Feels rejected?

[Anonymous]

I am very curious, what does a guy do when he feels rejected, discouraged and sad? Does he hides it, put up a front, or ?

[Iamrighturwrong]

Why do you need to know this? Are you planning on rejecting a man? Have you ever been rejected? How did it make you feel? You probably have not been rejected as men are pigs who will hit on or have sex with whatever they can get so yeah, you probably don't which is the problem I think women should be more desperate for affection then they would understand how it feels to be alone and unwanted but with all the rich scum out there willing to pay for sex and time and the women who worship their money the world will continue to become more and more messed up. Most guys will put up a front and say: "I don't need no bitches" like some retarded rap superstar. And ALL guys get sad if they really had feelings for the girl. I have lost a girl and for 5 years have been heartbroken because that person was my person, they were my other half and now I am screwed. I loved her so intensely and passionately and she hates me that is what hurts most of all, if you can just don't be a bitch about it and no one has to get hurt.

[Asker]

Dude, I know you're damn hurting right now and I don't blame you for being so harsh here, though I was really taken aback. The thing is, I am NOT planning to reject a man! Please don't get me wrong! The reason why I'm asking this is, bcos it all started from a huge misunderstanding between us and now he's e one treating me so coldy. You know how bad it hurts for me?? I think abt it everyday, what I did wrong and I even let down everything to assure him. I feel so pain and uninportant to him!

[5Alive]

It's her lost if she rejects me. It shows me she lacks good taste for rejecting me. That's my thoughts. Some may see this as being egotistical but so is the women that's rejecting cause she's assuming I'm not good enough for her. How I think of her also depends on how a woman rejects a guy. If she's truthful and says she's not interested, not attracted, etc. then I can respect that! She didn't waste my time and shows she has the courage to tell the truth. I give the person the opportunity to be truthful if she is not interested.Now if she lies ( excuses, fake numbers, or avoiding tactics, etc.) I have no respect for cowards who don't have the decency to just be sincere. I'm ambivalent about the situation cause I'm irritated with the lost of precious time but relieved that I didn't have to deal with a dishonest woman in a relationship. There's a lady out there for every man. And if a man doesn't find her than we came into this world alone and we die alone!

[toulouse]

I totally agree about the respect thing. it makes a huge difference when people waste your time. ^^

[deecbee]

The guys I've dealt with usually shut down completely. They just block you out of their life for a period of time and when they're over it, they are cold and distant. Not to be cliched, but I've never met a guy whose response was to "talk it out" and lay their feelings out on the table. They internalize it and stonewall, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

my guy firends tries to act all brav and cover up, act like it doesn't affect him at all

[Rita15]

lol wonder what's wrong with you. I have had a guy ask me what is wrong with me.

[toulouse]

Haha

[elpipe]

Personally I would say to myself, "f*** it" and get on with my life. Get involved with my hobbies and maybe start flirting with someone else. I would never call a friend and start crying, that would be pathetic imho. I keep my girl problems to myself.

But I read a news story about a guy who took his gun, went into a random yoga class, shot a bunch of women there and then killed himself. His diary revealed that he did it because he had been rejected all his life and finally had enough. So I guess we all deal with it in different ways.

[quantumdefender]

The guy your referring to is George Sodini:

https://www.halfsigma.com/2009/08/george-sodinis-diary-page.html

[elpipe]

Yeah, that's the guy. I couldn't remember his name. But that story go tattoed into my brain, someone should make a movie about it.

[Dan2287]

I pretty much lose all confidence I had, get depressed for a while (depends on how much I liked the woman), and become extremely discouraged. Takes 6-8 months to maybe consider trying again but even then its pretty hard. Tough though when you haven't had success to draw on.

Was reading previous answers and you mentioned you 'unintentionally' rejected someone. If that was to ever happen to me, I would feel even worse. I would then realize that she sees how much she hurt me and is now saying she likes me just to make me feel better. Its like saying 'Ok FINE, ill go out with you if you stop crying about it'. But that's me and how I'd feel

[Asker]

I don't wait to tell him I like him untill I know he felt the "un-intentional" rejection. I don't do that, because I really like him. Even before the talk, I already made known my feelings to him already. But that talk we had really led him thinking I was rejecting him.. but I only wanted to bring out an honest issue and be truthful towards him. cos I respect him. but he just took it the wrong way.. and I dk what to dooooo nowww :(

[toulouse]

You mean because if she REALLY liked you it would come naturally. she would not WANT to reject you ?intentional or unintentional?

