Do you think promise rings are necessary? Or a waste of money?

Question

I was talking to my boyfriend because I noticed that all of my friends have promise rings except for me and I asked him if he were ever going to buy me one and he said he didn't think they were necessary because when he says I want to marry him someday, I should believe him. He also noted he had a bitter experience with an ex selling hers to a pawn shop and that was another reason, and I think that's the part that bothers me or maybe it shouldn't. Either way, do you think promise rings are important?

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

Promise rings are not important really. I know it means a lot to you. But does it mean a lot because your friends have them, or actually because you truly want one?

A promise ring really means nothing. No ring really means anything. We attach our own meanings to things. Sure it's nice to get a pretty ring from a boyfriend. But I know so many people who had promise rings who never ended getting married or even engaged.

I think if it means something to both people, it can be an incredibly sweet gesture. But I don't think it's necessary or says anything about your relationship.

What you need to do is really think about your relationship with your boyfriend. Does he make you happy? If he does and you love him, then I don't think a promise ring is necessary. Try to find happiness in the love you two share and not on what material items he can give you.

Plenty of people have beautiful rings, but do not have a happy relationship. I know plenty of married people who have beautiful homes, new vehicles and go on plenty of trips, but they are very unhappy. Material items mean nothing.

SvetlanaSavachenko · Accepted Answer

I've never heard of a promise ring till this thread. Seriously what difference does a piece of jewelry make? Does an engagement ring make you any more engaged than a woman without one? Does a wedding band make you any more married than a woman or man without one?

A relationship is supposed to be about your feelings and love for each other not about a piece of jewelry on your finger. I know a guy who never was able to afford to buy his wife a wedding ring, in fact he rarely had 2 nickels to rub together in his pocket but they were probably the happiest couple I've ever met.

To answer your question, I don't think promise rings are important at all. In fact it sounds high schoolish to say the least. Something a high school boy would use to string a girl along because he doesn't trust her with his class ring.

What's important here is. Do you love each other? If you can both say yes nothing else is needed.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Didn't even know those were a thing, sounds a bit childish to me. Are you really 25-29 years old?

Im alright with my current boyfriend and me living happily ever after if that would happen, but I'm young and free and far from ready to tie myself down in a marriage-like way.

lumos · Accepted Answer

No. I believe this is a very American thing to do and I've never understood it, or even encountered it where I live. I feel like if you're going to give someone a ring, it might as well be an engagement/wedding ring. Anything other than that is just nonsense.

mikemx55 · Accepted Answer

I thought promise and engagement were the same thing.

That is a definite No then. But hey, if you want to wear a ring, you can always buy one for yourself. That way, it will be just the way you like it. At your taste, and not some present that you may not totally like. Also, because he didn't give you one, it won't be attached to him, and if it doesn't work out, you can always wear the ring anyway because you like it.

But a ring, seems to be just a way of claiming a woman to show other males that she is taken. Like a flag in a conquered fortress...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No, I don't think they're necessary. Promise rings don't promise a damn thing unless it's death or taxes, those are the only two things guaranteed in life. I like how you asked if we were ever going to get you a ring, by "we" I think you mean he unless you plan on helping him to pay for it. If you ha e to ask if you're going to get one that it doesn't have the same meaning, may as well buy your own at that point.

btbc92 · Answer

Listen, promise rings are not a waste if it is something special between the both of you. However it is a waste if you two are not being serious about marrying each other. I don't know how long you two have been dating, but if you two can get married now then just get married now if you two know each other enough for that commitment.

Don't wait years and years and you never get married. And waiting so long just because you want to live together before you marry is not a good idea. It's not the same as when you get married. You need a promise rings for that. It has to come from your heart and soul and you make plans to get it done. If you don't, then your selling each other pipe dreams that is never going to happen.

JohnDoe3000 · Answer

What's next, a pre-promise ring, and then a pre-pre-promise ring, and so on? It's obviously a commercial scam and it seems to be working: you only want it because you see other girls with it.

Save the money for something you two actually need (like a house or a car) or something you can enjoy together (like a vacation).

Razzle-Dazzle · Answer

They aren't necessary, but some people like the symbolic meaning behind a promise ring. If a guy wanted me to wear one, I'd think It was a nice gesture , and wear it

I wouldn't want one just because my friends had one. The ring would have no meaning then. It wouldn't be as significant or of any value if it was given by him because it's what he wanted.

