True or False: Unfriending EX on Facebook shows that may be feeling bitter.

[Anonymous]

I'm not talking about when your significant other asks you to do it or not but when you willingly do it yourself.

Although it may be gesture of separation, performing the "unfriending" kind of shows the other person that you have strong enough feelings about them to make the move.

I personally think that if you wanted to show that you don't care about them anymore the best thing to do is nothing at all. "Unfriending" them may make you come off pathetic and bitter.

Yes, you would come off more 'bitter' than if you did nothing at all.

No, you will not come off more 'bitter' than if you did nothing at all.

See answer

Updates

+1 y

Well, the thing is, what if I dumped him? I don't hate him and I have no updates on my Facebook. I hide all my pictures, friends, and no one can write on my wall. Even when I do go on dates, I never write it on Facebook.



He's already dating a nice hot girl so it's all good. I just wanted to know what you guys think.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like your ex is worth all the time and energy? I mean some people are simply more worth it to be friends with after a break up. Some people are not friendship material after a break up.

ask yourself " why do you still want to remain friends with him?" is it really because he was a good friend or is it because of some other reason?"

Unfriending and ex would only allow both parties to move on. I mean even if you did break up with him, you are still going to be carious and get uncomfortable over that date he went on or that girl in the photo and even all the fun he could be having.

And No- I don't think you would be seen as bitter, you simply just want and need a break from each other after the break up to figure things out. the distance is good, it allows growth. when your heart feels ready to be friends it will tell you.

I un-friended my ex and I never added him again because I felt like he wasn't worth it for me to be friends with.

sometimes ignorance is a bliss. Maybe unfriend that ex could help you instead.

[Hidden_P]

I unfriended my ex (we're friends again) because I hated seeing things on his Facebook - comments, pictures, everything, I hated it. It hurt me so much. So I removed him. I explained this to him and he understood, as it turned out, he felt the same.

I think it depends on the break up to be honest... and also the type of person behind it:

-If it was an amicable break up I don't see a reason to unfriend the other. In this place, it could be bitter.

-If one of you gets a new partner, that may be a reason. It's not being bitter, it's protecting the ex and the new partner.

-If it was a vicious break up I think the least of your worries is Facebook. There's usually much more carnage to worry about...

[Hidden_P]

@update if you don't really update anything anyway I wouldn't delete him. There's no real point. If you were upset by him seeing this really hot girl, then there would be your reason, but you sound to have been mature and taken the high road so... huge well done and fair play to you!

[Bear_of_Death]

I did the same thing to an ex-hope. No explanation, and we're still kind of friends.

[Hidden_P]

@Bear_of_Death we aren't anymore ha. haven't spoken for over a year and a half, my terms.

[Bear_of_Death]

I had a much earlier interest and much harsher "break up". No contact for seven years, my choice. A former coworker, who I didn't like very much, convinced me to work on forgiveness. So I reached out to that one, we forgave each other and every now and then I send her an e-mail about something I think might interest her about my life. She hasn't responded to anything but the initial reaching out.

[Hidden_P]

@Bear_of_Death, we ended up getting back together and then he cheated on me with a minor. I haven't spoken to him ever since and never will.

[Bear_of_Death]

I'm not surprised my older love interest doesn't respond. Even forgiven, I was rather insulting, repeatedly, in e-mails while I was working through my emotions when the rejection was fresh. Besides, I was never really that close a friend with her in the first place.

[Hidden_P]

@Bear_of_Death sometimes I think some things are best left. I know that now.

[Anonymous]

True because you put a lot into going as far as to doing it, you could always just hie them and not get into their profile

[Anonymous]

If you keep them, then you must want them, if you delete them, you still want them but are bitter. People are going to believe what-ever they want to, to make themselves feel better..

Best thing to do is take 15 min out of your life, delete, unfriend, do what-ever to get rid of them from all social sites That way there are no doors left open, no confusion or no chance of any mis-understandings on what your intentions are. Far from being pathetic.. Worrying about what someone does with their FB is in my opinion.

If your going to move on, then do it clean. If you want to drag it on, leave them on your social sites, check up on them everyday.