"unintentionally' rejected someone. If that was to ever happen to me, I would feel even worse. I would then realize that she sees how much she hurt me and is now saying she likes me just to make me feel better. Its like saying 'Ok FINE, ill go out with you if you stop crying about it"

[Asker]

To : toulouse,

Seriously, you just copied and paste what Dan2287 said in his last closing paragraph. And what do you mean by, " You mean because if she REALLY liked you it would come naturally. she would not WANT to reject you ?intentional or unintentional? " I think what you've commented isn't constructive or understandable at all.

[lonelysadguy]

i keep it bottled up and sometimes feel like crying but it hurts too much to and I feel worthless and ugly cause I know the truth that I am. the third time I tried I almost was going to commit suicide but I couldent I also gave up on asking girls out and I never will again so now I just wait till a girl asks me out or wants me. I'm also shy and solitary and I never talk to anyone unless someone talks to me I walk around places like a theme park and at the time there all alone and no ones with me and I see a lot of girls around and I look at them and know that I'll never have one... I wonder what it will be like to be loved and wanted by something so beautiful "a girl" and also what will it be like for a girl to want / love me

[Asker]

Hey dude, I know how it's hard to pick yourself up again after rejections again and again. But I just want to tell you, that a negative mind & attitude towards life will never get you anywhere.. I wish you can start to appreciate yourself more everyday & love yourself more. You don't know this, but honestly, I felt that your comment was really genuiene and I think you have a nice heart! :) PLEASE don't give up.. There are people out there that WILL appreciate u. You just haven't gt to meet them yet.

[Brando]

Usually they'll withdraw from the girl and not talk to her anymore. This could be because he's just moving on, he's shamed/embarrassed, he's hurt, etc. If he isn't talking to you, then he's feeling one of these things and doesn't really want to associate with you.

[Asker]

May I know, if it is a misunderstanding, that the girl wasn't meant to reject him, but he took it wrongly... what should the girl do? The girl, me. I like him

[quantumdefender]

If the girl is interested in the guy after he feels rejected, she is gonna have to be the one to step up and mend the fence. if she is waiting for hm to give a sign...or do anything....she is in for a loooong wait, cause it won't happen

[Asker]

I have done my part in re-assuring him and cleared the misunderstanding.. Because I like and value him. however, he just seems really down.. I don't have any idea what to do anymore =(

[Brando]

Not only do you have to be the one that steps up, but you have to take into account that he's going to be confused. Even though you didn't mean it, he still took it as rejection. So you showing interest is going to throw him for a loop. You just need to clarify things with him and tell him the whole story.

How did you unintentionally reject him?

[Paullus]

I agree with the answer above me, best to have a nice talk with him about how the too of oyu feel and just let it out.

[Asker]

We come from very different backgrounds & religion. We were chatting one night, and touched on this topic.. and I told him honestly that if I were to be with him, it's gonna be a little hard.. cause of religion and parent's objection. But I merely wanted to be very transparent and frank with him. I hate hiding things from the person I like and respect very much. After that, he just got really sad, and down.. I re-assured him telling him it wasn't rejection that I'm trying to communicate at all...

[Brando]

That was probably what did it right there: discussed religion. That's not a good way to ease into getting to know a person, even if you felt like he should know. It's a very fine line to walk and the risk isn't worth it.

Just pull him aside somewhere and explain what you've told everyone on here and see where it goes from there.

[eSHkidd]

Well since I'm dealing with that now, my first instinct like everyone else is the cold shoulder to her and just avoid and forget about her. Maybe its a little different that we were together and she dumped me but still part of me wants to go back and get her, and I think I still will. But its still pretty painful, the days are alright I'm a little depressed, but at night I just lay in bed and feel like complete sh*t and think about what I couldve done better over and over

[Asker]

What if it's a misunderstanding? She did not mean in a way to reject you, but you took it as a rejection.. The girl (me) has re-assured him. But he still feels down and sad over this. WHAT SHOULD I DOOOOO :( we're meeting tmr, and I really feel nervous

[eSHkidd]

I can understand him still being a little sad. When you're together tomorrow just make sure you make him feel that you are still completely into him and that you're sorry you said the wrong thing.

[Asker]

Ok... thanks alot!! =)) I hope your side is ok..

[eSHkidd]

It's not. but don't worry about it

[Asker]

If you need some advice ot confused over some things you can ask =] Be strong..

[huntusa]

After rejection I prefer closing all ties with the girl. After rejecting me if a girl tries to be my friend or some sh*t like that then I might snap at her and tell her to p*ss off because once someone rejects me then I think that should be the end of any kind of friendship or relationship. Above all if I am not talking to the girl then I think girl should respect that too and lay off ,just the way I respected her decision to reject me.

