He says he wants to see "what else is out there"?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I dated for 2 years, starting our last year of high school and ending after out first year of college. I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first everything pretty much. Things were amazing between us, we were truly in love.

After our first year of college, we started fighting about random things and then broke up for a while. I regretted it and told him I want him back, but he doesn't feel the same anymore.

He says he loves me, but he wants to 'see what he is missing' and that he owes it to himself as a man to date other people instead of being tied down with me forever. If he doesn't he thinks he'll regret it. At one point I was having these feelings too, so I do understand, but I let them go and decided that he was all I needed. Now he's having the same feelings.

I love this guy with all my heart. I know he's the one for me. How do I show him that I am the one and that he doesn't need to look anywhere else? Even if I am able to do so, will this come back to haunt us later? I want him in my life but I don't want him to feel like he's missing out.

Would it be okay to still talk to each other in a non-exclusive relationship?

Updates

+1 y

I love him enough that I am willing to "allow" him to be with me and see other girls at the same time. I say this only because I know him very well and I know that he's shy and doesn't really talk to girls. I was the one who initiated our relationship.

Updates

+1 y

On top of that, I know he doesn't even have time to date anyone else. My hope is that by doing so I can show he that I am the one he needs to be with and there is nothing better out there for him. Am I selling myself short?

[skycat]

That's really sad to hear about what you're going through. I personally would not stay with him while he's with, or wants to be with other girls, I have too much pride in myself for that, but if this is acceptable to you then by all means... good luck.

I think you're better off moving on until he changes his mind, you love him, I understand you love him dearly and he's an important part of your life, but you do not NEED him, just as he can be the one for you there will be others out there who may be different, but are also perfect for you. Show him, and yourself, that you are not dependent and you do not need him to be happy. You will find someone else, if not have fun dating different people till he (maybe, and maybe NEVER) smartens up. Don't waste your young life waiting around if he doesn't come back around to you.

If he is the one for you, would he treat you this way? would he have not come to his senses and realized you were the one for him, as you did when it came to him?

He says he'll regret it if he doesn't play the field and restricts himself to one woman. Would he regret that more than losing you? Seems to me he wants to be "free" and "experienced" more than he wants you. So let him free, completely, and let yourself free of this disrespect. Iif he loved you he'd want no other.

[Anonymous]

Horrible idea to "allow" him to be with you and see other girls. That's retarded. So basically he would hangout with you in the afternoon and have dinner with you- and then go out in the evening with another girl that he could potentially screw at the end of the night. That cries "I'm desperate". Just cut off communication with him as I said, let him find his way, and he will figure it out. You're selling yourself short by waiting around for him. Let him think you are wondering the same question yourself, and he'll make a 180.

[l-hedoniste]

LET. HIM. GO.

"he wants to 'see what he is missing' and that he owes it to himself as a man to date other people instead of being tied down with me forever"

How clear can he be? He's not saying you're a bad girlfriend. He just wants to see what's out there. Let him. Now's his chance, now's your chance.

"Would it be okay to still talk to each other in a non-exclusive relationship?"

Yes, yes! You betcha!

You already know what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

I have the EXACT same situation in reverse. My ex gf- I was her first everything and she wonders what else is out there. Yet, I am attractive and treat her great? I don't understand it. She's the one for me. I don't want anyone else, and probably never will. I am completely heartbroken. My advice is no communication, let him find his way, and once he sees what he had- he will be back.