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Start with 0 points.
Have you been with a hooker yourself? If yes, minus one point. If more than 10, minus four points
Has she used the money to (A) help her family or pay for her education, or (B) to feed a lifestyle beyond her means, or a drug habit? If A, subtract 2 points. If B, add 2 points.
How much mileage is her female anatomy showing? Good vaginal tone, nipples firmly seated in breast tissue, vs. loose or prolapsing pussy/vagina, nipples that sort of loosely hang there? If good, subtract 3 points. If bad, add 2...5 points depending how bad.
She sat you down and told you because... she feels you deserve to know: minus 2 points; ... she knows you will find out from a friend or someone because they know her: plus 2 points; ... because it is about to break national news for some reason: plus 5 points.
0 points or less: stay.
3 or fewer points: counseling.
More than 3 points: leave.
That's oversimplifying it obviously and possibly making light of your situation, but if I needed clarity in a bind like this, these are the things I would need to consider.
I'm known to be weird but if she's sat down and told me this albeit post marriage too, I think my respect and love for her is going to increase multifold :)
Where you are currently, I think for you I vote 'A' - better that cause if it were 'C' you won't be asking this question here :)
The girl has been honest even if after marriage, she's putting her trust in you, she chose you to settle down with, not all hookers are dishonest people or bad human beings and she isn't obviously (unless there is something we don't know here - but primafacie she seems to be a genuine girl).
If I were in your shoes it won't even faze me if she introduces me to someone someday or someone recognizes her and she mentions he was her client once. What she is now matters to me, that was her profession as good as any upon a time - maybe out of choice, maybe out of pressure :) But she's my girl now and I'll be proud of her all the while - well that's me :)
I understand how you feel to an extent. She probably should have told you before marriage, but you should also give her some credit that she told you at all. Coming out about something like that is really difficult. Over all if she is clean and she isn't in that lifestyle any more and you were happy with her before she told you, you should go home tell her sorry for flipping out so and ask her the questions you need answers to. If you still feel torn about it counseling could be a very good thing for you personally and for you together as a couple, and if she thinks it might help her in some way she should go talk to some one too. Talking to someone can solve almost any problem in so many cases. I hope it all works out for the best :)
Like someone else said, the past has no place for the present. You married her for the person she is now and not for who she was yesterday. Maybe talk to a therapist at first on your own just to deal with your own feelings. Too many people are not taking their marriage vows seriously anymore, don't be apart of the divorce rate. I am sure with a bit of help and time you can look past this. You need to slam shut and bolt lock those doors behind you and unlock the ones in front of you so you can continue living life with your wife.
I can sense the anger you have, its a pretty messed up situation and its even more messed up that she is now tellingyou, but you know her better than any of us do, and im sure there is a reason why you married her... just talk it out and only you will know if your marriage is worth saving
Opinion
17Opinion
The past is the past and frankly she's not a hooker now. If you can look past this then do it, but as this is probably a very hard thing for you to deal with I'd seek out a marriage counselor to help you work through it. There are so many explanations for why she did it and how it affected her after that the best thing is to probably talk through it with her and a professional.
I'd say divorcing her is definitely the wrong answer though, at least without knowing a lot more other than just that she was a hooker at one point in her life.
I'd do nothing. So what?
Does it really make any difference if she'd banged one man 600 times (that could be a 2 year monogamous relationship), or 600 men one time each?
I'd be judging her more on what she did with the money she earned. Did she use it responsibly?
You don't live in the past. You live in the present and the future. She'd rather be with you than any one of those 600 men. If she's got a clear bill of health, I don't see a problem.
I would suggest A and C but not divorce.
It would be a pity to break off with her , I believe both of you really love each other...
She should have told you before marriage but what done is done. Look at her positivr traits, and try to put your pride aside, people are angry because lack of honesty and pride are involved.
Damn. She should have told you about this before you two got married. You need to really sit down and think this one out. But at least she did tell you but still that's a big thing you know? If you think that it's worth it, go for counseling, you have to.
its tough case its in the past yet it is stuff that really should of been out there before you got married. it can often be best to forget about the past and look towards the future but at same time the past cannot always be forgotten entirely depending on what person did
I know one of my friend in similar situation. It will take a lot of time for u to overcome this. Infact u need many years. The worst thing is that now you will not trust her whenever she goes somewhere. U will always doubt her. The best part is that since she has admitted herself she will prove to be honest wife for you. But u need time... a lot of time.
Damn... does she have any STDs from all that sex? Ask her if she was forced into being a hooker and if she wasn't then Id say divorce but if she was forced into it then maybe their is a more psychological meaning to this and she may really look to you for a meaning relationship and should give her a chance then. But mainly all up to you man good luck.
The past has no place in the present. If you truly love her, then you will look past this, or at least try to get counselling..
There's nothing ethically wrong with being a sex worker, to be sure. Lying to you wasn't cool, but in a way it's understandable that she was afraid to tell you. You two obviously love one another so I suggest A and C.
She WAS a hooker... I know it's hard to deal with it, but if she loves you now and doesn't cheat on you everything should be fine
You're devastated? I'd be devastated she didn't tell me, not devastated she slept with that many. If a number bothers you that much I'd question how much you really love her.
Start with A.
Maybe don't have kids till you've figured this out.
Best of luck to both of you.
I would break it off.
Conveniently holding onto that bomb until after the marriage is not something I would put up with.
seek marriage counseling if that doesn't work divorce her. She should have told you before you got married
It was in her past. You either look past it or divorce her. If you love her enough to marry her then I'm sure you could look past it.
You just hit the jackpot. You know she will fuck and now you have an extra source of income for you and your future family. Also you can use some of the money to buy hooked on phonics.
You should seek marital counseling first before anything. Its your marriage but sometimes others know best.
Dam dude if i was in the same situation i guess how she brought it up and why she hadn't told me until now would be the questions on my mind.
I see STD written all over her, but she will be good in bed lol
That would be grounds for divorce in my opinion.
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