My GF confessed me yesterday she sent nudes pics and videos to her ex when they were together? How would you react? im lost? help me?

[Anonymous]

when she said that, I was feeling really sad, and disappointed...

But she knew she was stupid, and that too naive because it was her first BF in 20 years ( she's 25 im his second, she's my first).

And she cried for 2 hours on Skype, telling me she's sorry that she's done that, she loves me and wants only me, and feel miserable to make me feel sad. And that she's soo ahsame...

And I couldnot be mad at her, and told her that even if it made me sad, I love her, and want a bright future with her.
And I trust her that she's a good girl, just did a stupid mistake.

But how to approach it now? I already care way less about it than yesterday, but should I?

How would you react?

Leave her?

Dont care and love her?

Take a break?

Other?

Feel free to explain, I really want your opinions

leave her

dont care, keep loving her

take a break

other (explain)

Updates

+1 y

the thing also is not that the action is a big deal, they made love I know, and I dont care...

But im afraid I might always have the fear of her EX keeping always possession of that, and maybe share them on internet etc...

What if in 10 years, when we have kid, her EX shares pictures and videos of her?

I dont know how I would react, except wanting to kill her ex...

[ajr92]

Hang on, I don't quite understand this question, sorry. Are you saying that she sent nude pictures/videos to her ex since she's been with you? Or are you saying that when she was with him she sent nude pictures/videos then?

I'd have a problem if a girlfriend of mine sent nudes to her ex while I was with her. If she'd done it in the past as this case seems to be... so what?

I get that it might be hurting you, but in my opinion this is not a big deal at all.

[oldanddecrepid]

I would not be hard on her for sending the photos... but why would she tell you at this point?

If she was intentionally trying to hurt you with this information then I would be more worried about that!

If she was not trying to hurt you then she could have left it alone and you would never have known!

[Asker]

no, its because I ask her as a joke, never expected to her that she had.

And she litterally cried, and told me she dont deserve me, but dont want to lose me.

Bu we promise we will never lie, never, and she didn't want to lie to me, because she loves me soo much, just like I do...

[oldanddecrepid]

Cut her some slack then man... I would not be so worried about that then. The fact that she felt she owed you the truth says a lot more about her state of mind with you. Trust is big part of a relationship!

[Asker]

you are right. I should be thankfull she loves me soo much that she wants to share her mistakes of her past, and dont ever want to hide anything from me :) thank you, that cheered me up man

[oldanddecrepid]

Your welcome and anytime...

Thanks for the MHO. Cheers man! :)

[Findingmyway]

She was dating him and it was her decision and not for you to have involvement in. Its what some do one on one sadly. If she said she posted them on a site for many random people to watch thats different. But her to him alone is none of your business in my opinion. Why she told you is beyond me.

[Asker]

we were talking for fun, pretty intimate, and I said like: dont try to get me sending nudes! and you, do you have any on your cell ( i said it as a joke, never expected what she said0

but then she confessed, and she said she told me because she really loves me, and dont ever wanna lie about anything

[BushBabyBoo]

You say "confessed" as if she did something really bad, and though I think sending nudes is stupid because they can be spread around, what she did is in no way morally wrong and really has nothing to do with you... don't act like she betrayed you because she doesn't deserve that

[Findingmyway]

Agree with @BushBabyBoo

[Asker]

for me it was not that big of a deal, thats why I said to her, your pas is your past, I love you and want to focus on present and future with you. I was a bit disappointed. But for her, it was something really bad. she's a pure innocent girl, she cried for like 2 hours on Skype, saying she's sorry, she was stupid and naive, that she doesn't deserve me ( which is false), that it was the biggest mistake of her life...

Thats why I say confessed, because it was a little deal for me, but a big for her, since she didn't want to take at all, and hated it, but her EX manipulated her emotions to get what he wanted

[becca123]

She told you the truth about something she did in her past. Don't punish her honesty with stupidity. If she did it last week, sure. Leave this alone, she already knows it was a mistake and feels bad. So what if he still has them? Not her problem, and definitely not yours

[Asker]

so what if he leaks them to her family, friends etc... the videos and the pics?

I told her I will always be there, no matter what, and thats true 100%

But it would still break her, maybe her family too ( since they are soo conservative since she's Asian living in asia)

[becca123]

If he hasn't yet, he most likely won't. Don't borrow trouble :)

[Asker]

yeah, he already has a new GF. If he's not stupid, he probably deleted them already.

But thank you, thats good to hear and reassuring me a lot!

Have a wonderfull day my friend! :)

[becca123]

I admire your girl for her honesty. She's a keeper. :)

[GingerBiscuits]

If it was during their relationship & she doesn't keep contact with him still, leave it in the past.
If it happened during your relationship, take a bow & let her go.

[Starrk]

I wouldn't care at all. As long as it took place when they were dating and not when I was with her, then I see no problem. When she sent those nudes to him, you were not in her life so there no reason for you to be down.

This may be hard to believe, but she did have a life before she met you, just like you had one before you met her.

[bryon]

A persons past is just that and should be left there. Everyone has something about there past that they regret. It's never a good thing to dwell on the past , it's hard to have a future if one can't get over the past. You can cheat your self out of a lot of joy if a persons past dictates you ability to have a future. Breath in and move forward

[Anonymous]

"Ex"

"When they were together"

You're seriously stressing about something that happened before your time? That right there is called 'insecurity' or 'irrationality', and contrary to popular belief you SHOULD be expected to deal with these issues of yours instead of just living at the mercy of them.

[SomeoneImportant]

What your partner did in the past was before your time, no reason to give even the slightest fuck about something like this.

Don't sweat it broseph.

[WhoTheHellKnows]

If it happened before you two were dating, it's pretty irrelevant. Who cares? That was between them two. It has no bearing in your relationship with her

[PiuBelloAmante]

Don't judge her on her past, but don't assume she is a good girl either, that is just setting yourself up for disappointment...
She is 25, as long as she isn't immature anymore you should be fine...

[miserybusiness]

Wtf, I don't see the problem? She sent him nudes WHILE THEY WERE TOGETHER, not while you two are dating. She did nothing wrong.

Don't turn this into a big deal. Unnecessary drama.

[bubble_tea]

Ask her to show you his nudes if it'd make you feel better about the situation.

[Asker]

hahaha NO! i dont want, and I dont think he sent any, just manipulated her emotions, because she was in love ( it was her first BF in 20 years), and he's an ass hole. But I dont wanna see her, and dont wanna see his especially not.

But its ok now, I was shock and disappointed on the moment, but now, I almost dont care at all anymore

[bubble_tea]

I see. It's normal I guess to assume your gf is/was always a Marie and only a Marie Magdalene for you.

[randomhobo]

Don't care. Presumably she's sent some to you as well. Its a norm of dating nowadays.

[Aaronjj85]

Honestly it was before you were together. You can't really get mad about it. She had a life before you after all. Hell, it's not even a stupid mistake. I say move on from the situation. She probably feels bad enough as is.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care so much about her past? Her previous relationship had nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Okay what the hell, they were a god damn couple! Believe it or not, but it's normal to send your boy-girlfriend nudes.

[Hubris]

They probably had sex, too.