If so, Why do they do it?
Why do girls like to gossip?
If so, Why do they do it?
Yep girls spend most of their time talking about other girls, guys, their interests etc.
Girls do it because its the way we bond with one another. A lot of the time we reach a consensus and all agree that we don't like someone so it makes us feel better about ourselves. I think its a lot to do with insecurity to be honest. You can be friends with a girl but it often doesn't mean a lot when it comes to loyalty whereas guys are much more chilled out and the bitching doesn't reach the same fever pitch. I am a feminist but honestly the way girls slate each other says something else about us women and its not something I would be proud of. People go on about sisterhood but honestly women are very competitive and are constantly pitting against each other deep down. I keep trying not to bitch but sometimes its hard not to just let rip and vent even though it doesn't do any good lol.
One area where we can be better than men (lol) is in expressing our feelings. is. If someone hurt me, I would go to a female friend for consolation whereas men are better at fixing a concrete tangible problem. Some guys open up a bit at times, it just would take a lot longer and men relate to people differently than women anyway. Women are very emotional whereas men are much more about banter and teasing in a harmless way. Its good to be around a mix of guys and girls because men will lighten any tension with humour whereas women will just bitch!Being around only females is a heightened atmosphere emotionally.
Men and women communicate differently. Males tend to use "report" communication, meaning talking about the score of a game, statistics from a newspaper article, the betting pool of their fantasy football, etc... It's literally "small talk".
Women however rely on "rapport" communication, meaning they talk about other people or things, as a way to catch each other up on people's lives. They are more interested in the social and personal aspect of communication, rather than the more casual and closed off communication of men.
Now, this isn't accurate across the board, but social psychology research shows that men and women talk about different topics, and women talk twice as much as men. Just look at my response compared to the men's! :)
When I was like 12 - 16 girls did gossip a lot which I never really understood why they were interested in other people they barely knew lived ! I had rumors said about me and people I never even seen in my life would be like oh your the one this ,that and the other and its like em what do I know you ? Girls that gossip are sad and don't lead a very exciting life if all they do is gossip about people and are very immature ! But now I'm 18 which isn't old but people I know don't really gossip like they used to when we were younger ! Seriously we don't all gossip its just the bored sad pathetic girls that do ! Immature I know ! But they'll learn one day not too when someone starts gossiping about them
Yeah, I've seen too many people that have been hurt by gossips when they've done nothing wrong . One girl in my old school used to have a 'loose' life, but then she came to my school and she changed . Unfortunately, a girl from her old school came and spread stories about her and she was REALLY hurt by it . He wasn't like that any more . It is very immature . There's so much that can be done to improve someone's life, so why ruin it ? Is that really entertaining ? I can't understand that . It's sick .
After high school it doesn't matter anymore, because only the losers stick around to remember and gossip about the people they went to school with. The cool people go off to get college degrees and high paying jobs and could care less about high school gossip. As a result, the cool people live very exciting and rewarding lives!
That doesn't change the fact that it makes some people's lives miserable during their school years. Some people think they have no friends during that time, and it really doesn't exactly let them get a good school life. My school years were some of the worst of my life (to the point of attempted suicide) and though that had nothing to do with gossiping, it does mean that during that time, life can be as good or bad as it can outside school. It is still a hectic life.
If anyone is gossiping and making peoples lives hard for them well then they deserve to feel like the person they hurt at least once in there life! But unfortunately this isn't always the case! And I think id prefer to be a guy if all the have to put up with is talking about sex & cars lol which isn't true all the time! Because been gossiped about is worse than anything
Yeah, I agree fully. Gossiping really does make people's lives miserable most of the time. It stops people from making their own first impression. Nobody should be made to feel like that because it is miserable. Unfortunately talking about sex and cars isn't all you'd have to deal with as a guy. Are you the anon who asked that question? Beside the point. Anyway, guys also deal with peer pressure and stupid guys that have no maturity. Makes me believe girls mature faster. Some guys are animals.
No I'm not the person who asked that question I just seen it and thought yeah if that's all guys had to talk about they would be lucky but its not most of my friends are guys and they go through more than my girl friends do
Hmm, I was just wondering about that question. Sometimes it's hard for some people to ask anon questions. It's much easier to do so now that they've taken away the ranking from the anon people. It used to be easy to see (when someone had a high rank, in a certain age group, and said where they came from) who they really were.
Anyhoo, I don't think it's possible to say guys or girls have harder lives. Each have their own worries. Some guys also gossip, despite people thinking that we don't.
