When a guy says he wants to take things slow, does it mean anything else?

So me and this guy aren't officially talking yet but he calls me his girl to guys and his babe/love, we hangout a lot, but yet he starts flirting with more girls. Since he wants to take things slow, I'm not sure if that means he's not too interested or what? I don't want to be waiting around for him and then for him to become interested in someone else, I'd rather make it official and say were talking. I've fell into the problem of being screwed over,by waiting for this guy for a month or more and then him ending up back with his ex. I mean when I really like someone I don't really flirt that much with other guys and don't start talking to new people, but that what he's doing. So should I wait a little and go with it ? Meanwhile he flirts with a lot more girls and texts them all the time. The confusing part is that he told me he likes me and he knows I like him. So I don't know what to do,Advice please


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. I've told this to someone before actually. The main reason was simply because I felt that she might become too "clingy" if we took things to another level. I liked her, but I simply wasn't sure about committing to the relationship because of certain obstacles. So as hard as it was to throw her off of me and pass on her advances, there was a good reason behind it. I wasn't leading her on, we still were having fun, but it was better to make sure how I felt about her for her sake.

    2. I dated a really hot girl a few years back but before we dated, I was in your position. I wanted more than "friends with benefits" and she wanted to take things slow. What she actually meant was that she wanted to see what her other options were and go from there. I'm not advising this, but she was forced into making a decision one day after she found out that I was looking for a relationship elsewhere. Not really a good way to start a relationship in my opinion but it worked.

    You know him better than I do obviously. From my experience, he could be protecting your feelings or could be just selfish...you decide. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 5

  • ask his friends if he talks about you alot...those kinda questions. there's no harm in showing him you like him

  • In my past relationships, they have gone very fast. I am at the point now where I am going to slow the next one down on purpose, because I did not like how fast things ended up going. So it is entirely possible there is no hidden message. He is interested but wants to not rush into talking about your future 1 month after your first date.

  • If he says he wants to take it slow, then that's what he wants...

  • Id say he doesn't know what he wants! He probably does like you but maybe there's something that doesn't work for him with you. Id give him space and let him figure it out! I know I liked someone but she was just to shy for me and knew in the long run she wasn't the one. It did take me awhile to realize this.


What Girls Said 6

  • Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants, he wants his cake and wants to eat it too. I think you need to talk to him about everything before you get to deep into the situation and get hurt. Lay everything out on the table, and say this is how I'm feeling, don't scare him too , don't just start a conversation off with that, easy into it. IF he wants to take it slow then you guys are still commited in my book unless you guys havnt made that official. If he's going around telling his friends that you his girl then he's putting a claim on you and doesn't want anyone else talking to you like that, and I won't suggest talking to his friends, because before you know it then your gonna have a relationship between the 3 of you , where you go to find out everything your boyfriend is feeling or things , and his friend is gonna be caught in the middle, trust me I've been there before. Your guys relationship needs to stay between you too. If he really likes you and you guys talk about everything then it will work out, its still talking it slow on the relationship scale but I think that he is taking the turm talking it slow out of context, he's using that saying so he can talk to other girls. She flirting doesn't always mean that much but you never know. So just talk to him and see what happends. Good Luck :)

  • Maybe he's not looking for a completely serious relationship, doesn't want to rush into things... And he might not be flrting with the other girls. Maybe he's just being nice.

  • do you know his friends? you could ask one of them! maybe this guy don`t know what he feels for you or maybe he really likes you and don`t even realize that he is flirting with other girls, sometimes flirting is just fun but doesn`t mean something serious. you could try your best to be near him and finally get him if you really really want him and at the same time you can also have fun and flirt with others ...

    • I know a few of his friends, that's a good idea I'm gonna talk to one of his friends today. & true it could be just innocent flirting, I tend to overreact sometimes because of my past realationships. Thanks for the advice! :)

  • It sounds like he's just waiting for something better to come along, in his mind. Here's the deal, give him an ultimatum. Best thing in this situation is honesty, tell him you can't deal with his flirting with other girls, it's you or them. Maybe he just doesn't realize it bothers you, or doesn't realize what he's doing. Tell him you want to be exculsive, because that's what you want out of a relationship.

    • This is an interesting subject. I would agree with this answerer, but there is one really important detail that I think you should know. You're not asking him to get engaged, so if you want to go this route (to go with the ultimatum), make sure you don't bring down the hammer. Be sweet about it, even fun if you can. You don't want to come off as a really serious girl that is making him choose. No relationship should start that way.. Just tell him what you want and see if he goes for it.

  • there is really 2 ways to think about it. I know most guys don't mean it when they say that. guys are sexual beings and all they think aobut is food, sex and MAYBE hygine. but I also know that some guys are gental and kind and have been hurt by some chick in the past and are afraid to go too far too fast. if he's always around other chicks and he's telling you he wants to take it slow than tell him he's playing around and kick him to the kurb. but if he's faithful than go slow with him. it can have its advatages. give you guys time to get closer to each other so when he finally lets his berriers diow you know it was really worth it.

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