[icemaster2340]

Depends. If it's just a random stranger I was hitting on, then I'll probably laugh it off. But if it was someone I actually liked, stay out of my way because I would be pretty depressed and maybe a little p*ssed, perhaps spoiling for a fight(I mean a real fight)

[Leeggg]

To be honest, can't say I ever really feel any of those things. Only times I feel sad are when people I'm close to die, and then those times I've just hung out by myself, play ps3 or just sit there and think or whatever. Hanging out with mates instantly removes it from your mind, but in the death case it kinda makes me feel guilty so I choose not to do that.

[ladiesman84]

When I feel rejected I would be best compared to a zombie. I express no emotion and in my mind I'm replaying several scenarios to see if it was possibly something I did wrong. I also start wondering if maybe I wasn't good enough for her. I would slowly in the back of my mind, encourage myself that she wasn't for me and to move on. Meanwhile, I would see many dark cloudy days until I'm myself again.

[Snugz]

First, I look at the situation. Then, I don't move on AT ALL until I accept it. Then I Take Responsibility for the situation and stop apologizing to myself and instead move my framework towards the inside instead of placing it on the outside. It is then, That by working on making myself a better person, that I can take my failure as nothing ore than a tool to learn from.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the guy. Society puts a lot of pressure on us to "take it like a man" and hold it in. I'm not saying that's bad...it's how it is. A guy who cries to everybody about his rejection is going to look weak.

I would tell a few close friends but stay tough elsewhere.

[RoboWonder]

Usually, I'll try and hold out until I can be alone. I usually don't want anyone to know that I'm upset, but I'll talk about it with my best friend, and she can usually help me feel better. Sometimes I just wait until I go to bed and then have a little pity party and maybe cry a little. It helps me feel better.

[Matthew988]

I need time for myself. At first I would absolutely hide it from everyone that's why I need some private time without company. Maybe I would tell later to my best friend, but that's maybe.

In the same night when I go to sleep, I think about our common history and why she rejected me (if she didn't told me the reason). I try to think about positive things I've learned from our relationship.

[alltheabove1212]

Mostly keep it to myself. But I did talk about it with some people. It does help to talk to someone else about it.

And I tried talking to the girl as friends like she said but apparently girls don't say what they mean:(

[Anonymous]

Hide it and put up a front if you're around people. Try and act like everything is normal and that it hasn't effected you if you see her in person. Make myself busy and find something that makes me happy to try and forget about the whole thing. Go away for a few days. etc etc.

[sinful1620]

If I feel rejected, I usually just leave. In terms of a girl I was interested in, I'll cold-shoulder her and not really talk to her anymore.

[SmoothBlue17]

True, very true... same here

[moaterboat]

Scratch my head and wonder what the hell is wrong with her.

[JaYce_Luff]

Lol love this answer ^-^

[hesaysim2sexy]

Maybe there is something wrong with the guy that's why she rejected him right??

[moaterboat]

No, nothing wrong with me. I'm pretty much amazing, some women just have bad taste I guess.

[noricat]

Usually if I'm rejected though I don't care too much, no point wasting feelings over someone who doesn't return them.

But rejected, discouraged and sad?

I keep it to myself and simply make some distance, disappear entirely if I'm hurting enough.

[Anonymous]

I have personally never been rejected but that is because I am very afraid of being rejected so I will avoid it at all costs. I have never asked a girl out for this reason. I could imagine that I would cry if I am rejected because I get my hopes up that I met a girl that liked me that I can be happy with another person and then I get shot down. That is sad and I might cry or just be sad.

[mike5150]

I just hide it when I'm out somewhere because nobody likes to see a grown man cry or act all emotional. If I'm at home alone then maybe.

[hesaysim2sexy]

It's not wrong for a grown man to cry. in fact, for me to see a man cry is bravery because he's not scared to let out his emotions. men are humans too you know. so cry it out f you have to

[mike5150]

I know it can be a sign of bravery but a lot of people see it as a sign of weakness as well. Since we where children we have been taught this way to not cry.There's also a very large misconception about what guys cry about as well. I have seen many answers on here that support that and that helps discourge myself from really ever crying in public.

[toulouse]

I don't cry either, I don't even like to cry in public... I missed the whole time period where women are supposed to cry . I've just always thought no one should be a baby about things, I mean have your feelings and deal with them , take al the time you ned, but why make a show about it.. I like to do constructive things with deep feelings- good or bad so its not just a waste and I don't get narcissistic :)