I'm black and my ex who's white dropped the "N" bomb, what to do?

It wasn't toward me or even in a derogatory sense, but I called him out about it and told him off but he was so unapologetic, claiming that white people say it all the time and he only meant that the people he was talking about are dumb or something.

I told him it was inappropriate to say that to me at all and he still just made excuses... I've had nothing but white boyfriends and one of them did slip up and say it and needless to say I'm no longer with him.

My white friends who I've talked to about it say tell me that they have said it in that sense of the matter but it isn't a regular part of their vocabulary and that he's the biggest idiot ever. It hurts my heart and my pride to think I was in love with him at one point but that's a whole other story.

Pretty much, I just want peoples opinions. I'm deleting him from my Facebook and MySpace but should I send him a message first saying the above statements? Should I just leave it alone and let him revel in his own confusion? Please answer honestly.

I'm not looking for a new way to reprimand those who are racist because I know he isn't racist and I just wouldn't waste my time. I'm just asking peoples opinions on what they think of the situation. He was my EX before this was said we didn't just break
up because this was said. I deleted him and he sent me some ANGRY messages, what's up with that? Maybe he doesn't get it...?
Thanks everyone for your honest answers, it gives me a better perspective on things.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should just move on you say he's an ex? Well then forget about him. He obviously doesn't respect you. I can't stand when people drop the and bomb. Regardless of race you're either racist or trying to be cool. A lot of people make racist jokes just because there funny most people won't get too upset. But then you have actual racists who really treat other people differently because there skin is different and they are the lowest scum ever. The fact that these people were raised to treat other human beings like that is disgusting to me.

    Wow this ended up a rant and with no direction whatsoever my bad lol

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      Lol, its ok thank you.

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      This is deep

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      ^^lol I was raised to treat everyone the same. Whether they are Black, Purple, Gay or some kind of combination of both. It really bothers me to see someone treat someone else like trash because they are different.