Can someone love someone and cheat on them?





I say it's not possible for someone to love someone and cheat even if they think it's a one off...

Ladies what do you think?

Open debate

HEY Every one thanks for the comments!

Keep them rolling.

It is an interesting question so far we all think cheating is wrong!

TweetByrd has a very interesting comment. It makes sense. Any comments on that?
Many people so far have given answers from the heart. That cheating is wrong. For the people who think it's ok cheat, in my opinion they are selfish and care for no one but they own selfish need. I believe these people are sad for they know no love.
It is not possible say you love someone when you betray trust. It means if that happens that you don't know what love is. True love is for better or worse, true love is loving and being loved back, true love is frienship, trust, loyality.
For those that cheat it means you haven't discovered love yet, as you would not hurt the one you love. It is better to feel a deep connection when having sex with the person you adore than with someone who leaves you empty.
Using people is not a correct thing to do anyway. It is better to tell the person you with that you need time to think about what it is you looking for. If you both love each other, and it's true love, I believe it will never die. True love is beautiful.
True love is excepting each other just the way you are. True love is honesty, truthful and a love that's unconditional. BUT not betrayal!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe that you can't love someone if you cheat. You might like the person a lot, but you don't TRULY love them. If you truly love someone you will do ANYTHING to keep them from being hurt. There is a paradox to this, however, and that is. If someone was pointing a gun at the person you love and you stepped in front of the bullet. You are saving them from being hurt and saving their life, but you are still hurting them by you dying. But that is a completely different case. When it comes to cheating if you love someone you will never cheat regardless. For those who say yeah you can love someone and still cheat, its just commitment issues or anything along those lines has yet to truly fall in love with someone. I think a lot of people, not everyone of course, but a lot of people truly believe they "love" someone, but in reality they just like them a lot, and like what that person brings to them, could be happiness, togetherness, completeness, or even sex. They really like that about the person they are with, but then go and cheat and say I just have commitment issues. Bull sh*t! If you love someone you will never hurt them no matter what.


What Guys Said 21

  • Everyone hear me out before you start judging... Some people are saying that it's just wrong to cheat on a person, that it's selfish, and disrespectful... But think about this. You want to be with someone not for them but for yourself. So we are all selfish in that aspect and we are "using" the person we are with. Betraying yourself is the biggest betrayal of all... How about being with someone that doesn't want or like intimacy with you as much as you want it but you love them AND are in love with them? How is it cheating when you are not getting it from a person that "loves" you and you want it from that person and only that person? That is disrespect at it's fullest, especially if you are treating the person good. Many people feel that it shouldn't be all about sex and it shouldn't be a main part of a relationship, but when someone has sex with someone else the person feels betrayed? How is that possible? This also gos along the "I love you, but I am not in love with you" saying that people hear often. Is going to dinner with someone cheating? Is thinking of someone else cheating? Is checking somebody out cheating? Is flirting cheating? Or is it just sex? There are many reasons why people cheat and I am not saying that it's right or wrong. Usually it has to do with what the person that we are with that's just not giving us what we want at the moment, or the "spark" was there with the other person. As far as love gos, you can love just about anything or anyone. Some people feel that since there is "love" then things are expected to be done on both sides of the relationship. People forget that. Another thing is that when it comes to love, you will love yourself first. Loving others before yourself causes you to have expectations with those people, and you will get hurt ... It just depends on the people, the couple, and the situation about cheating. You have to put yourself in other peoples shoes, the people that cheat and the people that don't in order to understand.

  • No, a person can not love someone and also cheat on them. A person who does that does not know what love is. By cheating they hurt the person they love. Would you hurt the person you love? Unless your answer is yes start looking for another man.

    I bet if you cheated on him he wouldn't be to happy about it. but then again why lower yourself to play his lame games. A person should just move on and find someone worth their time and respect.

  • Emotional ties are a semi detached subject from sexual attraction. Allot would have to do with the type of guy you're with. Some have grown up in an environment dominated by male role models who were "players" and as an end result have a difficult time with commitment.

    Many married couples report having had cheated on their significant other at one point or another in their relationship and claim they love each other.

