So my boyfriend and I have been together a year. The relationship has been going very smoothly aside from one thing; he has two cats and I am allergic to them (not to mention that I do not like cats in general). I will also mention this; he knew I was allergic to cats before we started dating.
So...honestly, I never thought we would be dating for so long considering the 8 year age gap between us, both of our strong personalities, etc. But we seem to mesh quite well. The problem is, he has brought up his desire to live together multiple times lately...and I have no intention of ever living with those two cats, I enjoy my comfort too much to give it up permanently. This isn't to say I haven't tried Claritin or allergy meds. They don't work. I still get stuffed up and sneeze constantly. My sinuses get clogged up and I can't even go to his place when I get colds because I get worse after being around the cats to the point of incapacitation. I'm just tired of it and I don't have the will to go to his place anymore because of them. I don't even care if I only see him once a week as long as I don't have to go to his place and be around the cats.
To make things worse, he has a studio apartment and I can smell the cats before I even walk in the door. The cats are annoying, he lets them sleep with us and gets upset when I push them off the bed, they climb all over the kitchen counters, they wake me up late at night, and one should be on his deathbed but my boyfriend keeps pouring money into vet bills beyond reason. My boyfriend said he would get a one bedroom place for me, but that the cats will wail and hit the door all night if they are locked out of the bedroom like they did at his old place. That sounds fun, right?
I don't know what to do. I don't plan on giving ultimatums, although I don't understand why he won't consider giving his cats to his mother or grandmother, who are devout cat women. I mean, I left my dog with my parents when I moved out because I couldn't give her the big yard she deserves.
Do I just keep quiet about the fact that I don't plan on living with the cats ever? No sense in causing drama if we aren't moving in together now, right? I mean, he's told me things like "oh you could just go get the shots every month..." I'm sorry but I find that insensitive. Why should I go out of my way to live with animals that make me ill unless I go pay to get shots every month when I hate needles? What if the shots don't work either?
Has anyone else dealt with this situation before? How did you handle it? Did you just leave/breakup? I don't want to leave him, I love him, but I won't put my health on the line for two animals I do not love. I will leave if I have to when it comes down to it, but it is sad to think that someone might choose an animal over a potential lifepartner.
So...honestly, I never thought we would be dating for so long considering the 8 year age gap between us, both of our strong personalities, etc. But we seem to mesh quite well. The problem is, he has brought up his desire to live together multiple times lately...and I have no intention of ever living with those two cats, I enjoy my comfort too much to give it up permanently. This isn't to say I haven't tried Claritin or allergy meds. They don't work. I still get stuffed up and sneeze constantly. My sinuses get clogged up and I can't even go to his place when I get colds because I get worse after being around the cats to the point of incapacitation. I'm just tired of it and I don't have the will to go to his place anymore because of them. I don't even care if I only see him once a week as long as I don't have to go to his place and be around the cats.
To make things worse, he has a studio apartment and I can smell the cats before I even walk in the door. The cats are annoying, he lets them sleep with us and gets upset when I push them off the bed, they climb all over the kitchen counters, they wake me up late at night, and one should be on his deathbed but my boyfriend keeps pouring money into vet bills beyond reason. My boyfriend said he would get a one bedroom place for me, but that the cats will wail and hit the door all night if they are locked out of the bedroom like they did at his old place. That sounds fun, right?
I don't know what to do. I don't plan on giving ultimatums, although I don't understand why he won't consider giving his cats to his mother or grandmother, who are devout cat women. I mean, I left my dog with my parents when I moved out because I couldn't give her the big yard she deserves.
Do I just keep quiet about the fact that I don't plan on living with the cats ever? No sense in causing drama if we aren't moving in together now, right? I mean, he's told me things like "oh you could just go get the shots every month..." I'm sorry but I find that insensitive. Why should I go out of my way to live with animals that make me ill unless I go pay to get shots every month when I hate needles? What if the shots don't work either?
Has anyone else dealt with this situation before? How did you handle it? Did you just leave/breakup? I don't want to leave him, I love him, but I won't put my health on the line for two animals I do not love. I will leave if I have to when it comes down to it, but it is sad to think that someone might choose an animal over a potential lifepartner.
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