I just got married in June... And my husband is a bit more controlling than I would like. How can I get him to be okay with me having male friends, talking to guys in general upsets him even if the nature of the conversation isn't flirtatious. We've been in huge fights, over my GAY best friend who was gay. I think it's jealousy and insecurity on his part, but her is 10 years older than me. But I don't want to divorce, I would like to get him to ease up.
Most Helpful Guy
As a former jealous boyfriend, I can tell you that he probably won't change until something major happens to where he sees what is really important. It took a breakup with a very special woman for me to realize my mistakes.
I used to get upset because my girlfriend had a lot of guy friends. She just naturally got along better with guys than girls. I couldn't grasp why she'd want to spend her time talking to them when we could be talking or doing something together. I didn't realize until after that I could TRUST her and that she wanted to spend time talking to them because they were her FRIENDS.
As much as he probably says he trusts you it really is a trust issue. My line was always that I trusted her, but I didn't trust the guys not to do try anything. While this is completely true, it's kind of bullsh*t. If I trusted her then I would know that she wasn't looking for more than friends and I could trust her to shoot them down if they tried anything.
The best advice I can give is to sit down with him and try to point the things out. I'm sure you've done this, but the other option isn't great. The other option is to straight up tell him you can't continue like this if he is going to try and control you. The second option is risky because he'll more than likely get really upset and hurt.2