How to deal with my boyfriend's ex that keeps texting him?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend dated a girl for like 4 years before me and they had been broken up for a year before me and him got together. She found out he was seeing someone (me) and texts him saying mean things about me or asking to meet for lunch or just telling him she's thinking about him. He told her to stop (I saw the text he sent her) and he said he doesn't respond when she texts him. But it is SO SO SO annoying do I just suck it up and get over it or what should I do about it?

[smellylittlecat]

I think he knows it's affecting you. I have had this happened and hated this girl for trying to break us up. She just wants what she can't have or is really still hung on him.

One thing I learned is he has to know how to handle this situation. I kept on dealing with it and the ex had kept on trying to ruin things between us for a long time. I can understand being jealous and whatnot but she seemed to lose her dignity from my perspective. If he no longer wants you, I think she should suck it up and let it go. She is just creating bad karma for herself and a bad reputation of being a clingy ex.

He has to block her, delete her, do whatever it takes to make her stop messing up the special bond between you two because she is obviously disrespecting your happiness. She is not a friend to him for trying to hurt you. He needs to know what a good ex is and what a screwed up ex is.

The thing that messed me up was that I became very insecure after a while and would bug him and check up on her almost 24/7. She is not your problem; she is his problem. I know that if you become very obsessive of this crazy ex (she is obviously for trying to interfere with something that is no longer hers), you will seem like the crazy one too. So don't bug him out about it. He will not like it either. Just let him realize that this is hurting you and you don't like how she is disrespecting you by saying those things that aren't true. Good luck. I hate rotten girls/ or guys. Usually it's the girls I see. =\

[SaucieMaMa]

My husband's ex called him once, and I freaked. I didn't handle the situation maturely AT ALL, it was rediculous, I asked to have the phone once I knew who it was (she only called him when she wanted to have sex back in the day, so if figured that's why she was calling it was years since they had talked last) So anyway, I said "hi, THIS IS HIS WIFE, YES HE's MARRIED, YOU NEED TO NOT CALL HIM EVER AGAIN OR THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS." I waited to hear a responce, she didn't say anything so I hung up. then I told him, he had to call her and tell her what's up. she he called her said "I don't want anything to do with you don't call back" and he changed his number.. I didn't handle it very maturely, BUT it got my point across.. I have a bad temper which I should pray to the Lord to help me with, when it comes to the ones I love, I will fight for them.. and I will always win... Serious, losing isn't an option when it comes down to that..

anyway, she's very jealous of you, and she doesn't know you she has no right talking smack. you can either call her and try to befriend her, or call her and tell her you don't respect what she's doing and you think she needs to move on and get a life that doesn't involve your lover. or have your boyfriend call her talk to her for a sec and then YOU talk to her so she knows you're all on the same page, THAT should end it.

Im so sorry you're going through this.. some girls have no class and don't know how to move on.. eww I don't like those little girls

[Asker]

Oh that would have been a good idea so have me talk to her for a sec then have him! unfortunately.. we broke up anyways so he's probably with her right now?!! fantastic..!

[SaucieMaMa]

Ughhhh are you serious?? what happened? well the last thing you want to do is call him and text and act all jealous like she did. whether or not her actions worked to get what she wanted the girl has no respect for herself. you want to be the one who's miss independant and doesn't need a man if he comes back, cool, if not then at least you won't be remembered as the desperate ex. welcome to independance, love!

[TaurusFemmeFatale]

I would get the entire story first before I make a decision.

I would speak to her first WOMAN to WOMAN!

Keep in mind, what a man wouldn't tell you, a woman would. My friend was in a similar situation. She was involved with this man for 1 year. He kept telling my friend that his ex was a stalker, and a psycho. The supposedly ex kept blowing up his cell phone. Sending him text messages, asking him why he was avoiding her. Come to find out, as for the ex, apparently he was driving the car this woman paid for. She was paying most of his bills. He was dropping by her family functions.He continued to sleep with her off and on, telling her that my friend was just 'temporary' and he needed time to clear his head. I'm not saying that your man is lying...but there is always two sides to a story. Get her version, analyze both arguments, and then make your decision.

[thelittlethings]

Have him change his number.

Just so you know though, my ex had an ex that would text him all the time, it went on for two years and never stopped. He swore he never text her back, and I even saw the rude messages he sent her saying to leave him along. After two years and she still hadn't given up though, I started to get curious so I checked our phone bill and he was texting her from the second he left for work until the second he pulled into the driveway. She wanted more of him so she kept texting even when she knew we were together trying to break us up. One time I went through his phone before he could delete the messages from the day and he had met her for lunch. If she is that persistent and not giving up, he may be leading her on.

[MssBoss]

You're absolutely right,yours was the answer I was looking for...it's important to understand girls don't stay interested off of nothing. If the girl is constantly texting him,it's because the guy is giving her "hope." So just because he says he's doing nothing,don't believe it. It's VERY RARE you have a psychotic girl in the wings. Girls are naturally insecure in relationships. As a female you shouldn't have to get involved in the dispute with his past girlfriends. Let him do it.

[Anonymous]

1 first no that you guys should completly trust each other...another thing is you should all have a talk 2 clear things up that he has no intrest in her what so ever and that she gets that..

if all else fails tel him 2 change his cell number =)

[Littletad]

Ask him to block her number on his phone. Let him know it bothers you of course. She is no longer his girlfriend, you are, and she needs to get over it.

[Reeses-pieces777]

well tell him you feel uncomfortable. I would think that he did something to her to make her this way. it depends on what types of texts. maybe he did something to her, didn't treat her well back then.

[pattys]

If he wanted to be with her he would be plain & simple. If she wants to stalk him, then just chalk her up to being crazy & just enjoy being with your guy. In fact just refer to her as "the stalker" & if you trust him, just say "you deal with the stalker & I would rather not hear about her anymore." That way you are confident about you & it takes any of the game playing out of your relationship.

[pearl1979]

If he is not paying much attention to it then I wouldn't worry about ok.

[chemirrr]

Well, I think you should suggest that he changes his number because obviously if she knows that he doesn't want her and she is still bugging she's just slow on so many levels.