He loves me as well as his girlfriend. What do I do??

i know a guy from last more than 5 months. We study together and stay in the same hostel. We bonded well right from the beginning and spend more then 16-17 hrs a day together. He used to show a lot of affection and possessiveness. Slowly I started liking him but I never said anything 'coz he already has a girlfriend from 2 years who used to study with him. One day in impulse we made out. That time only I expressed my feelings for him and he also admitted that he had feelings for me. After that we made out 4 times and every time he used to feel bad for her girlfriend who stays in a city that is 3000km from our place. The remedy to all that what I suggested was that we stop being so close and stop spending so much time together but he said he doesn't want to loose me as a friend. I would have restricted myself but since his room is just opposite to mine avoiding him is very difficult. He is very possessive and doesn't let me talk with someone else. But at the same time when his girlfriend calls, he just forgets everything else which makes me feel very bad cos I love him so much now. He loves his girlfriend so much and they keep on sending gifts to each other regularly. On the same side he keeps on saying that he can't be mine because he already has a girlfriend yet again he cuddles me every now and then and also becomes very uncomfortable if somebody else in our class who has a crush on me, talks to me.

I love him so much. My life rt now revolves around him only. His cuddling me confuses me on the same side his love for his girlfriend makes me feel not so happy like earlier when we were just friends.

I will never ask him to leave his girlfriend rather I would like if he makes the decision on his own. Wearing the just friend tag is very difficult. what should I do? can I make him mine by any chance.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Why on earth would you reduce yourself to a guy with a girlfriend? Let alone a possessive one? That is a strong indication that he suffers form insecurity, and the fact that whoever you talk to you is none of his business. He doesn't respect you because he obviously doesn't respect his girlfriend. The fact for that on each end is that one, he's cuddling with you every other night and the other is that he sends his ex's gifts. They are pity gifts if you ask me. Mimicking his guiltiness and poor choices.

    As a woman it's natural to take the submissive role, but your giving this young man far too much control in your life. He doesn't deserve it, and neither do you. This may be hard to hear, but he is basically playing two women at the same time. Each one a fall back plan, in case one woman finally gives him the boot. In my opinion, I'd suggest you'd be the one to do so. Move out, find another place to live or do what it takes to prevent him from manipulating your feelings. If he's cheating on his girlfriend now, what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you?


What Guys Said 4

  • have a threesome.

    Nah, just give things some time. It'll work itself out.

  • if he still wants his girlfriend... he doens't love you he likes the attention and the way you make him feel he misses it from his girlfriends since she is far away if he really loved you he wouldn't be with his girlfriend and he wouldn't lie to her about it ... I think its in your best interest not to continue to cuddle or kiss him... and he's not willing to be your boyfriends but he tries to control if you talk to guys tahts not a good situation remember you are not his girlfriend... he should have no control over you at all

  • try to be in her shoes and think what or how she will feel if he left her, plus I'm sure theirs other single guys so you don't go through a drama ending with you're heart been broken in the long run.

    • Problem is you said "left her". Which makes no sense as he's in a relationship already.

What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly not to be rude, but I don't think that he will ever leave his girlfriend for you, for the simple fact he might see you as "weak". I only say that for 3 reasons. 1. Your lowering your standards for a guy that has a girlfriend and your okay with that. 2. You let him control your love life ex. You can't see anyone else, although he's dating. 3. You allow him to cuddle with you and do whatever else you might have done w/out any kind of commitment. In my eyes he's using you.. In his eye's you are probably just "ass on the side" something to f*** but not give much thought about being with.

  • let him have his time to figure it out. don't have sex with the guy. let him make it official who it is hewants to be with otherwise he's just playing you. possibly. so to take care of yourself, don't get too attached to him...yet

  • run away as fast as you can! I have been "you" and "her" before. its not good trust me. and karma will come and bite you SO hard! please take my advice. if he likes you that much he will break up with her. but in the mean time don't hang out with him, I mean in a more than friendly way. but even if he does break up with her he will probly do it to you one day. I'm speaking from experience. so please run away!

  • You look really stupid right now you should be ashamed of yourself. Don't you think you deserve to be truly happy? You are settling for being a side dish to the main event (his girlfriend). The guy is a complete asshole who doesn't deserve to have 2 girls at once. You're letting this guy degrade you and what are you getting out of it? You need to have some respect for yourself and get out of this situation. He does not like you, care about you, or even respect you. I feel sorry for his girlfriend because I'm sure she has no idea what's going on. Why would you even want someone who treats you like that? I'm sure he tells you things that make you feel good but that does not make up for the way he treats you in the big picture. WAKE UP YOU ARE GETTING PLAYED!