    "Swingers" are a perfect example of those types of people however at least in that type of situation its mutual.

    So to answer your question taking it directly from context, yes, someone can love someone and still cheat on them.

    However... Just because you love someone does not mean you're able to sustain a relationship.

  • In all honesty, they can. Don't get the wrong idea, I think guys who cheat are creeps at the very least, but some guys just don't have enough willpower to resist a hot woman who throws herself at them. Now, if a guy cheats multiple times with the same girl, or even multiple times with different women, it probably means he's only interested in the sex. Even then he can still love the woman he's with, but that doesn't excuse the behavior in the least. I think cheating is wrong, no question about it, but that wasn't the question asked here.

  • someone can love someone and still cheat on them. sometimes the guy or girl just wants something new or different for once. I'm not saying that its right or wrong to do, I'm just saying it happens. but cheating on someone continuously is different to just once. if its just once it could have been spur of the moment and just happened, maybe there drunk or high and thought its a good idea. but if your cheating on someone for a long period of time then I don't think you still really do love them, maybe you feel you have to stay with them or have a commitment to them but if you can cheat on them then you might as well break up with them. the pain(to them) of you breaking up with them is going to be a lot less than the pain of them having breaking up with you after they find out from someone that you were cheating on them.

  • No, if you love someone true then you do anything to protect that, make all the excuses in the world but you may just think you love someone because you don't realise you just enjoy their company, love them in a way but not love them deeply.

    Believe me, true love can die too, if you currently love someone truly, madly, deeply (good song) then it would be impossible to cheat.

    Harder to explain than some may think but overall, NO.

    Don't confuse care, love, friendship and lust with true love as many people do.

    *crying hysterically* "I love you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"

    Yes you did, true love wouldn't allow it, bye bye.

    - My philosophy on a cheater who dare try it on me (which they haven't thank goodness).

    The problem is that you can love someone, love them a lot and care for them a great deal but to cheat on them shows at that time, that love just wasn't strong enough to outweigh a bit of rumpy pumpy, obviously not true love then.

    • This is very true. If they loved the other person, they would care about their feelings and do anything to protect them from feeling betrayed, saddened or experience anything unpleasant.

  • Put it this way, I have dated girls that to this day still don't deserve my kind words but I still give it to them and I never thought once about cheating on them. I still rest my case that there are those who are completely insane to make the rest of us feel normal. Unfortunately we get caught up with those people occasionally and it sets a few things back.

  • I love my girlfriend, But I cheat on her often.

    I don't see it as something wrong - I see it as ... hmm, something like masturbation but with a partner.

    I find that when I do, I'm more attracted to my girlfriend afterwords, every time, I see more and more things in her that I didn't see before last night's exchange.

    I'm not guilted into being a better boyfriend; just naturally some how, I feel more attracted to her, and her good qualities seem to be highlighted, and her not so good qualities seem to become less important.

    I think it has something to do with the first time. My first time cheating with with a girl that knew very well our commitment, and she made it known that afterwards I'll feel better about it. So maybe because of that, I've looked at cheating as a positive thing rather than a negative thing.

    It's been working for me for years :)

    • After reading your response, I disagree even further. Love is different for everyone. You can tell me it's selfish, but if it helps me, you're just being critical.

    • Show All
    • See how it feels when some girl cheats on you....will you still be pro cheating then?!

    • Does your girlfriend know you cheat? And how would you feel if she cheated on you multiple times? Could you honestly say that you wouldn't care?

  • Of course it is possible, lots of people do it.

    That doesn't mean that their partner is going to be ok with it. It's important to note that sex with other people generally isn't the problem with cheating. It's the deception and dishonesty that is necessary get sex with other people.

    FWIW, cheating and unconditional love don't belong in the same sentence. If someone has a problem with cheating, they aren't having unconditional love (since monogamy is, in fact, a condition).

  • Nope, if you cheat on someone it pretty much means you were never really serious. The sad part is that people are easily saying, "I love you".

    • You right!!!! I think some people don't understand what true love is like the dudegutarman below.

