How much touching between guy/girl friends is normal?

[Anonymous]

I'm just curious. How much touching is normal between guy and girl friends? I've a couple guy friends and we don't touch a lot, maybe a hug goodbye or a high five. I have been friends with this one guy for about 4 months and he is really touchy-feely. At first he wasn't, but gradually it changed. Recently he has wanted hugs and won't let go right away. He puts his head on my shoulder while we were lying down watching a movie or rubbing my shoulder. He pokes me in the stomach or touches my face/mouth. Another time he grabbed me from behind and told me to try to break fee. He always likes while we are talking to stick his hand out and for me to grab his hand and hold for a couple seconds. He rubbed my thigh, while watching a movie. I guess I am confused, is it normal for a friend to touch a friend like this a lot? Maybe its his way of being friendly, i've just never had guy friends that acted that way.

[faruine]

I'm pretty sure he likes you! The most contact i give to my guy friends would be like a high five, or a hug sometimes. Usually i'm just pushing them or giving them a punch on the arm when theyre being annoying.

[Asker]

Thats what I thought, I have never had a guy friend act that way. He is a little odd, I actually do like him in that way and he knows that. Since I told him I have just been trying to continue being friends with him because I told him at the wrong time and I haven't brought it up again. He confuses me with his touching, since I am thinking maybe its not just being friendly.

[lalalovee]

Woahh. Thighs are a hot spot. And waist is too in my opinion. He most definitely likes you more than a friend. I don't think guys would go that far unless they were interested in you... possibly sexually?

[Asker]

He is so odd because a little while ago I told him I liked him, but it was right before exams and therefore a bad time. I've just been trying to be friends with him even though I like him. I thought touching someones thigh is weird, especially if you are just friends. That doesn't seem like a normal area to touch.

[xCutesyLolitax]

Yes. :) My generation refers to them as "friends with benefits".

[Asker]

Thanks, I see what you are saying.

[PalmWave]

Talking from experience, I use to do that with my girl best friend. But that's because I actually liked her.

He most likely likes you or else he wouldn't get physical with you.

[Asker]

I see. I know that sometimes if you are friends for a really long time that you might be more touchy-feely with each other, but I have only known this guy for a couple months at most. Thanks!

[PalmWave]

Yeah he likes you. Do you have feelings for you?

[Asker]

Yeah I do have feelings for him and he is aware of them, but he has never said anything. I thought we were just trying to be friends, but I'm not so sure with all his touching what to think.

[PalmWave]

Just know that he's flirting. He also might be trying to find out your comfort zone on how touchy feely it can get between you two. The more, well the better for either one of you.

If you're okay with it just let him know where your thoughts are at. It might end up in cuddling or maybe more... sex. But just make sure to let him know where your stance is.

[Asker]

Thank you, I think I'll find out where we stand and I'm going tell him where I stand. Its good to know that it is most likely flirting, at least I know he is somewhat attracted to me. I would probably be more comfortable with him touching me more if I had an idea of how he feels because I don't want to push my feelings on him or assume he feels a certain way.

[PalmWave]

Yes don't ever assume the person feels the same way. He may want to touch you but it does not mean he has feelings for you.
It's important you two get to get to know each other better. That way you'll know what kind of mentality and ideas he has.

[Asker]

We have become pretty close because we were in this one class together and it started out with me helping him, most days we would be studying for hours for it. After awhile we started to get close and we ended up talking a lot and started to hang out a little bit outside of studying. I don't think I ever seen so many sides to a person before and I don't think I have ever studied/been with someone for as long as I was with him. Most days it was like five hours. I do know though that I want to continue getting to know him. I just don't get why he is so quiet about how he feels, I don't really understand why he doesn't just say if he would ever try going out or that he just wants to be friends. Right now I'm just trying to be his friend, but doesn't mean I'm not curious especially when he keeps being so touchy-feely. I realize that people have used him the past and he believes anyone who becomes his friend wants something from him. For example, this one guy he sorta became friends with

[Asker]

wanted him to drive him to this far away place and wait around while he was at a job interview then take him to the mva. My friend was also friends with this guy's girlfriend and she asked my friend to give her money to pay a bill. Granted these were not people he had known for a long time. He didn't end up helping them out, but was kinda pissed they expected him to help them without really knowing him that well. So, I'm trying to show him I don't want to use him but I really care about him. I gave him a 10 reasons why I liked him, but why other people should too. I don't think he always realizes that is a great person and has a lot to offer. Even though there are parts of him that aren't always the best, that doesn't mean that he is not worth being friends with. Anyways, thanks a lot for the advice. I didn't mean to write so much. I really appreciate someone listening.