Unfriending simply means they don't care to know what you're doing & they are moving on, trying to move on or already have done so. Doesn't always mean they are bitter at all.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Seriously, this whole thing that people in their early 20's do, remaining friends after a break up is biggest bunch of sissy bs I've seen in the world of relationships.

When you break up, it should be over something legitimate like they slept with your friend, or hit your mother, or wrecked your car while driving drunk.

Therefore, communicating with them is last thing you'd want to do. So the "political ramifications" of Facebook wouldn't even register as a concern.

All this "we broke up because it was difficult to express our emotions" is such a load of garbage. Get serious! Especially if you're a guy saying that kind of thing, you ought to be embarrassed.

Break up=We're not talking on Facebook anymore!

[Asker]

Well how about breaking up because one moved away and cannot come back any time soon because of job/money situation?

We ended because I moved away for a job. I had to, no choice whatsoever. Neither of us have enough money to fly around the world to see each other. Long distance (more oftentimes than not) never work.

Especially when there is no time limit to the distance. What do you think about that kind of 'breaking up'?

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

I don't know man, what do you think about that kind of breaking up?

If you can't communicate because of time difference, what's the point of Facebook?

[enigmatta]

I don't agree.

I unfriended my two exes because I simply don't care what they do in their lives, I don't care if they are happy, sad, mad, joyous. I never intended on establishing some friendship, the friends in common that we have are neutral, so I don't get to hear a lot about the exes through them. Since I don't give a damn about them, why would I pretend being an adult and keeping them? No. I do what I want and I wanted to kick them out of my life. Simple as that. Less garbage in my feed and I don't want them knowing what I'm doing, what I'm feeling or who I'm dating.

If I wanted to keep some friendship, maybe I'd keep them, but if I don't, then it's pointless.

[eaeaea]

I disagree, why would I want to stay in touch with an ex? Cut them off completely. If you actually liked/loved the person, of course there will be feelings, they don't just disappear, so that's obvious regardless. But, I wouldn't stay in touch, I could care less what he thinks at that point. If it's over, the best way in my opinion to eliminate whatever feelings are left is to have as little to no communication at all with that person.

If you keep them, you might tend to semi/stalk them to see what they are up to or who they are with or blah blah blah, that sh*t is not necessary.

[windy-rose]

This really depends more on the nature of the break up.

Un-friending might help someone get over their ex faster, it'd be a way of not constantly seeing their updates, pictures, or be tempted to message them.

If the relationship died in flames- a rapid unfriending could have come out of angst. It also could again be a way of getting them out of their life for good reason.

Staying friends could also go either way- it could lead to a drawn out hanging on, or if it ended in friendship there really isn't a reason to de-friend them.

[RedSmartie]

Sometimes it's bitter and sometimes it's not. I had an ex a few years ago who really hurt me and when he got a new girlfriend a few days after we broke up, I didn't want to see it so I unfriended him. I guess that can constitute as bitter. Later we tried to make up and become friends so we added each other again. Then a few months later I realized that we were just pretending to be friends and that we never communicated on or outside of Facebook anyway, so I just unfriended him because it didn't make sense to go on pretending like we were all buddy-buddy. So I guess it depends.

[TheDigitalSaint]

I don't have my ex's on Facebook. I have no intention of getting back together with them, so I see no point in allowing them to stalk me online. Lets face it, sometimes certain people have a hard time letting go. I want to move on, so I'm not interested in stalking my exs' pages.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Update: I don't see what the big deal is? He met another girl, and you're moving on as well, right? No need to overthink it.

[Asker]

Just curious whether I should unfriend or not. That's all. What do you think after the update? I think we are both happy right now.

[TheDigitalSaint]

I think you should ignore his Facebook feed and unsubscribe from it. If the two of you broke up in an adult and peaceful manner, you don't have to unfriend him. Perhaps you want to reconnect at a later date? In the mean time, you don't want to be stalking his page or obsessing over him. If you're not the type of girl to stalk a guy's page, I don't think it is unhealthy to keep him as a friend. Do you know what type of girl you are? Are you tempted to obsess over him, or can you be happy for him?

[Asker]

100% Happy for him . Thanks man. You're cool.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Then don't unfriend him, who knows, perhaps at some point the two of you want a second go at it? Perhaps not? Either way, as you have promised not to turn into a stalker chick, he has nothing to worry about, and you're going to find another awesome guy to date, right? Either way, you both win because you've promised to behave like an adult.