  • i think its possible. You have to consider the realm of human emotion. Lets take a hypothetical married couple. Been together for years and love each other very much. Maybe latley things have been stressed, theyve been arguing a lot and feeling resentful of eachother. Its easy to forget how much someone means to you when you're resentful and angry. Lets say one night one of them..after a heated argument goes out gets a little to much to drink and sleeps with someone. Can you imagine the guilt and regrett the next day? suddenly realizing what youve done and what you may have cost yourself? At that moment...if love does exist...thats when the person will realize it. That's when theyll be reminded of that special someone at home. IF they do not feel any of this...then there is no love.

    • Fair comment. But it will still leave room for debate as to why do it in the first place if you cared. That's a heavy burden to carry for only one night. And getting drunk should really not be an excuse if one cares. You'd most probably think after a heated argument you'd go to the pub, have a few drinks and go home and tell he or she you sorry and how much they mean to you. Now that's love! But then we human as you say. And some people are weak? Good points you have.

  • Depends. Am I in a serious relationship with this girl, or are we just fuc% buddies? In a serious relationship, NO WAY. If we are just romping in the hay whenever, then it's not a real deal anyway.

    • That makes sense! Can't argue with that. So a serious relationship means trust and loyalty. and a casual fling means the person is not ready. Do you think then a man/woman should tell the person they with that they not serious to avoid hurting them?I

    • Not if the guy wants to keep it a secret and keep his "trophy" girlfriend

    • Interesting comment.!! So that means he'll be guilt free? And that means his trophy girlfriend is just a trophy. Ouch!!!! I wouldn't like to be in her shoes. This type of man then has no love for any one but himself. What do you think?? He's selfish and wants the best of both worlds. But men like that lose both ways in the end. Interesting comment though!!!

  • I am an honest guy. If you cheat on someone you are a lying ass that truly doesn't care.

    • You the type of guys we like to hear from. Because it makes us women realise we not crazy believing that. Thanks to you cliffyd159. You a good example to men. You are a real man that deserves only the best !!! wish you all the best. How do you know that BTW.

    • Thank you for the flattering comment. I know that because I've seen friends that do it to women, I've seen it done to my girl friends (just friends), I could NEVER get behind it because anytime I even LIKE woman I won't do ANYTHING with anyone else. If I love a woman I find her flawless. She is the best thing in this god given world, and to cheat on her would be something I could never do. 10 to 1 says I wouldn't be able to even get it up in a cheating situation. :p

  • hmm well I'm not sure

    depends on what kind of person you are (not you)

    some guys can love someone and still cheat on them

    some are faithful and would never cheat even if they were just in a relationship with a girl that they just like so far

    it's all about insecurities

    • But the question would be why cheat in the first place. It can't be love or true love then can it. Sometimes I believe people get so used to the life style and can't be bothered to change and find someone else to compensate for what they missing. This is not just about men as women cheat too!!!!! And women are certainly better at this game than men. So men don't be fooled women know how to play this game too and before you know it they gone. Men will stay but women won't in the end.

    • Good for them then

  • NO you can't love someone and cheat on them. I believe this is deeper than love. If you are committed to someone in a relationship, you are in a form of partnership. You define the boundaries/ terms of that relationship. If you cheat, that is betrayal of your partner. Therefore that is a question of the cheaters integrity and commitment. To love someone is to care without question. So, if you cheat and betray your partner, the care leaves, as the cheated when finding out will be hurt. So you can't love someone you consciously hurt, I feel.

  • yeah you can in a kind of tony soprano way but its a value thing more than a love thing. you ain't second to anyone, in rank or sequence. you're a beautiful untamed flower and f*** him for thinking he had you in his pocket in the first place. that's why roses have thorns baby. if its upfront and honest it ain't cheating and yeah you could love someone for a night. there's no state monpoloy on love its an individual thing you share with those receptive but if some dudes creeping kick him out. unless he's tony soprano and you knew he was on that flex all along.

