were sitting on a couch. He was sitting at one end and I was laying at the other. I was feeling playful so i just nudged him with my foot a little bit (it didn't hurt him at all, i was just tapping him). He said stop, but I did it again. He got more angry and after I did it one more time he got on top of me and choked me for about 5 seconds.

KEEP IN MIND he is 270 pound guy and I'm a 100 pound girl. It really scared me when he did this and it was a huge contributor to our break up. I know I should've stopped after he said stop the first few times, but did I deserve to get choked and was it really necessary? Was he justified?

[Anonymous]

When I was 19 years old.
Me and my boyfriend at the time were play fighting.
He said I was too slow with my hits because he would grab my arm every time.
So I playfully slapped him in the face.
I laughed and said, "Am I too slow now?"
He quickly started choking me and a man witnessed the whole thing and silently walked past.
I couldn't breathe.
He let go of me a few seconds later.
I was shocked.
He told me he blacked out and that he was sorry.
I left and I went home and I cried all day.

I debated with myself, "Should I take him back? or should I not?"
I watched my Mom being abused by my Father during childhood and I promised
myself, the first time a guy put his hands on me would be the last time.

I saw that he was genuine that he would never do it again.
So I went against my morals, and I took him back.
He never did put his hands on me after that day.

There's a very good chance your bf may never put his hands on you again.
You need to decide if it is worth that risk.

The fact of the matter,
many men say they are sorry for doing things like that but they aren't.
They are testing your reaction,
to see if they can get away with it next time.
That's when the abuse starts to escalate into something worse.

Don't be too quick to forgive him.
Take a few days away from him..or even weeks.
Really gather your thoughts and question things.

No one is ever justified for putting their hands on another.
Please see video below

www.worldstarhiphop.com/.../video.php

[SickPerv]

Interesting. You suspect that there may be an intelligence behind that sort of abuse. Could be. I'm skeptical. I think these abusive assholes are too stupid for that.

[kittykatg]

It doesn't matter size or gender. If someone physically attacks you then it is NOT OK, at all. He could've moved and told you to stop again. He could've left the house, gone on a walk or drive to calm himself down. That's what I have to do sometimes to not say something really mean. Domestic violence is never acceptable and no one is ever deserving of it.

[Depressed-Dude]

Definitely agree with this.

[kittykatg]

I hope you're doing well. Thanks for most helpful.

[EyeSeaYew]

Dang, I understand getting annoyed but a person who gets truly angered by being nudged is a plain old lunatic.

Talk about anger problems.

Good thing you're not with him anymore, sure did doge a bullet there.

[EyeSeaYew]

*dodge

[NoblesseOblige]

By tapping, do you mean kicking him in the balls? Otherwise, overreaction. Scary.

[Asker]

Nope. His arm.

[NoblesseOblige]

Scary...lol

[Unknown08]

I would think its cute but another asshole is born into the world.

[Janey123465]

No. Someone EVEN touching you isn't appropriate if its not wanted … so choking definitely isn't alright at all

[knotme]

Hell No! Was not justified. I hope you are careful with your next relationship

[Prof_Don]

No he's not justified...that's no way "equal force" in what he did!

[Anonymous]

No girl dump him, down the line it could get worse.

[andy020892]

wow...speechless. You better know the answer.

[RuinthyHeart]

That guy is surely a jerk. No, he's not.

[Anjellygirlyeah]

is this a real question?

[Anonymous]

No. His actions were unjustifiable.