Okay, I know you're probably like "wtf, girlfriend zone?" But this is something that has happened to me quite a few times, and I would really like to understand why.
Plenty of girls have probably experienced this same thing. You meet a guy, hang out, get to know them, and then it happens; they ask you out, when really you're only looking for a friend. Someone to have fun with, hang out with and talk to. So you inform them of this, in the nicest way possible, of course, but then... they're gone. This person that you once thought was your friend starts treating you like a pariah, or an acquaintance at the very best.
I feel that when a guy meets a girl, he immediately puts her into the "girlfriend" category, and then when it is discovered that she's really only looking for a friend, his ego is hurt and he immediately just drops her.
So, guys, when you're pissed off about being put into the "friend-zone", think about how us girls must be feeling.
And that, my friends, is the girlfriend zone. Thoughts? Concerns? Questions?
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, let me just say that you are probably relatively attractive, which increases the odds of this happening.
also, this is pretty much due to the way the male mind works and how our society views the roles of the gender. Men view the world through a much more sexual context. Our biological role is quantity. So every girl we meet our mind immediately sizes her up to see if she is a potential mate. When quantity is more or less wired into you sexual DNA, it makes sense that you'd consider any girl who you meet who is at least somewhat attractive. Your mind is basically telling you not to leave any rock upturned in a way.
That said, I also think there might be a social and practical element to this. Men know, that for the most part, we provide more utility to a women in a friendship than she does to us. A female friend requires more work and management then another male friend does. We have to defend her, protect her, lead her, fix things for her, provide emotional support, etc. Men on the other hand are just raised to be more self sufficient both physically, mentally, and emotionally. There is no social norm that says a guy needs to bend over backwards for another guy. That's not to say there aren't exception to this within both genders, but we're talking generalities.
The point, is we essentially men are obligated by society and biology to give women special treatment that we don't have to give to a guy. Women on the other hand provide very little non sexual utility to men, which when you think about it is apparent in the most primal level of our behavior and physical biology. Women's bodies have been designed for one major role and that's to bare and raise children. Men's bodies were made to provide utility (defense, labor, hunting, etc.). Given this, a women's "skills" aren't brought into play unless there is a relationship present. However, a man's "skills" can be tapped into outside of a relationship. As men progress through their teen years and early adult years, and interact with more women in their friend groups, they start to pick up on this. They subconsciously then start to avoid more so than men because they just simply take more work and provide less RIO so to speak.
So, this is pretty much why a guy will walk away once he knows that a relationship is not in the cards. It's like you walking into the store and telling the clerk you like that jacket on the rack, but don't have any money to pay for it.1
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Most Helpful Girl
It's just the way most guys are, they don't understand that there is value in female friendship without sex1