Girls, what would you do if your boyfriend later told you this about himself?

What would you do if your boyfriend told you very late in your relationship that he was traumatized as a child (up to this very day) from witnessing a woman being r@ped and a man being castrated (while conscious)?

I ask this since this is actually the case with me. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years already and she kept on asking me why I constantly feel uneasy watching graphing horror and thriller movies involving r@pe and castration. I constantly respond to her saying "nothing". When I was 9 years old, I used to live in a creepy and bad neighborhood with old homes along with a couple of violent sex offenders living in it. I remember taking a shortcut to my neighborhood after being at a friend's house, walking through a dark alley (leading me to my area). I make it to my neighborhood while still in my alley and then the next thing you know, I see a group of people in creepy masks/hoods ganging up on a couple, r@ping a woman while castrating a man with a switchblade, all covered in blood around their hands and forearms. I just was just standing their with a frightened look and in shock mode and then these group of masked people noticed me witnessing them and then took off running as fast as a I can. I ran back to my house feeling so traumatized. I couldn't comfortably sleep at all that day. D:

After all these years and being with my girlfriend for 3 years, I never told her that I was traumatized from this as I fear that I'll be looked as weak for showing any fear and traumatization that I've suffered mentally.

  • Do my best to comfort him and not make him feel ashamed to have fear.
    100% (63)
  • I would just stay quiet and leave him alone.
    0% (0)
  • I would dump him. Men shouldn't fear anything.
    0% (0)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm so sorry that it happened to you. If she has any other reaction than compassion then she isn't worth your time. I know it's hard to open up to people about trauma, it took a lot for me to tell my boyfriend about my childhood abuse. Don't let anyone pressure you into telling them anything before you're ready. You can start out by just saying you witnessed something terrible and that you don't wish to tell her about the details and if that goes well, then maybe you'll tell her more when you feel comfortable

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What Girls Said 14

  • Honestly if you actually have a keeper, she would want to comfort you about it and make sure you're happy and safe and loved for. A girl who you would want to keep and you know loves you til the ends of the earth would NEVER leave you for that. She would hold you close until the day you die about this. People who leave someone since they are traumatized aren't worth keeping or loving for that matter. Tell her about your traumatic past. She might be upset that you didn't tell her earlier if she's that type of person but after she gets over that she'll comfort you.

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  • You should tell her. You should not be forced to watch horror movies when this has happened to you and anybody decent would understand. Look at the feedback you got on this site.

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  • Its because everyone has a history and shouldn't be judged by it. Plus you're human so you're going to have feelings, I honestly believe whoever came up with guys shouldn't show weakness or any other feelings than strength is kinda stupid ;-; cause you're human you're aways going to have feelings (: and sorry my nails are done so I might be missing a few letters here and there

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  • I would never, ever make anybody feel bad or unwanted because they experienced that kind of horror and trauma in their life. I'd comfort him and then go to counseling WITH HIM to help him deal with the issue.

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  • I would be extremely understanding and want to help you, and want to make you feel safe and comfortable. This was a defining moment in your life that has affected you. everyone has things they have been through and things that has affected in them in one way or another. I'm sure she would try to comfort you, be there for you, try to help you. don't be ashamed. its normal to have something like that impact and affect you. I'm very sorry you had to witness that.
    god bless.

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  • how is that weak? That would be horrifying...

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  • "I would dump him. Men shouldn't fear anything."
    We all have fears. Men have feelings, too. But if someone (male or female) thought that way, they are assholes.
    I'm sorry that you saw what you saw as a child. No adult or child should witness that. If you need to talk to anybody, I'm right here. Best of luck to you =)

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  • Wow, that's wicked (not in the cool way). I wouldn't judge you. I would of been scared shirtless too. :'(

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  • What state was this in? I want to google this crime.

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  • You should have told her sooner so that she would have a better understanding of you but of course I've never been in that situation so i guess its not that easy to tell such kind of thing. Best if luck. Im sure she will comfort you.

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    • It's not helpful to tell someone who's been through something this bad that he should have told her sooner. I don't think you meant anything by it but I went through something too when i was little and whenever i try to tell anyone i get so anxious i feel like a float above my body and i tell me mouth to speak but no words come out. He's obviously very nervous about how she will react because of bullshit gender roles that make him feel like he's weak for having emotions, just go easy on him

  • That's not weak, any one would react the same way you do. I can relate to this to, my boyfriend has had some "things" happen to him, and so I help him as best I can and it doesn't matter that he's scared or worried about that stuff.

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  • You should tell her when you are comfortable. I know it takes a lot of guts to tell people some of your secrets, but if she cares for you, she will be by your side.

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  • I would hope that you told her before you just shared it on here?

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  • I would try to be comforting and understanding

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