Black girl interested in white guys? (Please, no racist comments)

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Ok, so by the title you can guess I'm black. I grew up in the valley of California in a gated community with mostly white people. Growing up around white people made me feel more comfortable around them rather than black people. It pretty much played into my whole attraction to white guys, but it's hard to find white guys interested in black girls with all those stereotypes out there that I am not. And a lot of white guys who say they like black girls say they actually only like mixed girls which I am not. People say I dress, talk, and act "white" (which they mean as a compliment, but they should say I just act proper). You can be attracted to who you're attracted to. If you don't find black girls attractive, whatever, it's your preference. But are white guys (& other races) ashamed (I'd rather not use that word) of liking black girls because of stereotypes & being scared of being an interracial couple because of reactions or what? Is it some people's "guilty pleasure"? And what if the black girl defied the stereotypes of being "ghetto" & "uneducated"?

(P. S. I graduated high school with honors, I'm a California Scholarship Federation member for life, & I start college in the fall as a microbiology major, so I'm definitely not uneducated. I started playing the piano when I was about 4-years-old then later switched to the violin, which I've been playing for 8 years, & I also like musicals and all that. I don't listen to rap [not that listening to rap is a problem]. I've never gone a school year without taking some sort of advanced class [& that's not because of being around white people. I come from a family of doctors & business people].)

Also, I find people of other races attractive too.

I'm not "white-washed"... I'm just ME.

Updates

+1 y

I AM NOT A SELF HATER! I love being black & I have plenty of black friends. Don't go assuming that I hate being black, because you are 100% WRONG.

Updates

+1 y

FOR ALL THE FOOLS OUT THERE: I'm into other races too. I ask this question specifically about white guys & black girls because they are the least seen by me.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I used to believe that intimidation/embarrassment crap, but it's simply not true in all cases. If a man truly felt attraction he'd take the initiative somehow. Never chase a man period. Now I'm not saying don't give hints put if you are the only one approaching- baby girl the dude is not interested. White men generally are used to and most often only date white women. Yes, there are the ones who don't have a color barrier but those ones seem to be far and few in between. For some reason Black women and White Men have this weird shade between them. White men think black women wouldn't be interested in them ( racism, slavery days, tiny pink dick myth, angry black men), and Black women think white guys think they aren't interested in us either ( ghetto, loud, hair, ect...). Oh, and if you think they don't like you because you have a big booty or big breasts forget it. Have you noticed how many men of all races are putting Hispanic women on a pedestal and flocking to Brazil? It sure ain't for the landmarks if you catch my drift...

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

That Brazil statement is definitely true! Haha. I've always noticed that shade. I see so many black guys with white girls, but not the opposite. One day I'll find my guy.

[LunaJupiter]

I'm a black girl and i grew up in a bubble of rich white people. I even dated a white dude from school. And what you said was basically correct. It's like a shock bringing you home to their parents like oh she's black i wouldn't have guessed. It's mostly just ignorance. You got to watch out for some of these dudes because the ones who say "oh im not attracted to (some race)" ARE RACIST because they are putting everyone in one box as if they are all the same and connected to each other. And there are other men who you have to watch that would only date black women, or asian, or whatever race- because of their race. This is racism because they are fetishizing your race and you do not need that trust me. It's not that they are really ashamed it's just two really diffrent cultures coming together and some of the dudes are really not comfortable with that so they remain in their own little race bubble.

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

I understand what you mean. I don't want to be in a relationship where his family isn't okay with the person he cares for.

[SillyQuirks]

I think that you hit it spot on. When someone says they aren't attracted to black women I think that it is an arrogant statement derived from stereotypes. I know plenty of white men who find black women attractive. Just stay true to yourself and I am sure you will find a man that adores you for not just your beauty but your personality.

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Thank you. I really hope so too! :)

[rthomas43]

No guy will not date you because he's ashamed to date a black girl. Some guys like black girls, some don't. Simple as that.
I've dated black girls before and haven't had any issues from family or other people.

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Did you tell them she was black before she met your family or was it a surprise?