[PalmWave]

Yes I listened haha. I think you know what you're doing, and it seems as if you're doing it right. Just curious How long have you known him? This depends on how comfortable he is around you to express himself. Sometimes actions are stronger than words, and by that I mean he may be trying to tell you he's grown on you and has feelings. He says he's pretty quiet about how he feels. It's possible he just doesn't know how to express his words.

Him getting more touchy feely is probably better than not being that way, because you also like him. Be friends and don't go into relationships cuz that just leads to commitment you may not be ready for.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'd rather not rush into a relationship. I've known him for around four or five months. For the longest time we thrown together because of our mutual class, but now we won't have that which should be good because studying/working together could sometimes get really stressful. Now we can just hangout without that pressure. It could be possible that my friend's feelings are changing a little bit. I found it kinda weird that the last two times we were hanging out, we were watching a couple tv shows/movies and he kept asking if I found the guys attractive. At point I just said that the one guy was pretty attractive and he told me that, that was weird. I told him I am a girl so its not that weird and then he went on to say I must not like him (my guy friend) because apparently he thought he looked like this creepy looking guy in the show. I told him he didn't look like that creepy looking guy and he wanted to know if he looked like the other. Maybe he is just curious about my taste in

[Asker]

guys, but he did it again when I hung out with him the following time. He is a little strange sometimes. I don't mind that he is more touchy-feely, but I think it would have been more of a problem if I didn't like him. I feel that is just becoming more comfortable expressing himself and telling me things, but I do notice that sometimes he hides his feelings/thoughts behind jokes/teasing. One time he said something that was suppose to be serious, but he was laughing and I thought he maybe joking and he wasn't.

[PalmWave]

There's one thing men suffer from in this world that's judgment. We always get judged on how creepy or hard were coming on. Always get judged from our success in life, how much money we make. Our society has put so much standards in males that it makes it pretty damn hard to pull away from the norm while still rockin it. So men just simply stick with status quo because it's safe. Where I'm going by saying this is he may be afraid he's already been judged by you, regardless of you liking him. Cuz a girl can like a guy and still find him creepy or find him a bit weird. Let me let the cat out of the bag by saying ALL men have a weird side to them. I'm not just talking about picking your buggers here by the way.

Your friend is testing the waters by hitting your walls to see if they will collapse. He wants to see how far he can go with this touchy feely.

[PalmWave]

You also mentioned he jokes about his feelings. Going back to the judgment topic. He may be trying to expose himself to you in a light manner so in case you flip out on one thing, he can take it straight back and say it was a joke, while in reality it's truth... well most likely.

Remember, Men say what they mean. Men are simple that way thank goodness. We like to make things easier for us. All the advice I can offer you is to continue to talk and make better friends with him. That way you can figure him out. Seems as if you're in the right track.

[Asker]

Thanks so much for the advice! I really appreciate it; I'm going to continue talking to and becoming better friends with him. Maybe he'll open up more and get more comfortable the more we talk and hang out.

[Anonymous]

I do that with a female friend but she knows I like her too.. but she will do things like touch my neck.. or we will put our arms around each others backs.

[Asker]

I see. Thanks!

[Opinion Owner]

It can play both ways at least the way you are doing it it's pretty level

[Asker]

That's what I was thinking, just sometimes it tips towards one direction more.

[Nxcrunr]

He likes you

[Asker]

Thanks!

[MinnyMinx]

He's hitting on you

[Asker]

Thanks!