Oh fellas can be worse gossipers than girls believe me I know this but the point is gossip isn't a nice thing at all
Unfortunately that is very true. I have, to my regret, done this in the past. It wasn't with nasty intent, but it changed the way I felt about others when I should've known better. I now try and stop it before I can start.
Do you try and stop other friends when they're starting to gossip? Sometimes that can be harder than not taking part in it, but hearing you say you've been hurt by this in the past can help. How are you now? Have you gotten over that hurt from other gossiping people?
Oh yeah everything anyones ever said doesn't bother me now at all thankfully! I grew up so that's what made me realize what people say doesn't matter once you& the people you care about know the truth
That's very cool, and I'm glad to hear it. Gossiping can be seen as another type of bullying, just not as direct, yet even worse for it. There's a fairly well known statement saying that 'the truth will set you free' so I'm glad that it was proven in you. These people that say or do mean things to you in school or life don't really matter because they don't really know you, and they can't dictate who you are and what your life should be. In truth, they lead empty and immature lives. I'm glad 4u!
Is it true that guys talk about sex and cars 24/7 ? At my age group, a lot of girls do gossip . But it really isn't as many as you think . There are the few heavy gossipers, but honestly all my friends ad everyone else just looks at them like they are stupid . Who cares who is doing what at ? I think people gossip because they are insecure about themselves and need to find something wrong with other peoples' lives . It makes them feel good and make their life seem so much better . And sometimes it is just fun to hear what everyone else is doing :) .
Cars ? Not for the guys I know . Sex ? Again, no . Think about sex 24/7 ? One stat I've heard about says that guys think about sex every six seconds . It's true - not actual sex, per say, but that includes every thought about what a girl looks like .
Girls like your sort are rare if I compare them to many girls I know . So many of them are totally immature and gossip about others as if it is actually entertaining . Then you get shows like 'Desperate House Wives' and that sort of rubbish . Thanks, really !
They do in my office. I still don't understand how they can manage to get their work done when half their time is spent talking all-day. Where did they learn how to multi-task? link
Well, guys do it also. We lie and say that all we talk about are sports, or our studies, or whatever we happen to be into.
Guys gossip too.
Very true. Unfortunately it is often also about even worse things. Things girls hate guys sharing about.
Opinion
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I don't really see why girls, just because they're girls, get the stereotypical "Oh, they must be a gossip. " It's not necessarily gossip, either. A lot of girls like to talk, true, and they oftentimes run off to repeat something that they've just found out. However, not all girls are like this. Besides, I think that the main reason for "gossiping" is just to "share their knowledge". Many girls like to know other people's business because they like to help. Some just because they have something juicy to hang over someone's head or later use as a bargaining tool to find out something that they really want to know. However, I will restate my earlier statement: not all girls are like this.
It's not because they're girls that they're gossips. Guys gossip too, and it's actually quite well known, despite popular opinion. For them though, it's more debased than what girls can get up to. It's more about the 'notches' than what so-and-so did yesterday. I'm sorry if you interpreted this as just targeting girls. It's more a question of 'is it true that girls gossip all the time'? I can agree - not all are.
Girls don't always use knowledge to help. It can be fairly malicious too.
Thanks!
Girls that spend most of their free time gossiping are bored with their lives and have nothing else better to do and can't think of an intelligent conversation worth talking about . Because what Jane Doe wore today, and who Sally is screwing is soooo much more important than what's going on in the world today . Sadly, a lot of girls are like that but thankfully not all of us lol .
Thankfully . Thanks for the awesome answer . BTW, thanks for all the awesome questions - they really give me a chance to rant after thinking a bit about my answer .
Pleasure . I enjoy good questions from you and NotSoBad because they're original (so many 'does he like me' questions) and make me think . BTW, check the comment below for Cotton-Candy-Summer's comment line .
Yeah I love his questions too ! And yours are original as well ! The funny, well not so funny, thing about when girls do that though is very rarely will the guy ever find out that that's been done . Girls can be evil lol . I know guys can too but it's on a totally different level .
Thanks ! Yeah, the evil girls can be truly evil . In an ideal world, there'd be a neon sign above them saying 'evil girl - don't touch ! ' but that's not going to happen . I'm glad that I haven't had any experiences with girls like that, unless I'm still completely unaware .
it's fun.
and it feels harmless.
unless it goes to far.and then you realize you've been being completely unfair and mean.
I don't gossip anymore, it was more of a highschool thing.bassically when we're bored, it's the only thing we can think of to do that entertaining
Hmm, interesting answer. When does it become mean, though? I'm of the opinion that creating a false idea of someone can be every bit as mean as being outright nasty because you stop someone from showing people who they really are - it's like they don't have the chance to make their first impression because a gossip has already done it for them. I dunno. I've never known where to draw the line between gossip and reporting honest fact to someone who needs to know. Any thoughts on it?