[rthomas43]

Didn't tell them until they met her. They were shocked, but only because my town is 4% black lol
My parents aren't racist in the slightest, so they never had an issue with it and were actually quite fond of her.

[rthomas43]

Thanks for MH :)

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

No problem! :)

[Anonymous]

just another question about black girl thirsty for white men to add to me collection
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1088926-why-are-young-black-women-not-older-than-30-hungry-for-a-white

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

You just want people to click on your link for more responses.

[Charnelle]

You sound like a thirsty bitter man. She's a young girl looking for answers not someone looking for attention to their useless post.

[cece97]

I'm black too and I grew up in a white neighborhood as well. Its just hard with all those stereotypes floating around in the air about black women especially. Educated black women who speak and act proper will be called white or acting white. All those "ghetto" and "stereotypical black women" are one of the reasons why most guys (mainly white guys) don't want to date a black girl. I'm not saying that that's the only reason and I know that your question was more focused on the male perspective but I could relate and understand where you were coming from

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Exactly! I hate it, but it's the world we live in. I like to hear both perspectives. I wish people wouldn't characterize talking proper with being white, but we can't change everyone.

[cece97]

That's true that's one of the few things that we can't control but let me tell you that there are men out there who find black women gorgeous and who don't judge by stereotypes it won't be easy to find those men but finding a good man is never easy I'm sure you'll find the right guy for you :)

[Camifunkyballet]

I know how you feel just fight for it dating inside my race is actually harder in south California there is more Mexicans and whites than black people and most of them are pretty stupid but every race here is kinda stupid down here its not a problem dating outside of your race heck i even dated an Asian he was pretty cool just keep on doing what you're doing dont let anyone stop you and awesome you're smart and love music me too!!!

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Thanks! There's got to be someone out there who'll accept me!

[Camifunkyballet]

Yes there is a person for everyone so they say

[Forca]

If you like White guys, you like white guys, and you'll find plenty of white guys who like black women.

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Maybe when I start college I'll find them. Thanks.

[Forca]

I like black women (providing they aren't like a certain female poster in this question) and I am sure you will find them, good luck to you. :)

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Wait, I'm confused about the poster part. Lmao. Not like me?

[Forca]

I wasn't referring to you just a certain female poster who goes into every thread about black women liking white men and spews her bile.

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

k...

[Rissie82391]

I like white guys and they tend to like me, but I'm white black and native so I don't know if it counts but Im like 40%

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

I guess it kind of depends which race you resemble more, but it's good to hear an opinion from someone mixed.

[Rissie82391]

www.facebook.com/photo.php here's a pic of me being stupid lol

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

I'm not able to see it.

[Rissie82391]

Lol privacy settings. Go look now :)

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

I still can't see it. Lmao.

[Rissie82391]

Sad lol whats your facebook?

[lordAlex818]

This is probably the question I've seen the most on GaG lol. Anyways, some white guys are attracted to black girls, some are not. I'm sure you could find statistics if you looked it up.

[PrettyBama]

Self hate is not cute lol

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Who said anything about self hate? I love being black. Don't go assuming.

[rthomas43]

How is anything she said evident of self hate?

[PrettyBama]

I used to be the same way so I'm not gonna chastise you for it. I'll instead try to point it out without sounding like in judging.

"People say I dress, talk, and act "white" (which they mean as a compliment, but they should say I just act proper)." How do you define who acts properly and who acts improperly? What's proper? Similar to white people?

There was a lot of respectability politics too. It sounded like you have a "I'm not like the other niggas mentality"'

Also self hate doesn't mean you hate yourself or you hate being black my dear. It simply means that 1. You put you're self above the black community 2. You put whites above the black community 3. You distance yourself from the black community.

[PrettyBama]

And let me say that I have no problem with interracial relationships. I've done it myself. I love him still. He calls me once a week lol I just dont think they should be sought after.

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

1. I put myself above the stereotypes, not communities.
2. By using "black community" the way you did, you made it seem like they all act like the stereotype.
3. It's not my fault I was raised where I was raised.
4. Feeling more comfortable around white people has nothing to do with superiority/inferiority.
5. I never said any race fully acts proper. It's the people who tell me I act white who are assuming that all white people act proper. By saying "proper" I'm eliminating the race factor from how they perceive me.
6. I have a "defy all the negative stereotypes so people don't see black people negatively" mentality.

