Should I be worried if my boyfriend introduces me to his family as his friend?

my boyfriend of 6 months is a great guy, but very shy and not very good at expressing his feelings. When we started dating we both agreed to keep things quiet for awhile until our families could get used to the idea. My family has issues with me dating anyone because they think it will take time... Show More

Most Helpful Girl

  • There is a line where"shyness" and fear of family stops being those things and starts becoming something completely different.

    A "shy" man may not take you to meet his family or may have difficulties showing affection in public . A man concerned about the reaction of his family and friends to a new and somewhat unbalanced ( in terms of age) relationship would not ask you to events where his close friends and family could meet you socially. This guy doesn't seem to be having those sorts of problems - he just doesn't wnat anyone to know he's dating you!

    The point where a new relationship stops being just dating and a couple starts being a couple in public varies for everyone - and possibly you caught him off guard when you chose to "out" the relationship to your family.

    However his reluctance to even acknowledge you publicly when you are already known to his family ( albeit in a different role) rings alarm bells for me. Either he has a number of deep seated issues that are going to have a major effect on any relationship he has or he is simply enjoying dating you but doesn't wnat a relationship with you . Very few men of his age would turn down sex with a woman so much younger than themselves but that dosen't mean they want a commited relationship with her.

    I'm afraid the "shyness" thing only goes so far - if he can't/won't talk to you about it then you need to move on - either hes' so emotionally crippled he can't discuss this or so morally bankrupt he is just using you for some fun - whichever the reason you don't need someone like this guy in your life.

    • Believe me. I've though about the family thing a lot. But how can I be mad at him for not telling his family when I was guilty o the same thing?

      I didn't tell mine for 4 months. Family is a big part of ot our lives.

      He just lost his dad a few months ago and I don't think he wants to shake things up.

      having said that. I still worry.

      you didn't say anything I haven't said to myself. Except , he's not morally bankrupt. And he acts respectful to me.

      I think fear is a big factor here. For both of us