Not at all! they only do it, because it would help make them selves feel better. I honestly have, and it just makes you feel guilty, even if it's about a friend. I don't do it anymore, but that's the main reason why girls do it. & also to make other people feel bad.
You should see my comments to KillJessi. I commented to her before looking at your answer, and I see it applies here too. I agree with you.
I certainly hope we don't spend MOST of our free time gossiping!
I've read your comments on the first few answers . . . your definition of gossip is very narrow--I would call this libel instead. To me, almost everything you discuss is gossip. If you're inquiring about a friend you haven't seen in years, that's gossip too.
As to why people spread malicious rumors . . . well, can't help you there! I don't think this is a guys vs. girls issue so much as it is one of personality, clique, upbringing, etc. There are certainly guys out there who are just as bad, especially when they start rumours about various things they've done--and by done, I mean NOT done--with their girlfriends.
I suppose it is fairly narrow. What I am really asking about then, is about those malicious rumors, or when someone discusses someone else and it leads to misconceptions - which can be even worse. 'Desperate Housewives' is a prime example of what I mean. I can definitely see what you meant with the last comment in your answer. Go read another question I've got about why some guys seem to prove their idiocy with their dirty comments about girls' bodies. Good responses there too.
Well I only really gossip when I'm with my girls. So that's not really all my free time but I think they gossip because they have feelings[good or bad doesn't matter] about someone and want to know how everyone else feels. And if they should feel they way they feel about that person still after gossiping.
That doesn't sound like the gossiping that I'm referring to here. That's just gathering information about the person you like and asking about what you should do about it. What I'm talking about is the thing of spreading rumors or listening to them and making them more sensational (i.e, worse). That is nothing shy of pure evil. I've seen just a few too many people hurt like this.
How do you feel about someone before you've met them? Wouldn't you rather meet before deciding? It works much better.
They sometimes gossip to guys about girls because they want guys on their side....and they want everybody to hate the girl they hate so they gossip about them and say things that they promised they would ever tell people....if a girl tells another girl not to tell someone a secret....they wont....until the get pissed at that girl then they tell everyone
I suppose I can see that, but isn't that the very definition of cattiness? To break trust like that - if I ever found someone I was interested in was doing that, I would cease to hold any feelings but contempt for her. I've seen that done when a girl came to my school and determined she would change. Another girl from her old school also moved, and then started rumors and telling stories about her. It totally destroyed all that she'd tried to change in herself.
Girls are very social people . We like to talk about other people and other people's relationships . I'm pretty sure all girls talk about other people, but who doesn't .
However, not all girls spend time talking BAD about other people . If you run into a girl that often talks bad about others, beware . If she talks bad about them, she'll probably talk bad about you, too .
I've seen many people being hurt by gossiping . Many times it's not because the person is talking trash, but rather the person is creating a false image of another person, and that changes the way people view them .
Erg, that sounds ugly . If I found out about that, I'll never pay the girl that did it another thought .
I usually do it because its fun and when I'm bored its usually the only thing left to do. Also girls tend to learn a lot about themselves, their friends and other people when they gossip. A lot tends to come out when we gossip.
Are you impressed with the things that you find out about your friends? Or about other people? I find that the best way to get to really know someone with all the truth there, is to actually go straight to the source - the actual person. Few people that I know will also actually find gossiping fun because I've seen so many people hurt by it. I've even chatted to people online who've been driven to thoughts of suicide by this (not only this site). Gossiping can turn REALLY nasty things worse.
Its not usually nasty gossiping. Its a shame people always think gossiping is negative. If there's something going on, we talk about it and what happened. Or if someone has something interesting we talk about it. Its gossiping, just not in a negative way. And of course the best way to get to know people is to talk to them, but, especially for people who are not very open, its not always that easy.
Well, in my opinion, gossiping is often associated with maliciousness. I don't think that gossiping is always a bad thing, I do it to learn more about people. I don't know why girls like to do it though.
Do you not see it as being something that creates misconceptions about people? You can't really get to know someone honestly if you don't spend time with them. I suppose you can get to find what other people think about someone, but again, is that a true idea of what they're like? Oh well, thanks for the answer.
I kind of do think it creates misconceptions, because I know when someone is gossiping about me, what they're saying is usually false. I think it is important to get to know someone before making assumptions, I've learned that lesson many time because I for one always change my mind about people because I know my assumptions are often wrong.