[Onassi]

i agree 110% with prettybama. This whole question breaths self hate to me... mainly due to how flattered she was by the comment that the OP "acts white" White people don't have a monopoly, nor are they the inventors of acting with decency... so for you to take that as a compliment screams that you dislike being black, and its the main reason why you date interracially exclusively

[PrettyBama]

2. "By using "black community" the way you did, you made it seem like they all act like the stereotype." THEY? You mean WE? that's what I'm talking about lol a need to distance yourself from us.
3. "It's not my fault I was raised where I was raised." I wasn't raised in the hood but I do know that we are all on the same level and were all playing for the same team.
4. Feeling more comfortable around white people has nothing to do with superiority/inferiority." Your family is black so saying you feel comfortable around white people is ridiculous. You don't allow yourself to feel comfortable with black people (just like I was) if you actually take time to get to know black people who value their blackness you'll realize that they're more like you than you can imagine.
5. You said they said you act white and you exchanged that word eith proper. Meaning you think they're synonymous. I was the same way lol
6. Respectability politics. Who cares if they see us negatively or not?

[PrettyBama]

6. Respectability politics. Who cares if they see us negatively or not? Who are they? Lol

It's literally like I'm talkin to myself 5 years ago.

[Onassi]

"Feeling more comfortable around white people has nothing to do with superiority/inferiority." Your family is black so saying you feel comfortable around white people is ridiculous. You don't allow yourself to feel comfortable with black people (just like I was) if you actually take time to get to know black people who value their blackness you'll realize that they're more like you than you can imagine."

That was one of the best comments I've ever read on here. preach girl. I've been trying to say this the whole time

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Who the fuck said I didn't feel comfortable around my family? I do allow myself, a lot of black people don't feel comfortable around ME because I'm too "white." And quite frankly, these comments are irrelevant to what I'm asking so...

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

You guys are honestly the biggest morons I've ever interacted with. It's like you're put words in my mouth, or in this case, thoughts in my mind. Please excuse yourself from my question. You are of no help. You're dismissed.

[jesseray]

@PrettyBama,

You seem to have forgotten that it was people in the black communities who foisted that distinction on her in the first place, to mark her as an outsider. She wasn't acting "proper" (as the term is understood among whites, hispanics, asians, africans, and many black americans), she was acting "white". In other words, she wasn't like WE, she is like THEY. It seems unfair to me to chastise someone for feeling like they are not a member of a community that doesn't recognize them as a member.

Besides, this idea that she is a member of black communities just seems strange to me. I have mostly Irish blood in my veins, but I am not a member of any Irish community. This racial cooption of people just doesn't make much sense. If she's not a member of the communities you refer to, then she's just not, and no amount of chastising her will suddenly make her part of those communities. She's a member of HER OWN community, just like I am, and just like you are.

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Thank you. People think I'm just being stuck up when I'm not with black people because they think I don't want to be "one of them." I am one of them, but they don't accept me and I'm not going to go out of my way to gain their acceptance.

[WhenThatBaseDrops]

Omg. Here we go again! 'I'm not racist. I love black people! I grew up in a white community so I like white guys. I'm this I'm that. I'm blah blah blah. Will white guys like me?'

Warning: Extreme attention seeker ahead

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

I'm not asking if white guys will like me because I've had my fair share of white guys who have flirted with me. Why even comment? Did you even read what I wrote? Can you even read? You're so useless. Lmao. Don't like the question? Avert your eyes.

[ThatBritishLad]

I'm wearing stockings and one heck of a short skirt.
... Oh, I thought you said "racey"...

[ShesCuriouslyCurious]

Lmao!!!

[Anonymous]

I would not be ashamed to have a black girlfriend. But being honest I see more white girls/Latina girls who I find attractive. I still see attractive black women though.

[Anonymous]

Girls thinks caucasian guys are attractive?