Rocket_Queen · Answer

Promise ring is absolutely useless over the age of 18 and then it is only acceptable while still in highschool. No grown man who plans to be with a woman forever buys her a promise ring. He bus her an engagement ring and says "baby will you marry me?". A promise ring means "I promise we will never marry but let me string you along for a few more years".

BadOmen · Answer

Promise rings are good marketing and that's all. I know of one couple that have promise rings and that relationship is so shaky that the guy probably got it just to make sure she didn't walk away from him. If he doesn't think a promise ring is necessary then that just means you're in a stable enough relationship where he doesn't need some arbitrary b. s. to keep the two of you together.

BubbleBoy69 · Answer

Anyone remember Jennifer Love Hewitt and her promise ring scam to all her ex-BF?

AhGojira · Answer

Are you are whore? Really what is a ring? It's a chunk of metal that has potential monetary value. If someone gave you that for a promise that you would stay with them, then what you are really saying is that you are a whore, and that is your price. So again are you a whore?

Goldie757 · Answer

It makes no sense to me. I mean if you're promising to get married why not get engaged? I view an engagement as a promise to get married so making a promise to make a promise to get married is a bit much. Maybe if you're like a teenager or something it could be cute in a first love kind of way.

HOAAH · Answer

I honestly think rings of all sorts are a waste of money. One couple can buy the most expensive ring ever, and break up a few years later. Another couple has no rings on their fingers but they are married till death do them part. Which one do you think you'd rather be? the one that ended up with a ring and no relationship?

Brokenheartedx · Answer

What a lot of nonsense, promise ring.. another waste of money spent on tat.. if he wanted to marry you when the times right he'd rather help contribute to a wedding than some crappy jewellery.. only 2 rings a woman should wear in her life, the engagement ring and the wedding ring... anything else is wasteful.. he's every right to be wary of his last one pawned it.. he probably saved up for weeks or months to buy it.. he's learned from experience

Iwant2beLoved · Answer

My boyfriend gave me a promise ring on our 3 years. To me that was special cause it showed that he truly wants to be with me. But hoenstly, don't compare yourself with your friends. That's their relationship. They could have promise rings and it mean nothing at all. What's important is your relationship so worry about you and your man. If he says he wants to marry you one day, take his word for it. You don't need any object to show your love for one another.

purplishone · Answer

No believe me it's not so important. More important things are your promises which you give each other. Don't get the wrong idea about him. Some people just don't like rings, like me. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you. I also don't want to wear ring when I marry, but if the guy who I'll marry persists about this I can want to make his name like a tattoo to my ring finger instead of wearing promise ring. So don't upset yourself :)

Avneo · Answer

Good for only one way to keep unwanted people away as it mean you are unavailable,
But it can create blood circulation problem, long term effects, the ring can stuck in and dangerous for finger that's why cops and military men don't prefer to wear it.
Wastage of money as well, it can also reveal identity,

JuicyBrain · Answer

Promise rings are stupid. Girls want them cause they like shiny things or because their friends have one and they're jealous. If you NEED a ring to believe someone's proposal, then their words aren't worth much.

RationalMale · Answer

I think a promise ring is fine. However I wouldn't spend a fortune on one. I was talking to a girl and she said she'd want a $1500 engagement ring... I think that's ridiculous really. You can get someone a nice ring for a few hundred. Or a pretty silver ring for under $100 online. Why would I spend literally 160 hours of working to buy a piece of metal... that could be towards a home. Or several nice Caribbean cruises.

slatyb · Answer

Promise rings -- so not important. Engagement rings -- not important. It's all marketing bullshit. Especially re engagement rings -- unless you are very wealthy, save the money for something more important which is about anything at all.

Seneya · Answer

I don't think those are much/any important, not to me at least. In agreement with an answerer here I personally feel like there are some trust issues going on within the couple.

snowangle · Answer

I honestly don't see the point of promise rings. If he wants to marry you, why not just buy you an engagement ring? Why is there an extra ring involved now?

angelicbaby · Answer

It doesn't have to be a "promise ring" to make something special between you two! My boyfriend and I have matching Alpaca key chains and it's more special because no one is really going to question a keychain right? It's something between us. I would rather save a ring for when i'm engaged.

tues_clues · Answer

they're definitely cute... i think girls care more about an actual object, such as a ring, to represent promises, more than a guy does. but not a waste of money i don't think

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