Does that work on anyone haha? I don't think guys are too thrilled to hear that either. I just keep my voice level and speak calmly myself. Let it run its course, or if it's getting out of hand, suggest we cool off and talk about it then. Even if I'm not the one agitated, I'd say that. This is assuming he/she's not verbally abusing you or something.
Usually when a guy (or anyone) has told me to calm down when I'm in an argument with him/upset with him, it hasn't helped. I'm worked up for a reason, and telling me to "calm down" sounds kind of condescending and dismissive. The feelings don't magically disappear. I don't feel more relaxed, it's just more frustrating. If I'm in some sort of hysterical state and hyperventilating (which hasn't happened) then I can understand someone trying to talk me down, but otherwise it just makes you feel like the person isn't even listening to what you're saying. It's especially annoying if you're not even that upset and they're making it out like you are.
I guess it depends how you say it and in what context. If I'm venting or nervous/stressed for something and he's like "hey, calm down babe. It'll be fine.", that's more reassuring and helpful.
If I am really angry or panicking, then yes I would calm down. I always try to take people's advice when they point out I'm being "insane" and correct myself as soon as possible. Even if the person telling me to calm down is the person who made me angry in the first place.
I honestly don't understand people who don't even try this.
But if I am completely calm and not angry at all and the guy tells me to calm down, to get off the rag and then talk, if he tells me I'm obviously lying about being angry...
That's when I actually DO get angry and this gets really hard to suppress.
First, because I wouldn't lie to him about being angry or panicky, and being called a liar so persistently, angers me.
Second, telling me I am in a highly emotional state when I am really not is a way of dismissing anything I have to say, or anything I do. And that also irritates me, being treated like a moron.
With me, telling me to calm down does work. But only if it is an honest attempt to help me calm down (regardless of you being the one to cause my anger or not).
But it will not work if your "help" is just lying, or mischaracterisation in order to ridicule me.
Depends on the situation, and how he says it. If I'm worrying about something small, and he's like "aww calm down, I'm sure it'll be fine," I won't become offended or angry. Not sure if it would help since I worry a lot, but still haha. If I'm already calm and I'm trying to talk something out with him, and he says "geez, just calm down will you" it will definitely make me angry. My brother is very good at doing just that...
So, in other words, if he's genuinely trying to calm me down because he's concerned, it either won't affect me or I'll become calm. If he's telling me to calm down just to make me shut up, I'll become offended and angry.
It usually never worked when I tried it. I can actually understand why: the seriousness in the moment of stress seems be overlooked If you do this. But it depends on what it is, if she is really stressed and didn't even talk it worked but if it's a conversation; prepare for World War 3.
Depends what is happening in my opinion, sometimes if something has upset them asking them to calm down seems to work. Telling them to calm down when you've made them angry seems to make it worse...
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Haha, it depends on why I'm upset in the first place.. If I detect a condescending tone, I become furious. But if he's comforting me, like I'm crying or something and he's like "calm down babe.." Then yeah, I calm down and listen to what he has to say.
Totally depends on the scenario. If I'm venting about something and the person tells me to calm down it won't make me feel relaxed. It will make me feel like they're trying to tell me that I'm over reacting which I don't want to hear in the moment. If however I'm in a argument, the other person saying calm down can make me feel relaxed. But then he should relax as well. It can bring the heat from the argument down and just give me time to rethink.
Most of the time someone has told me to calm down, I really am hysterical at that point, haha! People don't usually tell me to calm down when I'm already calm.
I don't really get mad about the fact that they told me to calm down, but I do usually respond saying, "How can I calm down?" I've usually reached that point for a reason, so calming down probably won't happen until I walk away and spend a little time alone.
I will go ballistic if the person telling me to calm down is the one I'm angry at or if it's a stranger meddling in other people's business. Otherwise, I will calm down a bit.
I honestly think id probably just get more angry depending on what I was upset about. lol But it really depends on what it is I'm upset about in the first place.
Yeah don't tell them to calm down or relax when they are mad at you lol.
It depends on context. How he says it, tone of voice, body language all matter. So if he told me to calm down in a reassuring manner, with care then it probably would calm me down. But if he just barked it out like an order, it would make me mad.
I've seen this in a number of TV shows and movies myself. Interesting question.
It will make me hit the roof.
Opposite effect iam afraid.
I cannot stand being told to calm down!
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