  • YES


    • I hope the person you love one day cheats on you over and over and over again as you think its ok. What goes around comes around. I hope she lies and cheats behind your back and one day for you to realise she never loved you. You deserve a woman who will play you and use you for what she needs from you. A door mat.

    • Show All
    • Thanks guys for your comments. You guys are funny and have made me laugh with those comments. I agree about the"siffilis" I think my comment was mild DoNt-PaNic. But good one!! And yes Just dance he does deserve some hardcore bad Karma. Hope to see you guys back with more comments.

    • I never said it was ok. I would never cheat on someone. You people need to stop jumping to conclusions XD

  • let me tell you frankly...that 1 could cheat his love one if he found a better one...

    bhaiya aage bhadte rahanahi to jindagi ka naam hai...

  • If you're with someone who believes that sex isn't that important in a relationship and having sex with multiple people is okay then yea they are going to have sex with more than one person while with you and can love you more than life itself. Of course, that really isn't cheating though as you know what you're getting in to.

    If you are in a monogamous relationship then no, its not possible for them to love you. That doesn't mean that they don't really like you, it just means that they haven't moved past just liking you to loving you. That being said, they can eventually love you but as long as your guy is acting on those sexual urges they will never reach the point of being truly in love

  • I couldn't cheat to my girlfriend (if I had one lol =(...)

    if she cheated on me, goddamn would I go hardcore sh*t on her ass. (nothin physical) but yeah, id f*** her life up as much as it seems reasonably revengeful.

    • Exactly!!! You'd feel like sh*t and used. You'd feel like a failure. You'd feel like crap. You'd feel that everything was a lie and that you could have found someone who really loved you. I feel so sorry for good men when that happens, because men aren't so strong as women. Like I said men cheat but women are better cheaters!!!! I've just been reading somewhere on the internet where women are confessing they having an affair and they partners don't know. Now c'mon what do you think about that!

    • I wouldn't feel like a failure. She's the failure here lol.

    • OMG.....*whew* I"m still laughing. hahahaha. OMG

What Girls Said 27

  • People make mistakes. I think being too caught up on an idea of "love"- defining it in absolutes like "If you loved me you'd do this and wouldn't do that"- can be unrealistic and undermines the feelings people have for one another.

    So I guess my answer is yes, I think someone can be in love and still cheat. However, the cheating would indicate something is wrong in the relationship, like too much stress or a lack of communication or something, but not necessarily a lack of love.

    • Interesting! But cheating is still cheating? And on the one you supposed to love through better or worse. Why the need to cheat if it is only to do with communication. Cheating hurts people when trust is broken! The relationship can never be the same again as trust, loyalty would have been broken. Could you trust that person again??

    • Couldnt agree more with onemoreplease.

  • I go back and forth about this. I don't think that at the time of the cheating they feel they are truly in love. But sometimes, after the cheating, or after their partner leaves them, they realize they are in love. However, I fully believe that even if *they* realize they are in love, that a marriage isn't meant to be if cheating was involved. Stuff happening before the marriage then maybe. But if one can cheat on the other when they're married, there is probably someone better out their for both of them.

    • Love is strange. As one can fallout of love and fall in love. That's why this question is a hard one. Does one cheat because they no longer love that person any more and is unhappy and tied down and can't get out. Has too much to loose maybe. I was married for 13 years to a very unhappy marriage but not once did I cheat. I could have. and even though I didn't love him anymore I knew it would have been wrong. Mind you, you get women who cheat as well! I don't know how some people can live them

  • Yes, I think it is certainly possible... there shouldn't be the need if you really do love someone in the way I think you mean, but then people are always doing crazy things without always knowing why... I'm sure there are many people who may have cheated on their partner but would never dream of saying it meant that they did not love them. Just as there are hundreds of different people in the world there are different ways of feeling and experiencing love. Its hard debate you've asked for, because there are so many differing opinions people can offer depending on their experiences :)

    One thing is for sure, cheating usually only causes heartache and that is something that any person in love should never want to cause.

  • no & yes. it depends on the situation because not everything is black & white. there are grey scales.

    but for what I'm thinking about no, if someone truly loved you, they would not cheat on you. they would think about how their actions would affect you & would do everything in their power to prevent you from emotional & physical harm.

