This guy ignores me but then looks at me all the time! What the heck?

[Anonymous]

I've suspected that this guy (high school age) has had a crush on me for a good solid year, at least. If i reach out to him in any way, I get no response. Email, adding him on facebook, notes - nothing. No response whatsoever. Which seems like total disinterest, rigt? I have only tried a couple of times.

Thing is, if he talks to me in person, he gets shy and nervous. If I am wihin 15 feet of him he visibly gets awkward, sometimes really smiley and other times super serious. Sometimes seems like he wants to talk to me but either can't or doesn't know what to say. If we make eye contact he looks away quickly. But the biggest thing is how much he looks at me, especially when i am seemingly not looking back at him. Its ridiculous. Over the course of an hour or 2, he will obviously glance at me 5, 6, 7 times. For no apparent reason. I am keeping to myself, doing nothing exciting, and he constantly looks at me. If he sees me walk in the room the first time, I often notice 2 or 3 looks in a row. Usually quick glances but once in a while they linger a moment. (I only count the number of times that are distinctly at me - its possible he glances more than that when he is further away)

But I do NOT understand what is going on with him. Over this year he has talked to me a total of twice. Both of those times occurring only when he is entirely alone. No friends, no parents nearby. One of hose times he sort of *had* to talk to me but the other was entirely his choice. But all that aside, WHY look at me every single time, multilple times, if you are not interested? I do not get this. Can anyone help give me some insight as to what on earth may be going on? Am i just misreading him? I dont know if I should ask him about it directly or give him space and see if he makes any more moves. It seems like he wants to avoid me, since he never talks to me, but then he keeps looking...

Updates

+1 y

Anyone else want to jump in on this one?

[SoWhAt249]

If he's anything like me, he is too shy to talk to you, and takes every chance to look at you, but tried to ignore you since he probably thinks you're too good for him or he just can collect enough courage to talk to you more often... If you like him, please go and talk about it openly, because I know how hard that can be... Initiate conversations in person (not on social media or stuff)...
If you don't, however, talk to him again and ask him if he likes you. If he does, at least tell him you are not interested so he can move on... I've been through hell when it comes to this... I'm a "keep it to myself" guy that is too afraid to share feelings...

[Asker]

What should i ask him? I was thinking about asking if i upset him or something, if there's a reason he seems to avoid me. If i just ask why he looks at me and doesn't talk to me, i feel like he would become self conscious of that, too. I dont want to scare him off - I actually would be open to getting to know him - but I just want to know whats going on with him.

[SoWhAt249]

Approach him like you need some help or something. Create a situation where he won't try to run away... And then compliment him like you're good or something, and after you've taken him deeper in a conversation, you can ask him anything. Why does he avoid you now, but look at you later or something... Ask him if he wants to hang out sometimes... If he actually likes you, he won't refuse the offer...

[Asker]

Thing is, I have zero reason to ever need to talk to him. he's on a sports team - he only reason we ever crossed paths is because my brother is also on the team. Im just there to watch. I try to tell him he played a good game or whatever but the players always have to hang around with their coach for SO LONG i never have the chance... hm... its a tricky situation and its nearly impossible to talk to him without his parents or teammates nearby.

Maybe this is why he doesn't talk to ME... (though if that were the case, you would think he would have added me on FB when i sent him a request.)

[SoWhAt249]

Well, see if you can pop up when he's alone and compliment him on something (like the sports thing)...

[Asker]

I will try... thanks :)

[Andruu4u]

This guy's is crushing over you soooo harrrrddd, he's probably just really shy

[Andruu4u]

If you two are alone, just give him a hug and see how he reacts

[Asker]

Even though he ignores me? Thats the part I dont understand. If he liked me, shouldn't he be happy if I reached out to him rather than ignoring it?

[Andruu4u]

Some guys are just super shy and insecure, he could ignore you if you gave him a hug because he liked it, just didn't know what to say

[Asker]

I have never had a chance to give him a hug, haha. I dont want to freak him out...

[Andruu4u]

Just doooooo itt. You gotta take some risks to find out most of the time. Heel probably like it though so just doooooo ittt

[WillowTree]

Waste of time. If you're reaching out and making yourself available to him and he's not even going to at least communicate, ignore him and move on. He missed his chance? Oh well.

[Prettyconfusednow]

Maybe you can send someone over to investigare wether he is into you or not, also ask your friends to look at him to confirm your suspicions otherwise it may be in your head

[Asker]

Others have noticed him looking at me, and apparentky smiling at me when im not looking. Im told you can see the glow in his face from across the room when he looks at me sometimes, but I dont really know what that looks like.

[Prettyconfusednow]

Make one las effort to give him a chance, if he doesn't take it just move on

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice :)

[SarahsSummer]

You should ask him directly. I'll bet he likes you but is terrified. If you ask, it may break the ice enough to get him talking to you.

[Asker]

What should I ask?

[SarahsSummer]

Make it something light like "hey, I see you keep looking at me, do I have gum in my hair or something, lol?

[Asker]

So if i just flat out ask if there's a reason he avoids me, is that too strong? Lol

[SarahsSummer]

No. As long as you don't come across as confrontational or argumentative. you want to use open ended questions. Ones that require more than one word (yes, no) answers.

[Asker]

I will. Thank you :)