Search Results: perfect date relationships

I have two friends: both are 40, have chosen the single life for years. One is a guy, he was friends with a girl in her early 30’s for a year and dated her casually for a year before he finally decided she was the one and asked her to be his girlfriend. After one year of seriously dating, he proposed marriage at Christmas. They married two months later. He’s a guy, we’ll call him Ryan. Him taking his time is fine.

The other friend is a woman (we’ll call her Tara), she’s been “seeing” a guy (also 40) for at least 9 months. They haven’t labeled it yet, every time I ask her when she’s labeling the relationship she always says “we’re taking our time with it, keeping it casual and just being friends first”. I love Tara, but she’s out of her freakin mind. I demanded my boyfriend to define the relationship after 5 months. Tara does want this guy, but she just lives in her own little shell and won’t demand what she wants. She just sits back lets things happen and says she wants him to define it in his own time (I told her drop his ass if he doesn’t define it at the end of this month).

It’s fine that Ryan took his time. He’s a guy and it’s more socially accepted for him to put off relationships and marriage. For women I don’t understand it though. I feel like when we go that route, we get used, we get our time wasted and we get hurt. I think Tara is making a huge mistake, but my boyfriend says she’s not. What if she defines the relationship and then decides she doesn’t like him after all (that’s his logic). Maybe because I’m also dying to matchmake her and there’s a friend of my bf’s who I want her to meet (because he’s dying to date her and I think they’re perfect for each other).

I’m 40, she’s 39 and both of us spent way too much time navigating the dating world. We’ve both been told since turning 30 to date men 10 to 20 years older. I’ve been more open to it than she was. She’s still not open to it. She’s really pretty so her looks aren’t an issue, but she gets passed over and dumped CONSTANTLY by men our age for younger women and the last time really hurt her.

I started dating a man age 54 last year and have never been happier, and dating him taught me two things: 1.) it’s really true that men like to be a little bit older than their women and 2.) men need to feel lucky to have a woman in order for a relationship to work (my boyfriend and I both know how lucky we are to have each other, but he courted and pursued me like no man my own age ever did). My friend has not accepted this yet, and it’s such a shame because my boyfriend has a friend who is perfect for her. The guy met her one time and has been begging me ever since to set him up with her and he’s been pursuing her nonstop but she won’t give him a chance just because he’s 60. She says the age gap is too big and she won’t date him because he’s 20 years older even though he treats women really well, can give her the life and love she deserves and can also respect all of the wonderful qualities that she has to offer.

That man has outright told me that he wants someone our age. How can I make her see that women our age are better off with men that age?

She said the oldest she’ll date is 50.

Am I right when I say middle aged women in their late 30’s should be dating men in their late 50’s/early 60’s? Is she right that the age gap is too big?