  • i believe that if on is mature enough to realize the consequences of cheating, then they are ready for a relationship.

    if they're confused and they like more attention and want to cheat on their partner, they can deal with their consequences and not expect their partner to forgive.

    i've never forgiven a guy for cheating on me; I cut it off immediately-then they realize what they have lost and maybe MAYBE they loved me but it's too late.

  • Of course not. If you loved the person, then you care about them as a person. Some might go as far as saying you hurt yourself if you hurt your partner.

    Cheaters are mentally immature people that need to grow up. Relationships are the LAST place where you should be indecisive. A relationship involves physical and mental connection, and if you're still not satisfied with THAT, they will complain and search for something different.

    When we were children, we would whine and cry about toys we could not have (even though we had wonderful toys already). And when we finally have it, we would play with it a bit, and then go back to being spoiled and annoying brats. This is exactly like cheating, only more serious. Why would you want to emulate a spoiled little kid that still wears a diaper? It makes no sense whatsoever.

    Don't start wondering if the grass is greener on the other side, because it causes temptation. Be thankful you have someone that loves every hair on your head, because that's rare to find someone like that.

    If you have something like this, hold on to it. Hold on to it for dear life, because it is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And when it's gone, you will be alone, and regretting what you have done.

  • No. Actions speak louder than words. If someone treats you like crap then they don't love you. If they cheat on you, they don't love you. They don't care about hurting you, they don't care at all so they obviously don't feel enough if anything at all.

  • no. if he loves you, he wouldn't want to be with any one but you.

    • You got that one right!!!!!. Look at Adam and Eve, TEMPTATION made them loose sight of true happiness. It's ok for man or woman to look, but not to want after it or touch it. We only human as therockcomic says but there's a difference between LOVE and LUST. So you are right!!!!! I believe if you going to cheat or want to cheat then it means you need time out to reflect on what you really want. No point staying in a relationship because it suits you or you have lots to loose. It has to be LOVE

  • I believe cheating is very wrong. If you made a commitment to someone then you need to be loyal, faithful, and trustworthy. I never understood cheating anyway. If you want to be with someone else or just want to physically conquer others, why drag your partner along with you? Just have the balls to break it off and then go do what you want. No sense in hurting someone else over your (your being universal term here) selfish needs.

  • i belive in that everone makes mistakes, but honestly, mistake or not, I would findit very hard to accept their appoligy and it just wouldn't be the same... I couldn't love them the same. I would turn inot a jelous insercure moster because I woud be affraid he would do it agian.

    GAME OVER for me

  • i think that a cheater is extremely selfish as you stated in your updatee. however, I think you can cheat and still love someone. (I have) I was young and didn't understand what it felt like to be hurt and so I didn't think anything of it. is it wrrong to cheat? HELL YEA. but I think you can still love the person...BUT I THINK IF YOU CHEAT, YOU LOVE YOURSELF MORE. and that's the biggest difference.

    • Also, why do you ask for peoples opinions but then when you don't like the answer you writee things like what true love really is and what is and isn't the correct way of doing things acting as if you know all? don't ask for opinions if you're going to tell people they're wrong and what you say is right.

  • I agree cheating is wrong. I hate to say this but just because you cheat doesn't mean you don't love that person. I know it sounds awful but I honestly believe otherwise.

  • Simply- yes, you can cheat AND still love the person you are with at the same time.

  • No. if you care about and love someone then you wouldn't even thiink about cheating. {So if a significant other cheats, then they don't care about their gf/bf}

  • Well to me its a self control issue..if you really love someone, that should give you enough willpower to say "no" to a booty call

  • Well I agree with the idea that you can love someone and cheat on them. I have made that mistake in the past, and thank God I have a very loving and accepting husband who forgave me 4 it. Basically, don't allow yourself to be put in a SITUATION where temptation may arise, and stay sober. I don't agree with opposite sexes mingling if they are in serious relationships, due to the fact that attraction between people may arise and lead to cheating. I changed my way of living and haven't cheated since! Its definitly something that takes getting used to, but ask He/She worth it? Mine is!

