Should I apologize to the wife of a man I had an emotional affair with?

[Anonymous]

Ive had a crush on a man I see frequently at work for several months. We often have drinks after work with a small group of people. We began flirting with each other to the point where a lady in our group asked if we were going to have an affair. We did embrace once. In fact I wanted to have an affair with this man until my husband found out. I still dream about him. I love my husband and I'm trying to work this out and save our marriage. My husband is very upset over my betrayal and the fact that I lied and lied about it at first. Initially I minimized this relationship but now I'm devastated by my behavior and the pain it has caused. The other man is a big flirt and will surely continue this behavior with other women (I try to keep my distance now). Should I apologize to this man's wife. Would it help the healing process for my husband and me?

[ladylicker501]

Havent read the other comments, but as a "cheater" in my past relationships, the healing will always start with you...You have to forgive yourself for letting your emotions overtake your vows, and most importantly, you will always be working to rebuild your trust with your hubby. It will take time, alotta time in some cases. What needs to be said is the guy you had this relationship with needs to be told to end any and all comments, flirting or lewd, as you consider this sexual harassment. Always assure your husband that this was a one time thing and it will never happen again...Hopefully, he won't seek revenge and do same to you..Main Key to any successful relationship - Communication - no matter how small the talk; even just wanting to know how each others day was...Communicate! Good Luck! Oh, NO, It will do no good to apologize to her...she will soon find out and he will have to live with his mistakes.

[kandyluv]

is this from a guy or girl?

i'm just going to imagine that you are a girl.

first, you have to come straight with the guy you're having the affair with, and tell him straight up that you can not continue with what is going on... make it clear to his understanding, and you make sure you don't give him any signals that you want to continue. keeping your distance is not going to end it.

i don't think you should appologise, because appologising to the wife just makes everything worse cause you're making it go all public. if your reputation is high, you would not want to spoil it, if not go ahead and do wats right. but I can assure you that the wife would not welcome you with open arms and give you a bear hug, when you've just had an affair with her husband... get the point?

think hard through your situation, but I hope I've helped... good luck

[ty-lady]

The other woman has nothing to do with the healing process of you and your husband. Your focus should solely be on your husband, he is the one that you took vows under God with. Figure out why you allowed yourself to absorb yourself with another and deal with that factor or it will surely happen again. Flesh will allow you to sin so get into your faith and work harder on it. I am no saint myself but I still have the word inside me to help others.

Why did you go there in the first place?

What are you missing in your marriage?

Do you feel loved and complete?

Why do you feel you owe his wife an apology?

Answer these questions and digest your answers...Good Luck! Ty_lady!

[Secretgirl]

Honestly I wouldn’t advise you NOT to talk to her. I mean according to what you’re writing the affair never took place. I really don’t think you should ever get in between their marriage. What are you going to say…? “Oh just FYI me and your husband talked about f***ing but it never happened.” You’re going to cause more drama and this is your co-worker we are talking about! It’s extremely unprofessional. Think about it.

Let her find out for herself.

[Secretgirl]

Would advise you NOT to talk to her***

[hunnie-bunches]

Are you a guy? your profile is blue which is for the males?

[RebeccaRoxx]

no way ... leave it alone. Do not cause more people pain when not needed. If this woman has a husband who has this behavior then it is her business. Let her find out and do her own research. I beleive it will only make matters worse for everyone

[Anonymous]

obviously no. you are just going to cause drama which absolutely NOBODY likes... except maybe you?

[Anonymous]

no it will make you feel better but the mans wife doesn't wanna hear from u