I have said "I love you" to my girlfriend but she never says it back.

[Anonymous]

I have said I love you to my girlfriend on a couple different occasions two in particular worry me. Both of these times I poured my heart out on her Wall on Facebook. One time she said that she liked me a whole lot... the second time nothing, she didn't even "like" it. She shows affection in other ways.

She never even uses the phrase in private.

Should I be worried that my girlfriend will not simply say that she loves me in a straightforward and public way?

Updates

+1 y

In case anyone else says it, Yes I have said it to her face. She hasn't responded with a simple I love you then either.

[confused415]

Although it is hurtful to show and say your undying love for someone without receiving it in return, you must accept it. Perhaps she isn't ready to tell you she loves you, and this may be happening for several reasons.

She may have come out of a tumultuous relationship prior to meeting you and feels that she does not want to face another hurtful relationship. Perhaps the last time she was in love with someone, she got extremely hurt and doesn't want that to happen between the two of you.

She may have also grown up in a household where it is strange to show love and to express emotions. It is not unusual for people to not say "I love you" after spending an entire childhood of never hearing it from their parents.

Despite her reasons, don't take this as a sign that she does not love you or will not love you. Give her time, respect, and space. She may show you love in many other ways that you didn't recognize as love before. Perhaps s he rather show it through actions- supporting you in times when you needed it, doing simple tasks like your laundry or cooking you dinners. Allow her to open up to you and show you love in her "own" way.

I know it's hard, but allow her to open up to you and perhaps one day she will explain why she never says it. I promise it will be worth the wait.

[Asker]

I hear what you are saying but emotionally it would be important for me to hear her say it. I know it does not make sense, but it's how I feel.

[confused415]

I understand. I think you would agree with me, however, that you rather she said it herself from her own heart. Let her open up to you and give it time. It will be much more worth it. Don't push her and allow her to open up to you emotionally. Perhaps give her even more reason to love you.

A deeper connection is more than worth it. I promise.

[Vitobroli]

I read your messages and your words pleased me, waht you said about this. made really does my heart good and i'm just so encouraged by that. Thank you

[lavender]

Are there other signs that maybe she is a commitment phobic?

Id say that 4 to 5 months is the reasonable period of time for love to develop in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

how long have you two been together? maybe she just wants to make 100 % sure she is in love

[Ender1027]

two years and we have a house together.

[neberle]

God man grow up your 30 what? Guess what if something doesn't work the first time it isn't going to work a second or third or fouth (and just in case you ask no not the fifth either... the sixth she might break up with you).

She doesn't say it cause she doesn't feel it yet. Guess what, if she doesn't feel it yet you need to stop saying it.

You can't buy compliments with complements. You can't buy love with love. Both of those you get from your personality from your passion from the way you live. If you want her to love you stop trying to make her love you and just live your life be yourself and you will find out just how much she can love you.

Don't throw yourself at someone you are two heavy to catch. Plus maybe she doesn't even know if she wants you yet... Yes that's what you are doing you are throwing a large heavy object at her and telling her she wants it expecting her to make a split second decision that you are telling the truth and risk her life trying to catch it.

[Asker]

No need to be insulting bro.

[rgtsc01]

If this is a new relationship, she may see you as being "needy". But if you feel that enough time has gone by where you think she should say that, you may want to have a conversation about that to hear her honest feelings. It's better to tackle these issues up front, I say.

[Asker]

We have been in a relationship for a couple of months now. Isn't that long enough?

[Yana_khaling]

I m having the same problem. Its been over a month since we were in relation. I quarrel with her. I dint text her for about a week and i thought it was over. But it dint. We are still in relation. So. I m totally confused. Lol. I mean it 'confused'. Plus she would just text me back with emoticons, or a word or two.

[Anonymous]

Try telling her you love her to her face and you might get a better response.

[Asker]

I have told her to her face. Same deal. She'll say all knds of sweet things but not those three little words.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe she's just not ready to say it because it seems like a huge committment. I would try to stay away from pouring your heart out on facebook again because that makes it very public and it should be something that's just between you two at first.