Girls LOSE interest when a guy SHOWS interest; how to deal?
How can an inexperienced guy (i.e., inexperienced with flirting, dating, everything) strike the right balance between not showing enough interest v.s. showing too much?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
When a girl knows that you like her back then it's sort of a signal that she can kick back and relax because she got what she wanted. We love the hunt and once we realize that you're into us too then we feel more comfortable, start wearing the sweatshirts versus the revealing outfits and soon afterwards if you don't pursue us or make a move we'll get bored. We accomplished what we wanted to get done and now it's your turn; we got you hooked, you get to figure out what you want to do with the mutual attraction.
Hope that helped!
What Girls Said 7
hm, I think it makes so different how much interest you show..
if someone pulls out, they are not interested..if they don't then they are
just be yourself.. and don't suck up to her lol
just be your cool self.
Theres something very hot about a guy who is just himself, I makes me very curious about him and how his personality got that way because he is unique.
Hope that helps you out.
Lol I'm in a similar situation. Except I show interest when a guy loses interest. So the opposite of what you're going through.
I guess my only advice is to not come off as too needy or too distant. Don't call her too often, but at the same time call her often enough that she knows you're interested.
What Guys Said 5
Great question .I have had a lot of this happen to me , girl look like she likes me and turns cold the moment I show her I like her . When I back off she gets mad .And lose all interest in me.
I even had a girl tell me now that I know I can have you I am not interested any more , I know I can have you any time I want .( she even told me I was like a prize)
Reiterating what Element43 said, you need to have other interests.. Also date other girls, but be honest about it.
Also remember in relationships.. when it comes to emotional stuff, she takes the lead... you have to learn to read the signs, then proceed.
Its like you only approach girls that show you some form of interest, not just any girl.
Same goes for emotional stuff, you only do the lovie dovie stuff when you are SURE she you wants to.
As for the phone, I don't get chatting for endless hours on the phone when she is not your GF. It makes you look as if you are into her a lot and I find in most cases that's the quickest way into the "friend" zone...
i think its the thrill of the chase that some girls are into
but once she knows you are having feelings back, that thrill of
will he say hi? will he sit next to me? etc..
i know that happened to me WAY to much in high school.
but girls like that they tend to fall for the asshole
cuz the asshole never liked her as a person to begin with...
so he never show that deeper intrest in her which us nice guys do
which make her want to strive to so more interest in him
then she gets USED
ive see this so meny times
my advice to you is to talk to the girl your thinking of as natural as possible
just be yourself. and speak slowly... (fast talking show your nervous)
then when you are about to leave ask for a number and call her in a day or so.
and if she holds a conversation( is very well balanced) for a good 30-45 min I think its all good
then after a few times talking to her on the phone or in face to face (and you feel comfortable with her) ask her on a date saying it like this " you and I should go hangout and catch a movie one day what do you think"
she says "yeah that'd be awsome! when"
you say "how about friday?"
and so on.
i hope that helps
to sum it all up, the two of you have to balance it. neither one of you should dominate the showing of interest.
oh and if she start to lose intrest in you that could mean two thing
either she's shy
she's playing hard and is testing you to see how much you like her
or she's just not that into you... I think that was a movie execpt she's is he's
it might be a chick flick but I thought it was ok actually you should watch XD
Short phone conversations, don't see her every day, basically just have some interest other than her. When she goes out with the girls don't give her an inquisition about her night. Trust her. It's not that guys show too much interest. Some guys just jump into a girls space when she barely knows him.
When your around, her it's fine to show interest. Make the time with her quality and not quantity.