Benefits of having an ugly boyfriend?

I really like this guy, he is not at all like my previous boyfriends. He wants to be in a relationship with me but for some reason I feel like I can do better. He is such a great guy but but he is not at all good looking. kinda ugly. I think what I need is for someone to convince me to do it beause all my friends keep telling me "you can do soo much better"

so what are some benefits in being a lot more attractive then your boyfriend?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This makes me chuckle a little. I can recall from my own experience a time when I could have fit that description of being kind of ugly. What were the problems? Bad haircut, indifferent to clothing styles, and not hitting the gym. And I recall being treated poorly by the ladies, with the exception of a couple of girls who were dating my friends.(Not surprisingly they ended up marrying those same friends.)

    Down the road I felt motivated, got a better haircut, picked up some more stylish threads, and thew on about 15 lbs. of muscle. Naturally women started treating me a lot better. I wasn't a more valuable or better person, but I guess I looked that way to women.

    And that's why it makes me chuckle. Unless this guy is suffering from some serious bone alignment deformities, the difference between how he looks now and how he'd look if he was devoted to looking his best could be substantial.

    Despite the buzz that opposites attract, the truth is that like attracts like. People match up best, and most often, in relationships where appearance, intelligence, values, education, and interests align.

    What's happening with you is that some portion of those similarities is there, whether it be beliefs, intelligence, values, interests, or something else, but those things are all of a lesser value in your mind than his appearance. As for the benefits, well, that's a tough one to provide because the things he might provide - stability, love, concern, etc. don't seem to be as important to you (or your "friends") as the appearance. Given that you'll probably feel more comfortable dating someone else.

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What Guys Said 21

  • He actually will appreciate you.

    your friends say "you can do soo much better" what do they mean.

    looks? is he dumb? is he poor? is he jobless? is he and asshole? does he like to skin kittens?

    how does he compare to their boyfriends? whoops don't go there then you'll be like every other woman your age!

    dont compare him. figure out what is important to YOU and make a decision.

    I mean you could date the hottest guy in the world and he can be a huge asshole.

    I've met some ugly people. I am ugly. but believe it or not sometimes the ugliest people have the cutest babies. besides would you rather have your kids be gorgeous or healthy, wealthy, and kind? which one of those are you really willing to risk?

  • Well they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. At least for me if I am really loving a girl her appearance gets better in my eyes. If you think you are so much more attractive than him you will treat the relationship like a favor for him, or an opportunity to get favors for you. He will no doubt grow to resent this and hopefully either dump you or let you push him around and then you will cheat on him or dump him but you'll wait till you got another guy locked down. Certainly men have the reputation for being the crueler sex but multiple posts about the "benefits of ugly boyfriends" makes me wonder

  • I praise you for at least considering to date him... There is absolutely no benefits to dating an ugly guy OR a hot guy... The ONLY difference is what you see in them.

    I am an attractive and well-built guy. I dated a not-so-perfect girl and ended up falling in love with her... (she ended up breaking my heart because she is 5 years older than me and thought it wouldn't work in the long-run). The problem I had was that since she wasn't super attractive, I'd find myself looking at other woman and thinking of what it would be like to be with them instead; Nonetheless I Had fallen in love with this girl because of who she was. I could have stayed with her a long time if she wasn't so pessimistic about the future... MY love for her always FAR outweighed my thoughts for other woman...

    I did it and that girl was the best Girlfriend I have ever had. If you are anything like me, then go for it.

    I would suggest not to date him if you have poor self control. Lust is VERY powerful, and if in the future you felt attracted to some very attractive guy, you might end up causing a LOT of pain and heartache. If you think you'd never cheat, then I'd say GO FOR IT!

  • You probably made your decision by now to date him or not but I just had to say that this dude shouldn't date you. If you can't date a "great guy" because your friends tease you about him or he isn't pretty enough then you are really immature and probably have low self esteem too. Do the dude a favor and reject him if you haven't already because if you get into a relationship with him with the attitude that you "can do so much better" then that will suck for him.