Good luck dear and happy hunting for a new guy. Glad to be of service.

[Anonymous]

I Unfreind people ALL the time- if we stop actually talking in real life or they post things I don't want to be associated with (I'm in corporate communications so my online image has to be clean). An ex, well, I'd Unfriend him if we weren't planning on being friends anymore. Some exes, I still see occassionally, talk to, consider casual friends so we're also Facebook friends. Others- I never talk to and have no idea what they're doing with their lives so it makes little sense to keep them on Facebook.

This is my general rule for Facebook anyway- which is why I only have like 60 friends, and I like it that way!

[BCRanger10]

If the break-up was "normal", as in they didn't love each other, they realized they were incompatible, etc., I could see how some might think that. You can block their updates from your news feed but still keep them on your friend list. However, if there were other circumstances like one mistreating the other, cheating, lying, abuse, etc., I think it's perfectly reasonable to delete and block them. In that case, they are just defending themselves from getting hurt again.

[vishna]

I think most people do it out of anger or disdain for the ex.

So for the mos part it can look bitter but a lot of times it's because the person simply doesn't want a reminder of their ex every time they get on Facebook. Out of sight out of mind. It's easier to move on when the person isn't constantly being thrust in the others' face.

:)

[ryanontario]

its the norm to unfriend ex's or guys a girl meet at some point especially when she starts to see another guy . I've had that happen a number of times , she starts to see someone new and suddenly I notice she had disappeared on Facebook .

do think a lot of the time there is an element of bitterness but there also doing this cause they have meet someone new and don't see the point in being friends with multi guys online anymore

[id0ntund3rstnd]

it honestly depends on the break up.

If it ended on a good note, don't unfriend them.

If it ended on a bad note, unfriend them, it'll help with getting over them and moving on.

[youllthinkofme]

Depends on the situation. It's somewhat immature to defriend someone right after a break up jut because your mad or bitter. But a friend of mine did delete an ex over fb and blocked his number because he constantly messages her telling her she was a bitch and a slut and so on.

[Anonymous]

I unfriended my ex and his family after our break up. I did it because I knew it would hurt to see him move on. I did/ do want to know what's going on in his life but I know it would just hurt me. So no, it doesn't mean you or show you have bitter feelings. Bitter feelings would be to unfriend, delete all pictures, tags, and then blocking them.

[mormollio]

Makes it seem like you cutting of all contact, never want to talk to them again, you couldn't give a sh*t about what they're doing, or what's going on in their life. Who cares if they think you're bitter though?

[Anonymous]

Why? So the other person can remain nosey?

It's not bitter. It's called moving on. What's the need to keep the other person in view? I don't get it. I don't undeerstand your line of thinking unless it's what I initially mentioned.

[Anonymous]

I ONLY keep actual friends on my Facebook. If I have no intention of actively keeping in touch with a person, I unfriend them. About as soon as they become an EX, it's over and they are out of my life.

[traveltheworld]

Haha this is brilliant

[sugarplum101]

I think unfriending isn't the greatest thing you could do to show you don't care anymore. If you stay "friended" on some social networking site, good for him! Let him see how much better you are without him.

[MildlyOriginal]

Exactly the kind of attitude that I feel is a good reason to unfriend any EX. I don't want to see if you're better off without me. I don't want to see if you're worse off without me. I don't want to think about said person at all, just move on. Learn what you can from it, and just forget about them. Lot easier to forget when your social network isn't reminding you.

[jmr2191]

I wouldn't care what others thought. She's my ex for a reason.

[emzy-89]

no necessarily, maybe you just don't want to have any contact with them, that's not bitter it happens in most relationships. People put too much emphasis on what goes on on fb; like the goings-on on fb are the be all and end all. Its crazy.

[Anonymous]

No, it just shows that you are being an adult and going forward with your life. I think that ex's who remain Facebook friends use jealousy to their advantage.

[antonlikesmlb]

Agreed.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean status changes, pictures with random people and new guys/girls, etc. All is subject to interpretation. I just think that it slows the process of "getting over it"

[Alexias]

Oh, no it is a step in the right direction to moving on! It also depends on the length and depth of the relationship.