  • absolutely not! if you really love someone then you have respect for them and if you have respect for them then you absolutely would not cheat!

    • Go Girl!!!!!!! Well said!

  • hell no.

    how could you do that to your S.O?!

    so not fair to them. Loyal means LOYAL end of story. What will God say?!

    Now if you broke up, got a divorce, that's understandable, but while you're in one? what the hell? do you NOT CARE?! cold hearted.

  • no, if you really truly love someone you don't even see anyone else like that...the only one you see in any kind of sexual way is the one you love

  • u can't love someone and cheat on them. if you love someone, ur devoted to them and no other boy/girl should matter. there's no excuse for cheating if you tell someone you love them. even if you were drunk at the time. simple as that. if you love someone. you don't cheat on them

  • this is something me and my friends talk about alot.

    i think if you are I love with someone you never want to see them hurt

    if you realllllly love some like truly love someone once you see one sign of them being hurt you want to everything in your power to make them happy again

    that being said no you cannot truly love someone and cheat on them

    it s impossible

    • I agree, it is a topic that is so interesting and talked about so often. Society has changed so much that there is even such a thing as swinging ,so couples can swing together without going behind their partners back. What has this world come to! Everyone has their views I guess it will be interesting to see what people say about this.. Growing up as a child you hear of how men have cheated on their wives and girlfriends and how they stayed with them and put up with it. I personally would never.

    • Exactly when you are in a relationship you are comitted to them and only them if you don't like it them you shouldnt be in a relationship to begin with

      if I was ever cheated on I would leafve the guys in a heart beat no doubt

  • No. You cannot LOVE someone and cheat on them. You can care about someone, like someone, feel an attraction towards someone, have a bond with someone but LOVE? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. You don't cheat on people you love. Why in the hell would you? If you can't keep it in your pants then you need to find someone with the same appetite and desires. From there you can decide to have an open and safe relationship where you each see other people but keep the other informed. A mutual understanding and acceptance that it's just sex. But cheating? *vomits*

  • me and my partner have agreed from day one that rather than cheating on one another we would end the relationship if it ever came to it. If you honestly truly love someone then why would you feel the need to cheat.

  • yeah it usually just means they have commitment issues

  • I've cheated on guys I loved, but I wasn't IN LOVE. I don't think you can cheat and be in love, but I always felt guilty and told the guy what had happened.

  • yes true to both...people could love someone and cheat with an ex that they loved too before! hows that for fairness..its true we love and move on but love is we shared from the past isthere forever it turns into care at times I know doesn't happen a lot for when people breakup its because they don't get along but how about the victims of real love?that they love their partner and then they left to cry?this people carry baggage and anger goes away in time..i would be too late for them to realize they are cheating with an ex already which the very very common reasons of all cheating...

    when I love somone today I toatlly with no I could not cheat with anyone just new around or random people at pubs..but possibly cheat with my ex that I still care..hope you got my point,love is blind and crazy and will survive thru the rain and times...

  • From experience I can say that one piont in my relationship iwe hit a low where I felt like everything was just gonna end and that we hated each other and I ended up seeking comfort with another man nothing physical but we had that emotional connection and before anything really happened I confessed to my boyfriend and we worked it out.

    • So in other words what you saying is that if a relationship is going wrong it's ok to cheat rather than being sincere and loyal and trying to discuss what the problems are and working at it. that's a shame that people can think its ok to do that. where is the respect for that person that you claim to love then? there is no excuse to cheat I'm afraid. because when the relationship goes wrong then you saying it's ok to cheat. I think that's sad because you can't love someone that much!f . I think

    • What I am saying is that I made a mistake at a really low piont and I came clean about it and we moved on I'm not saying its right to cheat I am saying that sometimes it happens and hopefully. Ur relationship is strong enough to work through it

    • I know you didn't sleep with this man hun. You could have cheated if you wanted to, but didn't because you loved your man. And that's the whole point of discussing this. Well done for you. So it does prove that if you love someone you won't cheat. I was supporting your first comment by the way :) X