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Should I be worried if my boyfriend introduces me to his family as his friend?

my boyfriend of 6 months is a great guy, but very shy and not very good at expressing his feelings. When we started dating we both agreed to keep... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • There is a line where"shyness" and fear of family stops being those things and starts becoming something completely different.

    A "shy" man may not take you to meet his family or may have difficulties showing affection in public . A man concerned about the reaction of his family and friends to a new and somewhat unbalanced ( in terms of age) relationship would not ask you to events where his close friends and family could meet you socially. This guy doesn't seem to be having those sorts of problems - he just doesn't wnat anyone to know he's dating you!

    The point where a new relationship stops being just dating and a couple starts being a couple in public varies for everyone - and possibly you caught him off guard when you chose to "out" the relationship to your family.

    However his reluctance to even acknowledge you publicly when you are already known to his family ( albeit in a different role) rings alarm bells for me. Either he has a number of deep seated issues that are going to have a major effect on any relationship he has or he is simply enjoying dating you but doesn't wnat a relationship with you . Very few men of his age would turn down sex with a woman so much younger than themselves but that dosen't mean they want a commited relationship with her.

    I'm afraid the "shyness" thing only goes so far - if he can't/won't talk to you about it then you need to move on - either hes' so emotionally crippled he can't discuss this or so morally bankrupt he is just using you for some fun - whichever the reason you don't need someone like this guy in your life.

    • Believe me. I've though about the family thing a lot. But how can I be mad at him for not telling his family when I was guilty o the same thing?

      I didn't tell mine for 4 months. Family is a big part of ot our lives.

      He just lost his dad a few months ago and I don't think he wants to shake things up.

      having said that. I still worry.

      you didn't say anything I haven't said to myself. Except , he's not morally bankrupt. And he acts respectful to me.

      I think fear is a big factor here. For both of us

What Guys Said 3

  • Nothing to worry about. He is shy and nervous. When the family accepts you, he'll be more comfortable.

  • You are being impatient ; I would go under the guize of being friends and let people pass their own judgement over time. They will figure it out. It shouldn't bother you.

  • Yup. He's doing that for feedback. He clearly wonders if you will live up to the standards or whatever that his family would want for him. So if aunt Lisa and Granny like you, and tell his parents that you two should date, then next time he will introduce you as a couple.

What Girls Said 3

  • I have to say - if it were me in such a relationship, I'd be unhappy. Just as someone below said: he isn't shy to have sex with you. I'd even think he is disrespectful of you. If I were you I'd cool it off with him a bit: I would ask him to be true to the face he presents in the public, and transfer your relationship into friendship zone. No sex, no touching whatsoever. You might find that it even gives your relationship a certain amount of honesty: You truly will be his friend, and there will be nothing he should be feeling uncomfortable about, no need to hold his breath and be nervous. I think you are actually being very patient, playing along compliantly in this complicated game between him and his family. I think you do have something to worry about.

  • you SHOULD be worried. If you are his girlfriend and he is your boyfriend then he should introduce you as his girlfriend. you aren't his friend so why introduce you as his friend? I don't buy that shy sh*t...sorry but he isn't shy enough to be your boyfriend and have sex with you so he can't be that shy. he is in his 50s he's not a child lol. I would have a problem with it and ask him why he didn't introduce you as his girlfriend, if that is in fact what you are. he is a grown man he shouldnt be so scared of his family if that's even the reason

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