That shows a good deal of maturity. I've read somewhere that it takes a good deal of character to forgive someone for being wrong, but even more to forgive someone for being right. At least I think it was character? Dunno. That kind of relates to this too. It's INCREDIBLY hard to change your own views about someone when you realize that they are wrong. That you can do that makes you pretty special. Now it's just to stop those misconceptions from forming in the first place. Gossiping hurts others
Because it makes us feel better about our selfs
If a girl says I'm wrong they're lying
The more flaws we point out on them the less we feel we have
Crazy huh?!
It's not crazy, really - just sad. I've heard it said that it's easier to break someone down then to build them up. Did you know that the more you focus on someone else's flaws and how it 'cancels out' your own, the more you'll focus on your own anyway? Also, this type of 'feeling better about yourselves' won't last. If you want something that will, try building other people up. It will help them, as well as yourself. You may even find you enjoy it even more.
It depends. Sometimes they gossip from boredom or when it comes to trying to get the guy eliminating the competition and/ or to feel better about themselves
Sounds very shallow, not to mention that no guy I know would like a girl that tried to get rid of the competition like that. Does it really make girls, or anyone for that matter, feel better about themselves?
Yeah well if only boys knew what girls said and did in locker rooms. the innocent ones would hardly seem innocent. but yeah it does make SOME girls feel good about putting down others
I suppose the locker rooms comment goes both ways, though I see you've answered my other question about that sort of thing.
I've also heard someone say that it's easier to pull someone down than to pull someone up. I can't say that I can respect someone like that. For the girls that would do that, I can only wish in vain that there was a neon sign over their heads saying what type of person she is so I can avoid nasties. Goes both ways too, I'd say.
I know what you mean. I wish it was the same with boys. But then again gossip are only just another way of just saying rumors
Very true. I was lucky enough to fly low under the radar at school so that I avoided getting hit with rumors, at least as far as I know. It was only in my final two weeks or so that a rumor started to spread about me. True, I think, but how others found out scares me (very personal info).
Ha that was impossible with me. I couldn't fly under the radar. My brother(s) popularity did that to me :/ but I usually ignore them killings them with kindness is so fun after awhile
I suppose that would be fun. Seeing their faces when you're kind to them after they've been nasty to you would be really funny. I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that. It can't have been easy. Life is much easier out of the spot light.
Aww thx. But it was hard at first because I wasnt use to it. My brothers were always there to protect me when I was younger but when I had to deal it by myself I think I cried a lot after awhile I ignored it and people stopped spreading them because I didn't pay attention to it. But college is better. Rumors are rarely spread.
Didn't you have friends to help you through it? I only had my bro with me in school, so if anything was started, it would be me by my lonesome self. My friends all went to different schools on the other side of Cape Town (the city I'm from). A friend can really help you through anything.
I'm glad that college is better for you. Frat boys (ie, moronic idiots without two brain cells to rub together that'll make a spark of intelligence) will spread rumors. Be careful; it's often really dirty.
I had friends who helped me through it all. But yeah the frat guys here are pretty cool. They haven't tried anything. Yet. Lol
That's good, because if the whole thing of 'girls mature faster than guys' thing is to believed, they're just now starting to get into the whole gossiping stage, and they'll be FAR worse than any of your worst nightmares of what girls did or can do. More personal too. Good luck with the college, as well as finding friends there that'll stick with you.
Girls mostly like to gossip cause it's a fun thing to do. They might be wondering what the guys are saying about them. Oh yeah! You most watch out some girls do this to cause drama and start stuff.
Yeah, I hate it when some girls do that to start things off. It's shallow and causes problems for no good reason. I don't really see trying to find out what guys are saying about you as gossip unless there's someone who answers that with a lie to get rid of you. It's more information gathering. Gossip, in my opinion, is spreading false stories about someone or compounding a false impression, or even talking nastily about someone when they can't defend themselves. That I absolutely HATE.
i don't gossip. I hate gossip. I despise gossip
i guess I'm a unique girl
i have not time for that sh*t
i have 2 jobs, school, and a place to pay for on my own
so...yeah. gossip is garbage
No I don't think so! Well yes we do gossip a lot I have to admit but not when were having fun we do it because were bored or can't think of something else to say
Doesn't that ever feel empty? All the gossiping doesn't really help anyone or make anyone feel good about themselves, does it? I can see where you're coming from, but surely there are better things you can do to pass time?
They don't talk about sports like us, lol
Lol. I suppose that does take up a little time here and there.
Gossip is a pretty stupid thing. I always get a feeling that some girls I may have seen are gossiping about me.
Frankly, gossiping is just interesting to us .
I can see that, but is it still interesting when you start hurting friends and people you claim to care about with the gossiping ? How much is too much ?
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