What do you think about eye contact? (not 'does she like me' Q)

[Anonymous]

I've always been confused when it comes to eye contact, both with other men and with women. I'm entirely capable of maintain eye contact, it's just that I'm unsure how others feel about it.

With other men, I tend to feel as if keeping eye contact implies the message that I'm threatening them, trying to start something. I'll give an example. I'd be sitting in the train, and just casually checking out my surroundings to be aware, and I'd notice some guy already turn to see me or already be looking at me. Either case, I usually just look at them for a couple seconds and turn away. I'll admit that this feels like I'm somehow weaker, I know in the end it's stupid but still, breaking eye contact first always has felt more 'defeat'-like than just being nonchalant about things. Guys, what do you think about eye contact with other men?

Similarly with women, my natural instinct is to look away to not give the impression of being a creep. This may have to do with confidence issues, but I just imagine the girl seeing me keep eye contact as some weird dude trying to creep on her or look incredibly menacing. Sort of get the feeling that girls would overall get annoyed so I just diverge my attention elsewhere first. I should say that I can't bring myself to smile, always more of a just indifferent expression, but that's because of a whole other issue. Girls, what do you think about this?

[LonelyLittleLady]

I remember looking up how to tell if a guy likes you, and it said that if a guy looks at you and then smiles, he likes you.

I think guys should do that. That would be so nice. Not an intimidating, angry/mischievous smile, but a soft one as if to say "Hey".

If I see a guy staring in my direction, I won't know what's on his mind.

I find that eye contact is a sign of comfort or esteem in a person, being affected by someone's presence or just by who they are.

If I talk to someone and they don't return eye contact,

I'll think something's wrong.

So don't avoid, don't overdo; be natural. Be casual!

[pikachuuu2]

Eye contact is important in interactions with people. You should maintain eye contact during a conversation for 3-5 seconds before breaking away and reestablishing it again. It shows you are interested and will foster trust and acceptance between you and the other person. As for random people on the train, who cares what they think? Just do what you are comfortable with.

[Asker]

What I'm comfortable with might be sending wrong message, hence why I ask.