Why are men so superficial?

I am the type of young woman that gets checked out wherever she goes. But has soon has I put on my long coat (where you cannot see my figure) bandana and baseball cap no guy seems to notice me. I feel ugly and invisible. I do not do this by choice but rather to give my hair a rest from styling it everyday.

As soon has I take this cap off, and show a little figure guys notice me all over again. Some just want intercourse others want to take me out.

My question is, why are a lot of men so superficial? Why can't a guy notice a woman for a natural beauty, even if she is dressed down?

Why must I have nice hair, and very flattering clothes?

I even notice butter faces get this type of attention, has long has there is something men like that can be stared at.

Also, I notice I get called "ma'am" a lot when dressed down. Does this change in appearance make me appear older?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I really wouldn't consider it superficial. Men tend to be a bit more physical than women. Basically we tend to be drawn more to physical stimuli. When you dress up, you make yourself more noticeable. Men see this and they respond more to you because of it.

    If you want to call it superficial then can't we say the same for women who feel the need to dress up to be noticed? Of course we can, but we both know it's not always the case. Women too need to feel good about themselves and even the woman who isn't all girlie girl will doll up on occasion just so she can feel more feminine.

    Lets face it, we are drawn in if we like what you see. Most guys love a dolled up woman with a nice figure and nice hair. When you cover that up, all we see is another face in the crowd.

    Granted there are some guys who are indeed superficial, but it's manifested in different ways. Maybe when you're all dolled up some guys won't notice you at all because they feel you don't meet their standards. It's not that they don't find you attractive, perhaps just not attractive enough. You may be in the above average range all dolled up and thy are still looking for that perfect ten (even if they themselves don't rate higher than a four.)

    As far looking older when you dress down, I think that too is an individual judgment call. Perhaps some guys may see you as not feeling well, others may perceive you as appearing older. Guys are individual and all of them that see the same you may have their own perspective in regard to you appearance.


What Guys Said 27

  • Because the core of attraction is the evolutionary instinct to mate with fertile and healthy women.

    Sometimes there is no other interest, but even when there is, it sits on that base.

    If sexual attraction weren't the root of relationships everyone would be bisexual, because if you love the personality, surely you could find things that feel good.

  • Maybe your attitude changes when you are dressed up? You likely carry yourself differently that invites attention - vs. when you're bummed out you are not displaying an open body language.

    that being said...guys are visual creatures. We notice an attractive woman.

    • I actually carry myself the same way. It's just that I have too much covered up for the guy to find me appealing.

    • I'm saying you might think you carry yourself the same way, but subconsciously you are not. Just something to think about.

  • Superficial is not the word - one look pushes their allure buttons, be they aesthetic/artistic or sexual prospect/memories

  • I notice every girl that walks by me here on campus. Each girl holds her own sort of spot as to if I'd date her or not. But I'd say that about 7/10 or 8/10 girls I see I would date for the simple answer that regardless of what society thinks of them, I find them pretty and would give each one of them a solid chance, if I had even a shred of confidence to approach them. And a majority of these girls aren't perfect 10's or 9's or even 8's, they are all average girls who a dressed up the way they want to be. Sure I have my ideal date of a shorter brunette with size A-B breasts, but for the simple fact that every other girl I see who is different is interesting to me. All the shy ones stand out, and all the ones who look innocent stand out, and even sometimes both types are way more attractive than the 10's or 9's. Would I notice you in a coat and bandana? Absolutely, and I may never say anything, but I'll sure look at you with my lack of confidence and may even smile if I see the girl is looking down at the ground; I always strive to make someone's day a little brighter whenever I possibly can, yours included :).

  • Be glad you have the option to cover up and be left alone. I can get the same eye-grabbing attention from girls by throwing on revealing clothes and guess what, it can be annoying. If I want to go to the grocery store and grab something, the last thing I want is to be getting stared at constantly, or stalked, etc..

    As for the physical attraction, guess what, it's a part of the chemistry. People don't want to get involved with someone and find out the physical chemistry sucks. Think about it, if you met someone and got to know them dating-wise for 3 months and then found out they were unappealing to you physically wouldn't that suck?

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What Girls Said 4

  • Men are very visual and girls are very sensation-driven. That's why guys pay attention to how a girl looks, and girls pay attention to guys who make them feel good (emotonally, I mean). That's what I read in Cosmo, anyway hahaha.

    Anyway, I imagine this is why girls complain a lot about guys being shallow, and guys complain about having to do more to impress us ("all girls have to do is look good," etc).

    • umm so girls aren't visual? Why do I get checked out by girls then. stupid comment is stupid comment.

    • Show All
    • Obviously lol, but I don't see your point. Anyone can check out anyone, but the question was why guys seem to notice girls when they look good and ignore them when they look less good. It's because guys are more visual than girls. Not that girls aren't visual at all; just less so.

    • I don't necessarily agree but OK. Good looking girls want good looking guy and check out guys just as much as we check out girls. Girls just put a heavier weight on personality but with that being said I wouldn't date a hot but bitchy girl.

  • No, there are some few guys who would appreciate

    a girl's beauty and personality.

    At least, this is what I noticed in my college.

    I think those are the nice guys?

    Now of course if you wear revealing clothes, you would get the attentions of ALL kinds of guys.

    But I'm not the type who would wear revealing clothes to get their attention. I would just wear simple cute girlie clothes. This is the only way I think I can recognize those who aren't so superficial. Sometimes, I notice some guys smile at me, try to talk with me or ask me a question in some lesson (sometimes I know they know the answers lol), but I'm so clumsy when it comes to talking with guys in real life, that I would just end the conversation quickly, 'cause I get nervous and don't know what to say lol.

    • if they ask you a question, and you don't know what to say ,.. simply say .. '' I really haen't thought much about that .. what do you think? '' that way you make him feel important and knowledgable .. and then you can gather your thoughts and prepare for what's coming. Happy love life maam

    • LoL if it's just answering a question, I can do it.

      But sometimes t just feels awkward lol. xD

      But thanks for the advice. ^-^

  • All boys are perverts

  • because men are visual creatures. if your hair is not showing it is just plain UGLY!

    • The funny thing is, if I have no hair showing and I am wearing a cute outfit where they can see my figure (no long coat), I get hit on.

    • Show All
    • they are. to attract a man you have to look nice, that's just how the game works.

    • umm so girls aren't visual? Why do I get checked out by girls then. stupid comment is stupid comment.