    Us dudes are supposed to be the shallow ones and my ex girlfriend was probably considered by all of my friends and family as unattractive (plus the fact that she was black and none of them would've dated a black girl) and I not only dated her but I kind of fell for her, and I didn't give a shit what my friends thought

    • Cool

    • I hate how this guy [Camilus] thinks that you're such a horrible person just because you're hesitant to date a guy because you're not physically attracted to him. Of course there are more important things in people than looks but looks should be part of the reason to date someone or not. Why not have this guy as just a friend?

  • Looks matter. To a degree. Less so for guys.

    But if you're super hot and he's just OK or even 'ugly' then there is a problem. The good news is that 'ugly' is different for guys and girls. For most guys, a commitment to improving your look can be done. Bulk up on muscle, change your haircut, get contacts, get a style consultant. All these things can make 99% of the guys "good looking". A guy's attractiveness is also related to his social value - that is, how dominant is he? Is he leading, commanding, resourceful? Can he make friends easily? Does he know how to treat a girl when she feels certain emotions? All these add to his "attraction value". If the differential of your attractiveness values is too high, eventually the opportunity cost will be too great for you and you will find a better guy.

    Thus, long story short, it sounds like, from the tone of your question that you need to tell him to shape up or he may lose you to a 'better' guy. Keep in mind that 'better' for women isn't always looks related. Its his whole persona and the way he moves through life. Cheers.


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What Girls Said 20

  • his loyalty, a confidence boost for him and yourself as he is going to praise you and look at you with such eyes you can only imagine.

    his looks will get better every day as you get more into his personality.

    people's jaws will drop as the beauty and the beast are truly HAPPY together DESPITE other people's perceptions on what could happen.

    The learning of humility as you realize the other person is truly more beautiful than you, and then you learning how to make your insides match your outsides because it is what he deserves.

    The ability to experiment - afterall looks can be drastically changed with a haircut, a new style or cut of suit, posture and the like and confidence. YOU will bethe confidence booster, and the other little suggestions he may just take up inorder to keep a "catch like yourself."

    Afterall, you might be able to do initially better in the look department, but they probably know they are a good comodity and aren't going to be doing all the little things to keep you that the more comely fish will to keep your interest. In the long run, he will deserve you much much more because he is WORKING for you.

  • LOL. "You can do better" is a line that has always baffled me as far as looks go. You can do better if you're dating a guy that is a total jerk, flaky or an outright douchbag, but that phrase in regards of looks is only reserved for people who havn't grown up enough to know that looks fade with age and attitude. I've dated some great looking guys but that's all they had going for them. Dating them never made me happy or feel loved or wanted they were complete tools who treated me and most girls like crap. If you really like this guy then you shouldn't be worried about petty things like how he looks compared to other guys, because I guareentee that the longer you know him, and if he's as good of a guy as you say he is, then he will get more attractive with time. I'm not telling you to date this guy or not, because if you're hung up with his looks then you're probably not going to treat him as good as he deserves. Take a minute and figure out what's more important to you a good guy that treats you like you deserve or a good looking guy that treats you like last nights left overs.


    Having an ugly boyfriend isn't a guaruntee of security in a relationship, but I guess it means he won't be likely to cheat on you, but the flip side is that you won't enjoy doing things as much. If he's ugly to you, the chemistry will be minimal, and that will ultimately hurt your relationship. If it's something you can overlook, great, if not, please don't live a lie to yourself or him because you'll both wind up hurt as a result!

  • that's mean.

    if you think he's ugly, then why are you going out with him?

    further more, why embarrass him if he finds out that you wrote this somehow?

    and also physical attraction is pretty important

    so I mean

    i hate how you are weighting in the benefits of this as you compromise this guy's great personality for his lack of physical appearance?

    i really don't know where to start but

    why do you think you are so much better than this guy? just because of looks? if that's fact, then it shows how empty you are emotionally. sorry

  • To you, your boyfriend is beautiful in ways that other people are too ignorant and stubborn to find out. Not everything is about looks, ya know. Ignore what your friends say, they don't love him the way you love him. Would you look at their boyfriends and say "you can do better", even though you have never dated their dudes once in your life? Tell them they can suck it, because its the way he makes YOU feel that matters, not the way he makes THEM feel. Good luck.

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